Straight
by liz-loz
Summary: It's the annual crash-someone's-house-with-a-keg Junior party. Blaine is ready to have a good time. As a straight guy though - the 'good time' he experiences is not what he intended...
1. The Party

_Howdy_

_This is a oneshot dedicated to the wonderful TiffanieElyse, who wrote me possibly THE best review for Friends With Benefits ever (see at lizloz. tumblr. com /post/12652711981)_

_So I gave her a special prize of her own personal story :)_

_She asked for straight Blaine - so here it is!_

_Edit: 1/12/11 This story MAY be continued..._

* * *

><p><strong>Straight<strong>_  
><em>

The party was pumping.

It was one of those stupid mixers – Juniors all getting together in someone's house and drinking from kegs someone had managed to get their uncle to buy. And don't forget the parents away on vacation to Hawaii. There was always one of those.

Anyway, the host of the party was Jacob Somebody-or-other and I was aiming to get drunk. Quinn was already hanging around my waist and I figured it wouldn't be too long before her dainty little fingers were pressing into my skin, trying to stay upright. We'd been going out for quite a while – had already reached all the bases and then some. She was cute, spunky, and _very_ good in bed. I liked her.

"Blaine?" Her voice already had a little slur to it – the two of us had had some of my Dad's whiskey before we'd arrived and it seemed to have gone straight to her head. She looked adorable.

"Yes baby?" I replied with a smile, pulling her up so her face was closer to mine.

"You're really pretty." She giggled, her head lolling to the side, and I grinned further.

"I know. So are you." Leaning forward that extra few inches I pressed our lips together. Quinn tasted of whiskey and strawberries – not normally a very desirable combination but somehow in this case completely delectable. She immediately tried to deepen the kiss, reaching up one hand to hook round my neck and even bringing her leg up slightly towards my waist, but I pulled away.

"Not now baby." That could wait till later.

* * *

><p>We strolled into the epicentre of the party – what seemed to be a living room, but was now a mass graveyard for paper cups and streamers. The football team were here and they all greeted me with loud cries and slaps on the back. Finn Hudson, the reserve quarterback and previous captain, eyed me with a steely glare and said nothing. I laughed. So what I'd stolen his girlfriend and his position? He was old news now. Nobody cared. That Rachel girl was there too – the one that got the lead roles in the plays nobody came to. She was probably the only person that thought about Finn Hudson. Feeling Quinn stumble next to me again I sat her down on nearby sofa, holding her gently and smiling once more as she pawed at my arms with her hands when I stood back up.<p>

"Where are you goiiiing?"

"To get me another drink? You want one?" She nodded vigorously and I wondered why I had bothered asking. For a second I pondered whether or not leaving my semi-drunk girlfriend alone in a house full of football boys was a good idea – but then I shook my head in disapproval at my own stupidity. Nobody was going to take my girl.

* * *

><p>I fought my way through the growing crowds (living nearby meant I'd got here relatively early, but late enough to still be cool) to the kitchen and headed straight towards the drinks table, which was also filled with used cups.<p>

"Alright Blaine?" Rory Flanagan shouted out, his Irish accent cutting across the room in almost the same manner as his over-exaggerated wave. I waved back much more calmly, but didn't elicit the start of a conversation. He wasn't really worth it. Grabbing hold of two clean cups I reached for the keg and filled them up right to the brim, taking a deep sip of both before I began my journey back to the living room. Mmmn. This tasted good. Whiskey was great and all, but there was nothing like a good old cheap beer. If there was enough of this going round I would definitely be wasted in a couple of hours.

A few more people greeted me as I walked back, all receiving the same smile and muted "Hey" reserved especially for them. When I entered back into the living room Quinn sat up, obviously eager for her drink.

"There you go." I handed the smaller one to her, taking another sip of mine as I sat down, and watched her hold it with immense concentration – trying not to spill the liquid even though it was nowhere near the lip of the cup.

"Thanks Blaine." She replied happily, finally taking a sip before snuggling into my body like a little girl. I smiled, lifting up one arm to drape casually around her shoulders and nuzzling my nose into her hair.

"No problem." The party was in full swing in front of us, drinking games, making out, some guys even semi-naked already. I could choose whether I wanted to be a part of any of it – they would all let me in. But for now, I was happy just sitting there watching it all.

Then it happened.

* * *

><p>A boy walked into the room. I assumed he was a junior because there were only ever juniors at these kind of parties. He must have been a junior. But he certainly wasn't anyone I had ever seen around.<p>

"Blaine?" Suddenly the voice of Quinn pierced into my eardrums, her tone inquisitive. I wondered what she was worried about before I realised my whole body had tensed, my muscles clenched and my jaw tight, set shut. I went to turn and respond to her but found myself unable to move. I couldn't budge. My eyes were trained on him.

"Blaine?" The boy had brown hair. Just a normal brown, nothing special. It was styled up into a quiff that vaguely resembled some kind of rock and roll star and his skin was porcelain white, obviously the subject of a rigorous skin routine. Wait – why was I thinking about skin routines? He was definitely gay – you could tell simply from the way he stood, or his shiny black boots fitting over skinny skinny jeans and a positively vulgar red shirt. It was the kind of gay that screamed at you, 'look I'm here and I'm queer get over it'. Gay was a turn-off. But for some reason, I wasn't turned off by this boy at all.

"BLAINE!" Finally I was broken out of my trance. Quinn had decided she really wanted my attention so had hit me on the shoulder, but in doing so split her entire drink all down my arm.

"Fuck! Quinn what the hell?" Immediately I jumped up, knocking my girlfriend but not caring. My hands brushed frantically at my shirt, trying to get rid of the liquid before it soaked into the cotton and droplets flew everywhere. It was no use. The beer had already made an ugly stain and I growled in frustration.

"_Why_ did you do that?"

"I was just trying to get your attention! You went all funny!"

"No I didn't!" Suddenly hit with a stinging realisation my retort was harsher than I'm been meaning – Quinn shrunk back into the sofa and immediately I was filled with regret.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby..." Leaning over I went to kiss her but she wriggled away – I played the game and followed her with my face until finally she had to give in and our lips met once more.

"I'm sorry." My girlfriend let me fall forward and we kissed deeply some more, my hands reaching up to stroke her hair until a couple of seconds later we broke away.

"Silly Blaine." Quinn's own hands were beginning to creep towards my shirt – I let her pull it off with a smile and laughed when her eyes widened, fingers suddenly running across my skin slowly and gently. As I let her caress me my head fell back and I gazed upside down at the area I'd been staring at before.

The boy had gone.

Maybe I'd imagined him. Maybe there was something in this drink that made you see stuff – hash or something. Was it possible to put hash in a drink? I knew you could put it in cakes…

"Puck!" I shouted over probably my closest friend – the football player strolled over and gave me a wink. He'd experienced first how hand how good Quinn was and we regularly shared stories of our conquests.

"Dude, what's up?"

"Did you see a guy standing over there before? The queer one?" We were both casually ignoring the fact that I was getting finger raped, Quinn letting out little adorable noises of approval as her hands got closer and closer to my pants.

"The one with the boots?"

"Yeah."

"That's Kurt Hummel." Kurt. I'd never heard that name before.

"He's Finn's step-brother."

"_What_?" My eyes widened and Quinn almost stopped moving. "He goes to McKinley?"

"No. Some dumb-ass boarding school. Deerton or something. He only comes back for holidays." My eyebrows furrowed. How had I never heard about this? I knew Puck and Finn were kind of friends, but I knew all the gossip around these parts. Nothing got past me. And _this_…this was important gossip.

"What is he doing at this party?" I wanted to know who had invited him. Who had given him permission to be there and just… make me feel weird.

"No idea bro. He probably invited himself." Puck shrugged his shoulders and I nodded in agreement, before he was suddenly called over to down a pint and I sighed leaning back into the sofa so Quinn moved herself on top of me, straddling me with her legs.

"I have you all to myself now." She murmured, running her palms all the way down my chest and back up again, a sexy smile spreading across her face. I grinned back.

"You do indeed."

* * *

><p>"SPIN THE BOTTLE!" It was an hour later. Everyone was a lot more drunk, including me. The reserve kicker Sam Evans had picked up a newly finished beer bottle and held it in the air, shouting the immortal words that had sent everyone crashing to the living room floor in what couldn't really be described as a circle. Quinn had pulled me over and draped herself across my lap – we'd been getting pretty frisky but hadn't really gone much past 2nd base. To be honest I was getting rather agitated.<p>

"Everyone ready!" A chorus of yes went around the room. I noticed Rachel sitting across the circle from me, her eyes trained in a dreamy gaze on Finn who was a few people away to my right. How the hell she had managed to get into this party I had no idea. Maybe she was Finn's relative too. Actually, that was gross. Rory sat next to me and gave me a hearty pat on the shoulder, which I smiled weakly at before looking away. Puck was the other side of Quinn and pulled her up, laughing as she clawed at my shoulder.

"Come on baby, you need to sit up straight so we can determine between you and your boyfriend for seven minutes in heaven."

"Seven minutes in heaven?" Just as I asked the question the words were repeated much louder by Sam, everyone cheered again and I shuffled forward into a better seated position. Seven minutes in heaven. I could deal with that. As long as I was with Quinn. Glancing to the side at my girlfriend I suddenly began to think of what would happen if I got her in that cupboard with me. Oh Jesus. She was drunk, which cancelled out some things, but just drunk enough to want to do crazy stuff. Fuck, the things I would do to her in that cupboard… Almost instantly I felt myself getting hard, covering myself up with my shirt as the bottle was placed in the centre of the circle and slowly beginning to pray to Jesus as it spun. Oh Lord, let me get Quinn, _please_ Quinn…

Round and round the glass went, passing past everyone several times, before slowly and surely coming to a stop. In front of me.

"Blaine!" Sam shouted out my name and I received another slap on the back from Rory. Well, the first part of my plan had been successful – maybe that bearded dude up in the sky really did work. He was obviously a hot-blooded male like I was. And right now we both wanted sex.

"Who's Blaine gonna get?"

"Spin! Spin!"

"I wouldn't mind seven minutes in heaven with him…" I never saw who that girl was, my eyes fixed on the bottle that would hopefully lead me to seven minutes of pure un-adulterated bliss. Sam placed the bottle on the floor again, paused and looked around the room for dramatic drunken effect, then spun it.

He'd really given it some oomph this time – the bottle seemed to spin for hours. Every eye was trained on it, but non as keenly as me. 'Quinn…Quinn…Quinn…' I muttered under my breath. I could almost feel her mouth on her neck right now, her fingers dipping down into my pants, unzipping them slowly…

"It's slowing!" The point moved towards Quinn – I held my breath but it passed her, passed me, carried on towards the other side of the circle. Oh God no. I hadn't actually thought of all the other people here. I didn't want anyone else. There were some hot girls here, but none as good in bed as Quinn. Keep going, you can make it…

The bottle travelled further, almost as if someone was blowing it. I think I was. Eventually though it ran out of steam, stopping right in front of…

Rachel.

* * *

><p>No<p>

No

No

This wasn't happening. Not Rachel. Anyone but her. She was so needy – she could squeeze the life out of a situation just by being there. True, she was obsessed with Finn, but this would probably be the spur she needed to transfer her affection to me. Fuck, I had to get out of this.

"Blaine! You and Rachel!" Puck slapped me on the shoulder, leaning over Quinn who had slumped down onto the floor. I didn't even try to help her, too preoccupied with my own state.

"Dude, _shut up_!" I said, my voice strained and hissing. My friend laughed, looking across at some of the other guys and I saw Finn smiling at me. I was going to murder him. Just for looking at me in that way. I would turn the whole football team against him.

"Get to it!" I was just about to be dragged to my feet, Rachel receiving the same treatment, when Sam held up his hand.

"Stop!" Immediately everyone froze. We all looked at him to see his face stretched into a wide grin. What did that little fucker want now.

"Look at the bottle." Every eye moved to stare at the glass, still in the same position. Well done dumbass. Had he only just realised it had stopped?

"What's your point jackass?" Puck replied, obviously wanting to get my torturing underway. Sam's grin widened.

"It's not pointing at Rachel." Oh thank _God_. I was saved. I didn't even care if it was or not. Now that had been said there was no way I was going through with it.

"Great. This whole shit is void." Everyone was too busy staring at the bottle to hear my comment, I went to leave and take Quinn with me but Puck grabbed hold of my shoulder, stopping me.

"He's right." What? What could possibly be happening now? These parties were lame – I didn't even know why I'd come.

"Who's it pointing at then?"

"Look." Puck raised his hand slowly and everyone followed it to see where it lead. Wanting to humour him I let my eyes scan in the direction of his finger, wondering if there was going to be a plant pot or something that he would find equally hilarious. Then my whole stomach dropped.

**No.**

* * *

><p>"No! No <em>freakin WAY!<em>" Immediately I stepped back, frantically trying to shake off Puck's hand, which was being annoyingly persistent. He laughed and I tried to look away from the scene that was unfolding in front of me. The scene I never ever wanted to see. That boy was there. That Kurt boy that was gay as gay and shouldn't even be at this goddamn party. He'd been sitting away from the circle, not wanting to play the game or not being invited, but somehow he was there in that gap between Rachel and some other girl and he was being pointed at and dragged to his feet. Oh no. I couldn't do this.

"Guys, seriously, this is _not cool_." Suddenly Rachel seemed very appealing. Rachel seemed like heaven. At least she was a girl. I wished Sam had never stood up and spoken those stupid words, I wished that I'd never sat down and played this freakin game. I could have sex with Quinn any time I wanted – why had I needed to validate it? The boner I'd had previously was now well and truly gone, replaced with a sickening feeling in my stomach that made me want to hurl. Fuck.

"Come on Blaine – the clock's ticking!" Puck tried to pull me towards the crowd of people again but I lashed out, hitting his arm wildly with my hand.

"Fuck you Puckerman."

"It's only 7 minutes!"

"I'm sure the gays don't bite!"

"You might enjoy it!" Oh God, everyone was joining in. They were ganging up on me, bearing down and grabbing various different parts of my body - pulling me towards the cupboard. This was not happening. Everyone loved me. They would never do this. Was this some kind of revenge for all the times I'd ignored them for something better? Had Finn set me up? I was going to murder anyone who got in my way. They would pay for this.

The cupboard was getting closer and nobody was helping me. The gay boy had already been shoved inside and he seemed to not be making any noise – I was kicking and screaming like hell. Why was everyone so on board with this? Were they suddenly pro-gay? We reached the entrance to the cupboard and I braced myself against the edges, not looking inside at the horror I was in the process of being subjected to.

"Guys fucking stop it! This isn't funny anymore I won't do it!" Where was Quinn? Where was _fucking Quinn_?

"It's time to man up Blainey-boy!" In one swift motion I felt the thud of a boot to the small of my back – the force took me by surprise and sent me jolting forward, tumbling into a selection of coats so my shout was muffled and the sound of laughter drowned out with a slamming door.

* * *

><p>The whole room went dark.<p>

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" Immediately I turned round, trying to feel my way through the blackness for a handle, reaching the wood of the door and banging my fists against it loudly.

"I HATE YOU! YOU'RE ALL DEAD! I'M GOING TO SLIT YOUR THROATS!" My voice was beginning to go hoarse and the sound of it made me even more angry. I could hear some sniggers from outside but nobody opened a door, nobody gave in. I was trapped.

Eventually my eyes began to adjust to the light and I felt my way to the ground again, shifting my body so it was pressed against the furthermost wall of the cupboard. My hands scrabbled to pull my shirt over my head and the coarse cotton rubbed against my face. I hadn't even looked to my right and I didn't want to. If I closed my eyes and waited long enough I might never have to look at him at all – then the door would open and I would kick everyone's ass. There was no sound from the other end and I didn't know if that was a good thing. He could be passed out for all I cared. I didn't care.

"This is ridiculous." I muttered to myself. "Fucking ridiculous." I had been monopolised by my own friends. Pressured into something. This was bullying. I would report them all to that stupid Bullywhip campaign thing and they would sort them out. Or I would sort them out myself. The anger coursing through my veins was almost making me shake, so I put my head between my knees and tried to start counting the seconds until I would be let out.

"Are you ok?" The voice pierced through the silence so I jumped, knocking my foot against the wall. It almost sounded like a girl had spoken but I knew it wasn't. There weren't any girls here.

"I'm fine. Just shut the hell up and we can get through this without talking." I still didn't lift my head, wanting to block out what was happening and still trying to frantically count numbers in my mind. I hadn't even got up to 60 yet. I expected to hear a reply but heeded nothing – eventually my curiosity got the better of me and I lifted my head to see Kurt staring back at me. His face was still exactly the same, porcelain white, and it looked even more so in the dim light he had conjured by turning on his phone. I didn't like his face, there was something strange about it. I didn't want to say it was beautiful because he was a boy, and there was nothing beautiful about boys. There was an annoying expression on it though – he looked worried. Worried for _me_.

"_What_?" The retort came out harsher than I'd meant it to, or maybe exactly how I had. Kurt shrunk backwards slightly but didn't seem put off. He glanced down at his phone to check the light and then returned his gaze to me, staring.

"Are you a homophobe?" The question caught me completely off guard. I let go of my legs and they fell with a thunk to the floor, making Kurt flinch again.

"What? Don't be stupid." Who did this guy think he was? He was accusing me before he even knew me.

"It's just you don't seem to like me very much." I laughed, a harsh laugh that echoed around the small room. Great. I'd said one thing about this guy and now he thought I was damning his whole race. Man, these gays were touchy.

"Yeah, I hate you. That's why I'm sitting here in a cupboard ten inches away."

"Well that's not exactly by choice."

"_Exactly_." God this guy was thick. I thought about knocking him out so I wouldn't have to face this conversation for the remaining five minutes, but figured it would be too hard to explain when I got out. Plus he was so small and fragile I could probably cause some serious damage. Kurt fell silent for a couple of seconds, bringing his knees up to his chest so I could see his long boots reflecting in the light. He rested his chin on one of them and my eyes fell upon the length of his eyelashes, fluttering slightly as he looked down at the ground. Then I realised what I was doing and quickly looked away.

* * *

><p>"Is that girl your girlfriend?" Once again the high-pitched voice spoke out, catching me by surprise for the second time.<p>

"Who? Quinn?"

"The girl you were kissing." Hah. _Kissing_. I don't think what we'd been doing could be described as simply kissing. I decided to humour him.

"Yes."

"Oh." Kurt looked slightly sad, and for a second the expression confused me. Then I realised.

"_Dude_. I'm straight. Stop trying to come onto me."

"I'm not."

"Yeah you are." These guys were all the same, jumping on anything that has a dick and moved. "You think I'm hot stuff." I decided that this was a fun route to go down, mercilessly teasing this boy. I'd been bullied by my so-called friends so I might as well bully him. Show him how it felt. Kurt looked hurt and a wide grin spread across my face.

"Do you want my cock?" I said as seductively as I could, shuffling forward and leaning over so my face was near his ear. "Do you want it in your mouth? I bet you do." He squirmed and I chuckled, marvelling at the way his fine muscles rippled across his defined back. "You want all of me, right now. But you won't get it."

"I saw you staring at me earlier." Suddenly I froze. My mouth drew back and I became guarded again.

"_What_?"

"Earlier. I came into the room and you were on the sofa with your girlfriend. You stared at me." Fuck. What was this guy talking about? How had he seen me? We hadn't even had eye contact.

"That's bullshit." I moved back to the other side of the room, not liking where the conversation was heading. This little fucker needed to shut his mouth right now.

"No it's not. I saw you." Kurt wasn't even smiling. He didn't seem vindicated by this information. He was just saying it.

"You're wrong. I was looking at something else."

"Then you asked Noah about me. Finn's friend." It took me a while to process the name Noah into my memory, before I remembered Puck's real name. Then my blood turned a few degrees closer to zero.

"Why did you do that?" I wasn't answering the question. I wasn't saying another fucking word until the seven minutes were up and I was out of this hellhole.

"I just wanted to know who you were." Fuck. I almost punched myself in the stomach. Kurt paused, seeming to ponder the insight he had just been given. I found myself glancing up at him again and realised he was rubbing at his neck slowly with the palm of his hand. Wow. That movement was almost…erotic.

"Do you like me?" The words sent me spinning back into reality. Kurt moved his gaze to look directly at me, his eyes suddenly piercing and questioning. I flattened myself up against the wall.

"Hell no. I'm straight. You're a guy. And you're weird." My eyes glanced towards the crack in the door, praying that somehow seven minutes had passed and I was about to be set free. Kurt continued to look at me, a curious look spreading across his face, and to my horror he suddenly began to move across the floor towards me.

"_Oh no_. Stay away! Stay _away_ from me you freak!" I scrambled frantically against the wall, realising I had nowhere to go but still trying to get away. Kurt advanced closer, travelling rather like a cat, and when he got to within touching distance of me stopped, sitting back down oh his haunches. He let us fall back into silence for a couple of seconds before cocking his head to the side and smiling.

"Have you ever kissed a boy before?"

* * *

><p>I was about to shout a reply – something along the lines of 'no freakin way', when suddenly Kurt placed his hand on my thigh and ran it slowly up. The feeling shot through me like electricity.<p>

"OhGod." I thought I sounded scared, but he didn't seem to flinch away, even when my arms flew out to smack against the wall. Why they weren't reaching out to wrench his hand off my leg I didn't know – it was still just sitting there. I think it was still moving.

"Would you like to kiss a boy?" He continued, moving his whole body a little bit closer so his hand also moved and I let out an embarrassing whimper. "Because I'll kiss you. If you want…" Every inch of my brain was screaming 'get me out'. My leg was close enough to the door to kick it, closer enough to alert everyone of what was happening and get me the hell away. But somehow I couldn't get it to move. Kurt took my silence as a cue to move forward and suddenly his face was inches from mine. I squirmed away but he brought up his other hand to gently catch my face. The first one was now resting on my inner thigh and the feeling of it was making me sweat.

"Blaine?" I didn't respond. The sound of his name on my lips sent an unknown feeling through me that made me shiver. How did her even know my name? "I'm going to kiss you now." His voice had taken on a whispery quality, one that caused my whole body to shake. "If you don't want me to do it, shake your head." As his thumb slowly caressed my cheekbone I fought every muscle in my body to move. I fought to shake my head, to tell him no and stop this whole complete mess of a thing that was happening. I couldn't move an inch. Kurt smiled, running the thumb down to rest under my ear, hooking the rest of his fingers under my chin so he could pull it up gently for a better angle. Then slowly, he opened his rose pink lips and moved them to press against mine.

* * *

><p>I don't know what I was expecting to feel. I guess half of me was expecting repulsion – after all, I was kissing a boy. Or he was kissing me. I'd always wondered if boys lips felt different to girls, and if it felt better for a girl to kiss us than it did to kiss them. What I wasn't expecting, however, was the emotion that coursed through me just as those boy lips touched mine.<p>

Want.

Without even realising it I exhaled, right into Kurt's mouth. His eyes widened in surprise and I tried to pull away, tried to tell myself that this was immoral and wrong and for heavens sake I was kissing a guy. But I couldn't. Kurt deepened the kiss slightly, gaining more confidence with my reaction and I responded, bringing my hand up to press lightly against the back of his neck. His hair was incredibly soft, and I almost got distracted by that until the hand on my face dug in and I realised he was climbing on top of me. Oh my God a boy was straddling me.

Once Kurt was in position he kissed me even deeper, pushing us both back so my head hit the wall with a soft thud. His other hand had moved to cup the opposite side of my face and as we kissed I felt his tongue poke against my teeth. Again the immoral senses were tingling, but to be honest I was way past that point by now. I let him in and groaned when I felt his tongue begin to explore. He tasted _amazing_. Like coffee and cinnamon with just a hint of bourbon. Quinn always tasted of chewing gum or whiskey. Or me. Again sensing my pleasure Kurt pressed his chest further into mine and I let my hands travel south, leaving his soft hair behind and moving down his spine, across his shoulders and resting in the small of his back. He seemed to like this, grinding against me and I moaned, causing him to do the same. Fuck. This was so hot it was driving me crazy. Somehow the fact that we were both guys didn't seem to do anything to quench the desire – both of us were horny as fuck and shit he was a good kisser. Shit he knew just how to touch me in all the right places, to push my buttons until I was practically begging for more. I _wanted_ more.

"Kurt" I breathed, causing me to break away and stare at me with those piercing eyes. Beautiful pools of blue.

"Yes?" He asked. I went to respond but instead ran my fingers down his chest, playing with the buttons on his shirt. His temporary frown turned into a smile and he kissed me again fervently, allowing me to undo the buttons but still grinding against me incessantly. I was so filled with lust I could barely move my fingers but eventually they popped open and I ran my hands across his skin, gasping at how good it felt.

"_Fuck_." Kurt moved to attend to my shirt and I let him, stroking him harder as his hands explored across me, my pelvis bucking up uncontrollably and my dick getting undeniably and painfully hard. This was all I ever wanted. I was drunk – I knew I was drunk – but somehow, despite everything, even with Quinn outside and a reputation to uphold, this just felt so right. Through all the bravado and cockiness I just wanted someone to make me feel alive. Someone to take me away from the world outside and just…be a fantasy. I was in heaven.

As Kurt delved his hand into my pants, neither of us were even thinking about the time. Neither of us noticed that seven minutes had indeed passed, or the sound of the door unlocking and slowly opening to reveal a crowd of drunken party-goers outside…


	2. The Fight

_Ok. Guys, I officially hate you all. I was all ready to start writing the sequel to You Do Or You Dalton. I was literally about to write the first words. Then I thought 'Oh, I'll just post this oneshot before while people wait'..._

_I have never had that many messages asking me to continue a oneshot in my life_

_So at first I resisted, because oneshots are oneshots for a reason and blah blah blah. But then the unthinkable happened. You guys pestered me so much I actually came up with an idea for a full length fic of this. And once the idea had been created - I couldn't not write it._

_So here it is - thanks to all your peer pressure I am now turning Straight into a multipchapter fic!_

_You should all be ashamed :D_

_Liz xxx_

_P.S. I don't actually hate you :D_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 2 - The Fight<strong>

As light suddenly entered the cupboard I didn't realise what was happening. Then Kurt bit down hard on my tongue and I screamed out in pain, then again when he grabbed my hands and smacked them up against the wall.

"_WOAH!_" All of a sudden there were voices everywhere, I turned my head to the side slightly and saw faces open mouthed, pointing at me.

Oh shit

_Oh SHIT_

They had seen. They had seen me making out with another guy. ANOTHER GUY. This was it. I was dead. My reputation was dead.

"That guy's raping Blaine!" I'd been about to shut my eyes – ready for the laughs to hit and whatever other shit was about to come my way. If I was going to go down – I wasn't going to see it happen. Then I heard Sam Evans speak and my eyes flashed open again. Kurt had frozen, looking at me in shock, as if he'd been caught stealing from a shop or something. His hands were still pressing mine up against the wall – I hadn't realised what it had meant but now I did. He wasn't…?

"Get off him!" Rory shouted out, stepping forward defensively and I snapped into action.

"Yeah! Get off me you freak!" I began struggling and several guys rushed forward to drag Kurt off me, throwing him to the other side of the cupboard like he was a piece of trash.

"Dude, what the fuck." Puck looked genuinely shocked, I wasn't sure what emotion was written across my face but I hoped it was the right one.

"He just fucking _attacked _me! I didn't know what to do!" My voice was trembling slightly and it worked in my favour – Rory rushed to grab my shirt and I immediately pulled it over my head, staggering away from the cupboard where Kurt was currently getting lynched.

"Dude your brother's a FREAK!" I shouted at Finn, who was a few metres away looking appalled. "A FUCKING FREAK!"

"I dunno – it sounded like you liked it." He replied back calmly. A sharp stab of panic ripped through me but I was so caught up in my pretend rage that it didn't show.

"That wasn't me – that was your fucking fag brother! Why were you listening anyway?"

"Yeah, you were awful close to that door dude." Puck chimed in. "Are you a homo too?" Suddenly the attention was on Finn and I was free. I staggered out of the room, not even bothering to look where Quinn was. She was probably passed out in the bathroom somewhere but right now I didn't give a shit. I needed to get out.

* * *

><p>The air outside was cold and it sent a chill right down my spine. I began to run down the street, not looking behind me to see if anyone was following. When I reached my house I fumbled around in my pocket for my keys and ran up the stairs without greeting anyone. The door to my room slammed behind me and I slumped down to the floor, my head in my hands.<p>

What the fuck had just happened.

I had gone to the party. I hadn't been that drunk. I hadn't taken anything. Everything had been fine. Until that stupid Kurt had shown up. Suddenly, without even realising I'd picked it up, my doorstop went flying across the room, hitting my bedside lamp and knocking it down onto the floor with a crash. I heard noise from downstairs but nobody came up. I did this kind of thing all the time so it wasn't unusual. My fingers ran down my face, scratching at it so I cried out in pain and sheer frustration. That DAMN boy. I hated him. I hated him for making me feel like this. With his stupid hair and his stupid clothes and his stupid _everything_. Not even the fact that he had basically saved my skin, was probably getting the shit kicked out of him right about now because of it, dispelled my anger. This was not me. I was straight. I did NOT get attracted to boys.

I felt something pricking in my eyelids and realised in horror they were tears. Immediately I lashed out, smacking the floor with my hands and then the door. I was _not_ crying. That was a faggy thing to do. My hands transferred their anger to myself and suddenly I was hitting at my legs and chest – trying to beat the feelings out of me. The pain made me cry harder so I hit more violently, until eventually it was so much that I collapsed onto the floor, exhausted.

* * *

><p>When I awoke the next morning I was still on the floor. My back hurt from the slumped position but I fought through the pain and hauled myself to my feet. The remains of my lamp were still scattered by the side of my bed but I walked over it to get to my closet, the ceramic crunching under my feet.<p>

* * *

><p>School was rife with talk already. As I pulled up in the parking lot I saw a crowd of juniors already waiting for me, all talking to each other in hushed tones even though I couldn't hear them through the windows of my Jeep. When I stepped up one of the girls, Sugar Motta, ran up to me, a concerned look on her face.<p>

"Oh Blaine! Are you ok?" Her hand immediately flew up to my forehead pressing against it, almost as if she was checking for a temperature. I had to admit, I probably looked a bit rough, but not _that_ bad.

"I'm fine sweetie." I put on my normal tone that I used for these kind of girls – the ones that pined after me like sad little puppies and would probably walk off a cliff if I asked them to. Sugar tutted, like she didn't believe me, and stroked at my hair with her fingers, before other girls came over and she brought it down to rest lightly on my upper chest.

"Blaine!" They all cried, looking equally as concerned. Honestly – it was like someone in my family had died – not that I'd been attacked at a party. Or, everyone _thought_ I'd been attacked.

"How are you?"

"I can't believe what that boy did to you."

"He is an awful awful person." As they babbled incessantly around me, the high pitch of their chatter giving me a headache, I scanned my head around the parking lot until I completely cut them off mid flow.

"Where's Quinn?"

"Oh, she's at the front. She wants to see you." Well wasn't that charming. I was the one that had been attacked and yet _I_ had to go find my own girlfriend. Wow – I was starting to believe my own hype now. Nodding in thanks but not offering anything else I pushed through the crowds, walking briskly over to the front of the school building. The weather was pretty chilly and I pulled my jacket in closer, shivering slightly.

* * *

><p>When I saw Quinn she was leant up against a pillar, looking slightly worse for wear. She was obviously hanging badly, but when she saw me her mouth instantly opened in shock and she rushed over. Her whole body jumped onto me and she wrapped her arms around my torso.<p>

"Blaine! Oh my God Blaine are you ok?" Her nose dug into my neck and it prodded slightly, but I brought my hand up to stroke at her hair.

"Yeah." Quinn pulled away and her eyes surveyed my closely, also not believing me.

"Baby, you got attacked by some awful gay boy and you're just _fine_? He had his hands all over you!"

"Where did you find that out?"

"_Everyone_ is talking about it! And I wasn't even there to help! I should have been there!" Suddenly she started to get emotional, tears brimming in her eyes and her fingers clawing at my sides. I was more than a little shocked, drawing back slightly, but I managed not to let it show too much.

"Hey. It's ok. You were passed out drunk by then anyway." I knew I was being blunt and probably insensitive, but I didn't care. To be honest Quinn should have been there, or rather she should have been sitting next to Rachel Berry. Oh God Rachel was probably loving this gossip – anything to get her in with the cool crowd. I wondered what people were saying to Finn and if he'd lost any more of his waning popularity, suddenly smiling.

"Blaine? Why are you smiling? This isn't funny." I looked back down at Quinn, squeezing her ass lightly and making my face serious again.

"Sorry, I was thinking about something else."

* * *

><p>As Quinn and I walked down the corridor, everyone was looking at us. This wasn't unusual – as the most popular kids in school there were many that would stop and stare, most in lust or admiration – but I pulled my arm a little tighter around her, almost as if I was also hiding the secret that nobody else knew. When we saw Puck at the end of the corridor I raised my hand in greeting and he jogged over, slapping it.<p>

"'Sup man." I said causally, taking my arm away from Quinn's shoulders to begin fiddling with my locker.

"Are you-?"

"-Dude – if anyone asks me one more time whether I am ok I am seriously gonna punch them in the face." Puck immediately closed his mouth and I smiled, opening the locker door and beginning to take my books out. "Why does everybody know anyway?"

"_Dude_." Now it was his turn to look disdainful. "You're _Blaine Anderson_. Everybody wants to know everything about you." I shrugged, grinning again and signalled for Quinn to go get her things. She didn't seem to want to leave my side, her hand gripping on tightly to my bicep and I rolled my eyes, shuffling over slightly.

"You know there are a group of guys planning to track that Kurt guy down and beat the shit out of him?" As Puck followed us and spoke again, I faltered slightly. Beat the shit out of him?

"I thought they already did that at the party?"

"Nah. Finn stepped in. Little pussy. Maybe they've got some incestuous thing going on." I shivered, but only partly at that thought. The guys at this school could do whatever the hell they wanted – I didn't care. But did I really want Kurt to get beaten up?

"You do want that kid to pay, don't you?" I felt Puck's stare and began to sweat slightly.

"Well, yeah…but…" Suddenly he seemed to realise something.

"Ah. You wanna do it yourself. I'm sure we could sort that out." I went to protest (although I didn't know exactly how I would have) but Quinn shut her locker door defiantly and then stood up on her toes, craning her neck for a kiss. I obliged and by the time we were finished the conversation was over.

"Shall we go to class?"

"Yeah."

* * *

><p>It was like that for the rest of the day. I was bombarded with questions – treated like a hero. I was pretty sure the story had grown to such a proportion that Kurt had apparently gagged me and was about to get his dick out when I was saved. I couldn't say that story pleased me, but it brought everyone further away from the truth, and God knows I was happy for that.<p>

When the bell rang for the end of school I emerged with my friends, Puck and Quinn either side and people like Rory trailing hopelessly behind. We'd decided to drive to Wendy's so I jumped in my Jeep with Quinn riding shotgun and we sped off, leaving the school building behind.

* * *

><p>As I pulled up outside the diner I stretched out, still slightly aching from my rough nights sleep. Quinn stared hungrily at the expanse of skin round my stomach that was exposed and suddenly I felt hands on it, running along in a way that made me groan. Dammit – <em>why<em> had I agreed to eating. Quinn and I hadn't had sex in a while and I was still pretty horny.

"Do you wanna stay in here?" She whispered in my ear, almost reading my mind, and I was about to agree and pull her onto me when Puck hollered from outside the car and I groaned, letting my whole body flop back down. Fuck you Puckerman.

As we sat in the diner, me picking at the fries that Quinn had bought for me and her feeding me one every so often, an adorable little smile on her face, I wondered if I should even be bothered about the events of the party at all. So what I'd made out with a guy and kind of enjoyed it – I'd been drunk. People did all kinds of weird shit when they were drunk – that didn't mean they meant it. Kurt sounded so much like a girl that I'd probably thought he was one. Who knows – maybe he had even planned the whole thing himself. He could have been obsessed with me and someone spiked my drink, then he could have talked with Sam and set the whole thing up so he could try and rape me. Maybe he hadn't even saved my skin at all. I nodded at my own theory, starting to really believe it, and when Quinn fed me another chip and I turned to look at her face the belief strengthened. Look at her. She was a freaking sex kitten. If I were gay, then why would she make me feel like this? Get me this hot and make me so goddamn hard all the time? I was the luckiest bastard in the goddamn world, and she was the luckiest girl. I wasn't going to let some party and some fag ruin it all.

* * *

><p>We hung around in the diner for quite a while – Puck making disgusting jokes about the English teacher Miss Corcoran and me insulting his hair and general appearance. The party was barely mentioned at all. When we finally got bored and the waitress looked like she wanted to chuck us out we strolled through the automatic doors, feeling on top of the world.<p>

Then I stopped.

There, across the other side of the parking lot, was Finn. Finn and his motley crew of half followers. And Kurt was with them.

"No way." My eyes immediately tracked back to Puck, who had his mouth open. Quinn's grip on my arm had tightened and she looked like a lion ready to pounce.

"They are _not_ on our turf."

"With _him_." Quinn spat the word. Both of them looked livid. Fear ripped through me and I realised what was coming next.

"Guys!" Before I could say anything Puck began to march across the tarmac, I quickly followed and Quinn ran beside me, obviously taking my speed for something else. Finn spotted us pretty quickly and got his whole crew to stand their ground – not running away, just staying there, waiting for us. For once I wanted him to be chicken.

"HEY!" Once we were within shouting distance Puck spoke out, his tone harsh and threatening. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"It's a free country." Finn replied, making my blood boil even though there were a million other things currently on my mind. Kurt was standing next to his stepbrother, almost cowering behind him. His eyes met mine for a brief second and I instantly looked away.

"It's not a free country for rapists." As Puck lifted his hand up to point at the boy I cringed inside, but hid it well, standing up tall and trying to look powerful.

"Dude, he didn't even rape him!"

"He might as well. He needs to be taught a lesson." Suddenly my friend stepped forward and immediately three of Finn's cronies mirrored it. It was interesting how they all stepped in front of Kurt – like he was something worth protecting.

"Puck, _back off_." Finn said, looking fierce. Since when was he Mr Righteous? Before I'd taken over he'd been more than happy to toss people in the dumpsters just like us. I saw my friend's fist clench, ready to take on all three of the guys. They outnumbered us but if I joined in we were more than a match for them.

"Blaine?" I found eyes on me and realised I was the deciding vote. I was the choice between whether we left this, or beat the shit out of every one of them. I stared at Finn and realised he was cruising for a fight. He'd been wanting to do this for a while.

"I want to talk to him. _Alone_." Suddenly everyone turned to look at Kurt. His eyes had widened, surprised. I kept my face stern and looked just to the right of his head, making it seem like I had eye contact.

"…But…" Puck seemed disappointed – he'd been convinced I would be game. Finn also seemed wary.

"No way man. This needs to be settled here and now."

"It will be. It isn't your fight anyway. You game?" The question was directed at Kurt but I still didn't look at him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him nod his head, prompting a loud sigh from Finn and all the other guys to step back.

"If any of you fuckers follow me I will knock you out." I threatened, glaring at them as I walked past. I looked briefly at Puck to show he shouldn't follow too and he held Quinn close, even though she looked even less pleased. Kurt and I walked a hundred metres or so, neither of us looking at each other and about a metre's space between us.

* * *

><p>When we reached a safe point round a corner I finally looked to my left, wanting to get this done as soon as possible.<p>

"If you tell anyone what happened I will kill you." Kurt's eyes widened in shock. I wondered if my choice of words had been harsh, but then realised I didn't care. I had to get the message across.

"Blaine…"

"Don't call me that." The fact he knew my name still sent a sickly feeling running through me.

"I won't tell anyone."

"Good." I thought about ending the conversation there, looking behind to check nobody had followed before Kurt spoke again.

"Are you going to thank me?" I glanced back.

"For what?"

"For saving your skin!"

"No." What did he want? A medal?

"Why not?" I laughed.

"Because _this_ never happened. _We_ never happened." I gestured frantically between the two of us, wanting to make it completely clear. "I was drunk and you took advantage of me. I didn't enjoy it and I am _not_ gay." Kurt smiled, almost as if he knew some private joke. The anger boiled inside of me and I nearly lashed out. "You need to stay away from me."

"What?"

"I don't want you anywhere near me. Ever." Kurt looked surprised, almost sad. The sickening feeling spread to my gut and began to pool.

"But…"

"Shut up. You're an idiot. A fucking idiot. Now I don't want to hurt you, but if it doesn't look like I beat you up then people are gonna get suspicious. So I'm gonna punch you." Without giving him any time to react to my warning I let my hand swing out, hitting him square on the jaw. Kurt cried out in pain but I blocked out the sound, trying to pretend it hadn't happened, that I hadn't heard. Normally hitting people made me feel good about myself, made me feel strong. Now I just felt sad.

"Stay away from me." I repeated, leaving him slumped against the wall and walking back off to the parking lot.

* * *

><p>When I re-emerged Puck clapped his hands, obviously realising what had happened. Finn ran past me and I smiled as Quinn threw her arms around me.<p>

"You did it baby" When Finn emerged dragging a half-concussed Kurt behind him my grin widened, happy that normality had finally been restored.

"Make sure you remind him to stay the hell away from me." I shouted, almost in celebration. Finn clenched his fist, anger rising inside of him as Kurt slumped helplessly over his shoulder, blood dripping from his mouth.

"Yeah, tell him to take his queerness somewhere else!"

"Glad I never have to see that fucker ever again." Puck, Quinn and I turned to leave, our work seemingly done, when suddenly Finn said something that made my blood turned cold.

"You're gonna be seeing a lot more of him you coward!"

"_What_?" Immediately I spun round, my whole face dropping.

"Yeah! You heard me! Kurt's transferring!" Suddenly, even though he was barely conscious, Kurt tried to speak, pawing his hand against Finn's arm.

"No…don't…" What was he saying? What was happening?

"You better be fucking joking." I said warningly, ready for all hell to break loose of he was.

"I'm not! Kurt's coming to McKinley!"

_Oh_

_Fuck_


	3. The Transfer

**Chapter 3 - The Transfer**

The next day there was a new hot story around school.

It was everywhere. Not a single person wasn't talking about it. Every corner I turned, every classroom I went into, every goddamn second that passed I was reminded of the hell on earth that had decided to hit me, right in the face.

Kurt was transferring.

Why? Why was this happening to me? He was supposed to be at that school – the private school for fags where they all wore matching blazers and fucked each other between classes. He was supposed to be as far away from me as physically possible. Why was he suddenly _here_? My head felt like it was spinning, unable to process the information. Obviously people would be on my side – with any luck he would get bullied so bad he'd bail within a day and I'd never see him again. But even that one day was too much. Just seeing him reminded me of everything, everything I tried to hide away and made me sick to my stomach.

This wasn't happening.

* * *

><p>"Baby?" We were sitting in the cafeteria, me leaning up against the wall with my thumb and index finger pressed against my forehead and Quinn snuggled up beside me. Puck was opposite and Rory was doing a sterling job or keeping everybody else away – even though I didn't particularly want him there either.<p>

"Baby?" I saw a chip being held up to my mouth and waved it away, prompting Quinn to sulk and fold her arms. "You're no fun." Couldn't she _see_ this wasn't the time for games? I was currently undergoing a crisis – one that was not helped by stupid people. Suddenly I felt a hand on my leg and realised she was going down a different track – I tried to ignore it but when she went straight to grab my crotch my whole body jerked, sending the table and everything on it several centimetres into the air,

"Fuck!" Quinn giggled, a mischievous look on her face, and I glanced towards Puck, who had his eyes wide open. 'Take it' he seemed to say 'it's a free feel up'. Surprisingly I wasn't in the mood.

"Give it a rest Quinn." As I stood up, everyone else on the table protested, Quinn grabbing hold of my arm and Puck looking at me incredulously. I ignored them all, grabbing my things and marching off, also disregarding the stares I received from pretty much everyone as I exited the room.

* * *

><p>The front door was stiff to open, as per usual. We really needed to get that piece of shit fixed, or replaced. When I finally got inside the TV was on, but there was nobody in the living room. I kicked off my shoes, slinging my coat on the hook and making my way up the stairs to my room. There were five missed calls on my phone but I wasn't going to answer them.<p>

"Blaine!" When I heard the familiar voice my heart sank. I pushed the door to my room open and saw Dad standing by my bed, his face red with anger.

"_What_, is this?" Oh Dad, I would have thought by now you would have realised.

"It's my lamp." We both looked down at the remains of the object, still scattered about on my floor from two nights before.

"And _why_ is it broken?" Dad kicked a piece of the ceramic, sending it flying across the floor towards me and hitting against the wall, leaving a tiny mark.

"It fell." We always argued about this. Always a different topic, but always the same theme.

"Well don't you _think_ it might have been a good idea to _clean it up_?" I sighed, walking over to my bed and dropping my bag down onto it. Dad reached out a hand to send it flying and I looked up at him, annoyed. "You listen to me son!"

"Oh yeah, because you listen to me real good."

"If Simone comes in here and sees _this_ – what's she going to think of us? What's she going to think?"

"That we're slobs." It was true. Ever since Mum had died, Dad and I hadn't really coped. We'd got by, and the inheritance had kept the cash flowing nicely. We weren't exactly living in poverty. But it wasn't the same. Dad didn't adapt well to being a single parent and I didn't adapt well to him not adapting. Plus this Simone of his was a witch. Or I thought so anyway.

"She's gonna think that we're not the kind of people she wants to associate with!" Well that suited me fine. That suited me fine and dandy. I sat down on my bed, stretching my feet out and my arms behind my head. Dad didn't like this.

"Blaine Everett Anderson you clean this mess up _RIGHT NOW_ or-!"

"-Ok ok! I'll clean the goddamn lamp up! _Chill!_" My response didn't exactly calm the mood – I could tell Dad was ready to punch a hole in the wall. But he didn't. He breathed deeply for a couple of seconds, probably counting to ten in his head, before leaving the room without another word. When the door closed behind him I let my hands fall onto my face, rolling over and pressing them into the mattress.

* * *

><p>The next day was it. I was surprised at how quickly it had happened – I figured it normally took weeks for a transfer to be approved. The Hudson-Hummel's could have been planning this before though and we'd only just heard about it now. Apparently the story was that Mr Hummel's tyre business had been doing badly, so they'd run out of money for the private school. Kurt was joining Finn, and unbeknown to his parents – he was joining a world of pain reserved especially for his person only.<p>

I heard about his arrival before I even saw him. There were jocks talking about how they'd found his locker, broken it open and stolen things from it – written 'fag' all over the front in spray paint. Every act of bullying was reported to me – almost as if they were doing it especially for me, to avenge my name. I smiled at their stories but didn't repeat them to anyone else.

The first time I saw Kurt in the corridor the whole place went silent. Every eye was on me, waiting to see my reaction. My gut began to twist as I looked at that same porcelain face - the one that bathed in hazy party light had looked quite radient. He looked questioning too, tense for my response. Turning my gaze away to the centre of the corridor I walked steadily towards Quinn, who was waiting for me at the other end of the stretch and had forgiven me for my frostiness the day before. When I reached her she twined her arms around my neck and I grabbed hold of her hips, pulling her in for a kiss that I knew would have everyone reeling. After that Kurt wasn't really mentioned around me at all.

* * *

><p>Trig class was the bane of my life. I never understood why math was important. So what you added a few numbers together – I could do that just as easily at a party counting alcohol units. I didn't see the point of learning about it at school and I <em>certainly<em> didn't see the point of trig. As a result I barely did any work in such a lesson.

"Everybody turn to page fifteen." As the flurry of pages filled the classroom I leant back in my chair and surveyed the classroom. Quinn didn't take trig, but there was still a whole lot of eye candy to amuse myself with. That Brittany girl on the front row had the most amazing ass I'd ever seen. Rachel Berry was also in this class, and she liked to shoot me disgusted looks every time she caught me perving on another girl – but nobody in this class loved to degrade me more than Mrs Homeric.

"Blaine, are you planning on doing any work today?" I glanced up from the perfect behind of Miss Pierce to see thin brown eyes staring at me, framed by horn-rimmed glasses. Our teacher was in her late forties and certainly not a looker. A wide grin spread across my face.

"I'll do some work when it's actually interesting." A few titters ran around the classroom. Mrs Homeric's eyebrows furrowed, making her look even more hideous than before.

"Charming. I'll deal with you later." Surprised that I'd managed to survive unscathed, I grinned further, returning my gaze to its original target, It had been nearly four days since the arrival of Kurt Hummel at McKinley. Apparently he was some kind of child genius so we had no classes together – him taking all the AP ones. As well as that – he'd pretty much been ostracised by the whole school. Nobody wanted to sit with him at lunch so he went somewhere else and pretty much the only time I ever saw him was a fleeting meeting in the corridor, which normally ended with Quinn and I locking lips. On that front I was _glad_ to see him. The apparent worry I'd faced over his transfer seemed like a distant memory now, something I occasionally laughed about to myself while I continued to rule the halls of McKinley. Things were back to normal and they were great.

"My Anderson?" I jerked to attention out of my thought daydream. Apparently everyone had started their work, and now Mrs Homeric was standing right in front of my desk. The smell of her old-fashioned perfume wafted over me and I wrinkled my nose in disgust.

"Would you like to please explain to me why you have not turned to page fifteen?" She was going with the patronising route, so I decided to follow.

"_Well_." I began, dropping my feet down from the table but still staying slouched. "Like I said _before_ Miss Homeric – I'll do the work when it's actually interesting."

"And what exactly is it that you don't find interesting about trigonometry?" Oh the reasons…

"Well it's taught by hags for a start." Instantly the sound of Rachel gasping echoed around the room. Mike Chang, who was sitting next to me, had a grin across his face the length of route 66 and I knew I was in some deep shit now. Mrs Homeric's expression fell. I could tell she was desperately trying to stay calm – following all those behaviour management classes she'd no doubt gone through in her training. Her face was trembling, slowly turning a deeper and deeper shade of red. I watched the change with interest – waiting for the moment when she would explode all over the classroom walls.

"Principals office. NOW."

* * *

><p>Figgins wasn't surprised to see me there. He rolled his eyes, sighed several times, told me how disappointed he was to be speaking to me yet again. I gave him the number of my father that I knew he never used and strolled out of the office with another slip to add to my collection.<p>

* * *

><p>"You got detention?" Quinn seemed upset. I shrugged my shoulders, pulling my bag up onto my shoulder as we walked through the corridor.<p>

"Yeah. You should have got one with me."

"But I didn't know!"

"Then you should do trig." As she pouted I grinned, stopping by the door to the detention room.

"Do you want me to wait for you?"

"Nah, I might be a while. But we'll meet up after?"

"Yeah. Call me."

"I will." As Quinn leant forward I let her push me back into the wall. Her tongue exploring my mouth and her hands drifting all across my body. I wondered what the penalty was for skipping detention and realised it probably wasn't worth it. If Figgins became any more than vaguely interested in me he might realise his calls weren't getting through to my Dad.

"Love you baby."

"See you later." I watched her walk away, wolf whistling loudly, before turning to the door and opening it with a grin.

* * *

><p>There were the usual suspects in detention. Brett McKenzie, Matt Harper, Dean Springfield (I swear just the way he dressed put him in an automatic detention every day). They all greeted me with the customary nod of the head and I obliged, happy that they were as apathetic with me as I was with them. What I didn't expect to see though, was the figure perched across the other side of the classroom, at least two desks from anyone else.<p>

"Kurt?" My self-arrogance over the whole situation had made me feel it was easy enough to address him now – the boy turned round and my suspicion was confirmed. Wow. What was he in here for? I could only imagine it was some bullying related incident, and magically the actual perpetrators had escaped scott free. Not saying anything else I sat down at a desk on the back row, not associating with the other people in the room but still leaving him completely on his own. The teacher arrived in the classroom and Kurt turned back to look at his notebook.

* * *

><p>As we worked I found myself studying the boy in front of me. He was definitely working hard, much harder than we all were – so I guessed his detention must not have been his fault. When you looked really closely at his features he really was very feminine – if he dressed in drag you probably wouldn't have been able to tell the difference. This fact made it even more salient in my mind that I'd mistaken him for a girl that night – that my desire had been nothing towards the male race – but towards girls and sex entirely. Kurt Hummel had no effect on me now. I watched him scribble words across his notebook and wondered what he was writing – in comparison to what was on my page it was probably a novel. I also noticed faint bruises across his neck and shoulders. Hmmm. It seemed no matter how hard you knocked some people down, they just kept on coming back up.<p>

* * *

><p>And hour later and we were finally dismissed. The rest of the boys all grabbed their stuff and ran instantly, but as I'd been developing a game where I catapulted little scrunched up pieces of paper across the room, as close to the teacher's desk as possible without getting caught, I took slightly longer to pack up. Kurt was also taking a while, but I left him behind and waltzed off into the corridor solo.<p>

Now, when to call Quinn? Going home didn't seem like the best option right now – I was pretty sure Simone came over on Tuesdays and I wasn't up for that after a detention at all. Maybe I would just head straight over to hers. I was so immersed in my thoughts that I didn't hear the voice call out my name until the second time round.

"Blaine!" Spinning around I noticed Kurt running towards me and felt my eyebrows furrow. What did he want.

"You dropped this." Once he was close enough to converse properly he held out something in his hand. I looked down apathetically, before a laugh escaped from my lips. It was my work from the session.

"Er, I don't need it." Kurt looked confused.

"But…it's your work." I laughed again.

"Didn't you _see_ what I was doing the whole session?" I suppose he hadn't. He'd actually been doing something instead of fucking around. But I was pretty sure he'd noticed the bits of paper flying everywhere. Not thinking this needed any more expanding on I turned back round to continue walking down the corridor, ending the conversation. I expected Kurt to leave it at that, but annoyingly, he followed, speeding up so he could walk next to me.

"What were you in there for?" Oh Christ. he wanted to talk.

"Just the usual." I replied a monotonously as possible, not averting my gaze from its forward position.

"And what's that?" I didn't reply.

"I got it for stepping on the shoes of some hockey guy." Hmmm, I'd guessed right - unfair justice it was. Still ignoring him I walked a couple more steps, but he still wouldn't leave me alone.

"Blaine." He suddenly said, making me shiver again at the sound of my name on his lips.

"What." I was beginning to lose my patience.

"Can I ask you something?" Ergh. Maybe if I just spoke to him properly this one time he would finally leave me alone for good. We'd managed fine this far.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Go ahead.

"Did you feel anything when you kissed me?"

I stopped.

"No." The response came out of my mouth instantly, like a reflex. Kurt cocked his head to the side.

"Nothing at all?"

"No. And it was you that kissed me anyway." Damn. That comeback was too late. I hadn't thought quickly enough. Suddenly the feeling of Kurt's eyes on me made me begin to sweat, I started walking again, trying to get away, but he followed me, keeping up with my speed.

"Are you sure?" Go away you fucker. Didn't me punching your face give you an indication that I didn't want to talk about this? I sped up but Kurt stayed with me. My heart was beginning to pound and I was very tempted to run.

"Blaine?" Finally I cracked. I spun round, ready to give him a piece of my mind, but suddenly felt hands on my shoulders. Before I could react I was being pushed backwards.

"Hey! Get off me!" My hands fought to release the grip but Kurt was surprisingly strong. There was a determined look on his face and I realised in horror that we were heading away from the entrance to the school. We moved down the corridor at an alarming rate, turning a corner until we reached a dead end, hidden from view. Then without another word, I was shoved up against the wall and Kurt kissed me.

* * *

><p>Immediately I called out, trying to stop what was happening. Kurt forced his mouth over mine to muffle out the sound and his hands pressed against the wall, stopping me from struggling. Ok, this was definitely rape. For a second the only thing that crossed my mind was fear. Pure, blind fear. Then, to my complete horror and desperation, as his lips worked their way into a better position – that other feeling came back. <em>Want.<em>

Sensing the change, Kurt relaxed his grip on me a little. His hands slid down the wall slowly and his chest moved to sit flush against mine, pressing down only slightly. His kisses moved from forceful to deep and as I felt his tongue licking against my teeth I knew there was no alcohol involved this time. I knew exactly who I was kissing and what sex they were. I had to stop this. But I couldn't.

Kurt groaned when I let him in, the sound sending vibrations through me that drove me wild. As his tongue explored my mouth I got that amazing taste again, the coffee and cinnamon that was like nothing I'd ever experienced. My hands moved from their limp position by my sides to thread into his hair and push him closer, wanting to surround myself in that feeling and never let it go. Now that my hands were on him Kurt allowed himself to touch me too, running them down my sides to my hips and then, completely surprisingly, grabbing my ass.

"Mmmpnh!" He laughed, another sound that sent my whole body tingling, and then ground up against me, making my eyes roll to the back of my head. _Fuck_. This was so wrong. This was so so wrong.

This was wrong.

* * *

><p>In an instant I broke away. Kurt whimpered in disappointment and the sound seemed to only confirm what had just happened. What had happened <em>again<em>.

"Oh God." My hands flew up to my head, horror written across my face. I slid down the wall to a crouched position and Kurt followed me, also sitting on his haunches.

"Blaine?" He reached out a comforting hand but I smacked it away, now feeling anger bubble inside me.

"You did this! You forced me again!" My voice was desperate, trying not to think about how I'd just acted, the feelings I'd experienced completely aware and sober. Kurt's face broke into a sympathetic grimace.

"I don't think I forced you. Well, maybe at the start." _Fuck_. This was not happening.

"I _told you_ to stay _away_ from me!" Why couldn't he have listened? Why couldn't he have just stayed the fuck away? _Why_ did he have to do this?

"I'm sorry, I couldn't." Unable to listen to any more I buried my head in my knees, trying to block out everything. My closed eyes dug into the fabric of my jeans and I groaned loudly in anguish. Suddenly I felt a hand on my head, stroking my hair and I waved my arm about aimlessly to try and get it to stop.

"Go away."

"I'm not going anywhere." Sighing deeply I stayed in that same position, hoping that eventually Kurt would get bored and leave. When I ran out of patience and looked up though, he was still there.

"Why are you still here?" My voice was half angry, half apathetic. Kurt gave me a half smile and ran his fingers gently up my leg.

"I told you – I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't want you here."

"Yes you do." He was right. I did. Right now, despite all the turmoil I was currently feeling, the only thing I could think about was how nice his fingers felt across me. God damnit. Immediately I went to re-bury my head, but Kurt caught my chin with his other hand and kept it up.

"I think we both know that you like this." He continued, still moving his fingers, almost like a distraction to what he was actually saying. "And I like it too. So what are we going to do about it?" I sighed.

"Nothing." There wasn't anything that could be done about it. I was straight, I wasn't _supposed_ to like this kind of thing. "I can't…" Kurt suddenly looked sad, and for a second all I wanted to do was comfort him. But then I straightened up and began to think. It was basically social suicide for Kurt and I to do anything. If anyone found out we were toast – completely toast – and my career as top dog of the school was over. But if I tried to push this away and Kurt was persistent, there was a much higher chance of something like this happening again. Somewhere _publicly_.

"Maybe…" I saw Kurt's ears prick up but he still looked defeated. "…Maybe if we, I don't know, get rid of our _urges_ somewhere private…we might get over this." I watched the boy's mouth drop. Well he certainly hadn't expected to hear that. To be honest I couldn't believe I'd said it myself. I was basically pimping myself out to a boy. But it was for the right reasons. I was pretty sure this was a phase, and once Kurt and I had _done stuff_ enough I would probably get over it. Maybe I was just bored of sex with Quinn and wanted something else.

"So…" Kurt still hadn't said anything, his mouth formed into a perfect little o and his eyes open wide. I was beginning to feel awkward. "What do you say?"

"Yes." Damn. A gaytervention had been my last remaining hope. A smile spread across his face, a genuine, wide happy smile, and for the first time in a long while I felt like I had done something right.

Something right that was so very very wrong.


	4. The Deal

_Hey guys. I'm so grateful for all the nice comments I've received about this story so far. But I just want to make one thing clear._

_This story is quite a horrible subject matter. And yes, Blaine is a pretty horrible guy. Obviously views expressed in this story are not my personal ones and they are pretty extreme. They're also massively covering up true feelings, which shows the extent of pressure put upon kids like Blaine in schools like McKinley. So I can see why some people may not be comfortable with this._

_Things will change as the story progresses and they will get better, but in some ways they also wont. So if you don't like where it is headed I don't mind at all if you want to stop reading._

_Thanks_

_Liz xxx_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 - The Deal<strong>

I didn't know quite how I was supposed to react. Should I be happy about something like this? I kept secrets from people all the time, even people like Quinn. I had cheated on her a bunch of times and she'd never found out. But somehow this was different. This felt more…dirty.

Luckily I still didn't see Kurt for most of the day at school – in fact the only way we really communicated was through text.

**Do you want to meet up after school today?**

I'd received the message during the middle of Spanish and had nearly blushed from head to foot. _Fuck_. I was still not really ok with this. Maybe we shouldn't plan these events, maybe Kurt should just ambush me like he did last time and I would just go along with it. Puck shot me a glance from across the room but I just shook my head, making him assume if was just a dirty message from Quinn. When the lesson finished he demanded to see the text, so I distracted him with some comment about Miss Corcoran and simultaneously brought up and old one I'd received a couple of days ago. He bought it.

* * *

><p>It had taken me basically the whole day to come up with a reply, but by the time the bell rang for end of class we had a plan. I strolled out of English trying not to look like anything was different, that I was about to go off to some random hook up with a guy. Quinn was there to meet me and I kissed her with the same level of passion, not thinking about who else I would be kissing in fifteen minutes time.<p>

"Are we gonna do something today? You totally bailed on me yesterday." As she ran her fingers coyly down my chest I winced, not wanting to have to be the bearer of bad news.

"Baby, I'm sorry, my Dad has been on my case to get stuff for the house so I can't." Immediately my girlfriend's whole face scrunched up in disappointment. Seeing her like that made it very hard to feel good about deceiving her.

"Can't I come too?"

"Simone will be there." That was the deciding point. Quinn liked my Dad's girlfriend even less than I did – due to the fact that she disproved of our fornicating. With that added detail there was no way she would want to come.

"That's rubbish."

"I know." Pulling her in I nestled my nose in her hair, breathing in her scent and realising for the fifty millionth time that she really did just smell of chewing gum and lavender.

"When will you be done?"

"I don't know." That was the only honest answer I'd given so far.

"Well if you don't get finished till late then I want the _whole_ of tomorrow with you, ok?" A small laugh escaped from my lips as she scolded me, her finger tapping against the end of my nose.

"Ok, sure."

"Good." Lips were suddenly on mine and I let her kiss me for a considerable amount of time, before pulling away and pointing at the clock.

"I have to go."

"Ok, see you later."

"Bye."

* * *

><p>I sat in my car for about five minutes, parked up right behind the school. Man this was just stupid. Why had I agreed to this? We were sneaking around like fucking pre-schoolers. It was insane. I wasn't doing this. My hand reached to start the engine when suddenly my phone bleeped.<p>

**I'm ready**.

Fuck.

* * *

><p>The school seemed much more eerie completely deserted. It was either that, or the creeping around, that made me feel like I was in a horror movie. My footsteps seemed to echo through the corridor and I winced at the sound, convinced every few seconds or so that I was going to get caught. As I headed towards our designated destination I again wondered what the hell I was doing. This was such a stupid idea – I should never have suggested it. Maybe Kurt had some kind of control over me that only worked when we were close. I was fine when he wasn't around. I didn't need to do this.<p>

I was still two inches from bailing when I reached the cupboard, the cupboard in the science classroom that nobody ever used anymore. The door was slightly open so I knew he was inside and the thought made the panic rise right up to spilling point. Then it opened and I saw him.

* * *

><p>"Hi."<p>

"Hi." We both stood there. Kurt was crouched in the cupboard. It didn't really seem very comfortable. He was dressed in an open-necked shirt, which was some weird shade of pink, and red skinny jeans. He'd never looked more gay in his life. As I stared at him fear ran through me again, fear over what we were about to do, about how I'd actually agreed to this instead of it just happening. My feet itched to run away but at the same time they were rooted to the floor, just like they had been at the party and the other day. Kurt sensed my hesitance and he sighed, holding out his hand.

"Come here." His palm was outstretched, inviting. I didn't have to take it. For a while I just stood there, staring at it, like it was some new species I'd never seen before and didn't know what to do with. Then, very slowly, I reached out my hand and linked the fingers with his. Kurt sighed again, a small comforting smile spreading across his face. He looked at me carefully for conformation, before gently beginning to pull me towards him. Once more panic ran through me – my body momentarily fought against the movement but eventually it relented, allowing me closer and closer towards him, closer to that smell and taste. I reached the edge of the cupboard and my foot hit against the ledge, so I almost tripped. Kurt jerked out his other hand to catch me but I managed to steady myself, and slowly lifted my feet over one by one. It felt like I was stepping into some kind of cavern that I couldn't get out of. Once I was inside Kurt kept hold of my hand, staring into my eyes as he gradually closed the door. It seemed to take forever but eventually we were immersed in darkness.

Once it was pitch black my mind went completely blank. I closed my eyes a couple of times to see if there was any difference in the shade and realised it was pretty much the same. I couldn't see Kurt but I could feel him, feel his hand still gripping mine, his breath on my face and the hum of his presence.

"Blaine?" He said quietly, almost in a whisper. Every hair on my body stood up.

"Yes."

"I'm going to kiss you now. Is that ok?" There was a silence. This was the last chance for me to back out, to leave now and forget this had ever happened. This was it.

"Yes."

* * *

><p>I was expecting to be assaulted, but this time Kurt proceeded slowly with much more care. Maybe now I was willing he didn't have to be so forceful, but before anything happened I felt the tips of his toes touch mine as he shuffled forward, then a hand reaching out to slip round the back of my neck, tilting my head forward for the best angle. As I felt his face move closer my heart began to race at a hundred miles an hour, beating so loudly I swear he could hear it. Kurt's breathing became faster and I wondered if he was nervous too, before suddenly our lips touched and everything was forgotten.<p>

It was like someone had switched on a light in my brain. Before my kisses with Kurt had been rushed, full of want and lustful need. This one was different. Kurt kissed me slowly and I felt every inch of my body turn to jelly. Feeling unstable I stumbled forward and he reach out a hand to catch me, gripping onto my hip tightly. I reached out my hands too and they fumbled to grab onto his shirt, not really succeeding. I would have laughed but Kurt was already working wonders on the inside of my mouth, lapping at it in a way that drove me insane. As we kissed deeper I felt a chest press against mine and knees gently brush across my leg. Kurt still had his hand of my hip and he used this to hold us in place, his other hand pressing our heads together lightly, but not forcefully like he normally did. I definitely wasn't struggling, in fact I was pretty much being moulded, my body physically unable to do anything but succumb completely and utterly to him. I felt Kurt exhale slowly, the fingers at my neck beginning to twine in my hair and suddenly my hands found their target, pressing deep into the small of his back, wanting to feel as much of his skin on mine as possible. The tension in the air was unbearable – I could feel it vibrating across my skin and it wasn't enough. I needed more. Taking matters into my own hands I began to push us towards the wall. The way was rocky and we stumbled and rocked a few times, faltering but never breaking contact with our lips of hands. There were all kinds of scientific equipment lying around but they were all kicked to the side until we found the expanse of wall. I pressed Kurt up against it and he groaned, immediately pulling me in closer and hooking his leg round mine to keep me there. I wasn't going anywhere. As we kissed further and deeper, beginning to pick up pace, I felt Kurt's crotch buck up against mine and almost screamed, the feeling fizzing through me like electricity. Sensing my reaction he did it again, and pretty soon we were grinding against each other. I was hard, and he was too – oh God, I was hard from another guy. The thought of how this normally happened and where it normally lead suddenly brought me back to reality – I broke away and Kurt whimpered like he so often did – the sound making my skin tingle again.

"I'm sorry." I didn't know why I was apologising. Even though we'd broken contact with our mouths our bodies were still pressed together and I could feel the hardness loud and clear. It was making me sweat.

"What's wrong?" Kurt stroked the back of my neck with his fingers and I very nearly purred.

"I…erm…just…" To try and illustrate my point better I brought our crotches away from each other – from how it sounded he seemed disappointed, but I couldn't see his face to gauge his full reaction.

"Oh, ok. You're not ready for that. I suppose we can save it till later." For a second Kurt's words worried me (there certainly hadn't been a discussion about 'later' nor was I sure this would even go on for that much longer) but after he spoke he pressed a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth and I forgot about it completely.

"Do you still want to do this?" His mouth whispered in my ear. Before my brain had even begun to come up with a reply my head was nodding, prompting another silence filled only with the sound of lips on lips and skin on skin.

* * *

><p>I was totally confused.<p>

I'd come up with the 'arrangement' to try and sort out my feelings. To help my brain decide what the hell was going on with it, and then sort it out – hopefully dispel it completely. All it had actually done was created thousands more questions.

I lay in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. It had been an hour and a half since I'd got home – an hour and forty minutes since mine and Kurt's encounter in the cupboard. I didn't even know what to think about it. Had it been fun? In a way it had. In a way it had been the most horrendous torture incredibly possible. As I went over the details in my head I found myself feeling repulsed. Kurt had had his hands all over me. He had been doing what Quinn normally did on a daily basis. And it had felt just as good. In fact, it had felt better. Whether he was just an amazing lover or if it was the male race in general – I'd felt it. No matter how wrong it was.

I turned over. Blaine – what were you _thinking_? Allowing yourself to do this? It was madness. I wasn't supposed to be feeling like this. I was supposed to be like every other guy in this world – turned on by girls and turned off by guys. That was the _normal_ way. Why was I any different? Had I taken something recently to make me gay? Some kind of pill that had changed my brain? All I knew now was that I felt unclean, dirty. Suddenly I jumped up, running to the shower and turning it on to full power. I stripped off and leaped inside, not caring that it was still cold. My hands reached out for the sponge and I immediately began to scrubs at my skin – trying to wash the gay off and reveal the normal Blaine underneath. When that didn't feel any different I turned the water up to full heat – right until it was scalding, burning my skin. Maybe if I stood here long enough I would burn it away instead – the rawness would express the true me and things would go back to how they were. I dug my head in the flow and felt the pain coarse through my body – it was searing but I forced myself to endure it. I was wrong. I was a freak. I needed to be punished for the thoughts in my head and they needed to go away. Suddenly I was crying, tears that felt cold compared to the scalding water and dripped down to be washed away down the sink, just like my dreams and previous life experiences.

I was a mess.


	5. The Girlfriend

**Chapter 5 - The Girfriend**

Damn.

I'd thought about skipping school today – wondered if it would be better if nobody saw, kept their questioning thoughts locked up inside their heads, not yet discovered. But I had to go.

"Dude, what the hell." Puck looked me up and down like I was dressed in a monkey suit. I groaned, leaning forward and rubbing my hands against my face, before remembering that that still hurt too. Obviously the thought process in my brain that scalding my skin to oblivion would have later consequences hadn't got through – I was still a lurid shade of pink and there were burns all over my arms and shoulders. Understandably the sight had prompted a few open-mouthed stares, but I had managed to glare back at most people and stop them commenting. Puck however, was harder to get rid of.

"The fuck happened?"

"My shower broke. I got scalded." It was a lame excuse. I knew it was. But it was kinda true.

"Your shower broke?"

"Yeah. And I slipped so it took me ages to get up."

"Didn't you have one of those mats on your floor? They help with grip." Puck and I suddenly turned to our right, glaring.

"Rory get lost. Why are you even in this conversation?" The Irish boy's face fell and he immediately swivelled back round to his desk.

"So you _really_ slipped for that long?" Puck continued.

"Yeah."

"_Ok…_" I ignored his obvious scepticism, turning the page of my History textbook and pretending I was reading. "Your Dad didn't…"

"What?"

"He didn't find out about that guy raping you did he?"

"No!" My response was immediate, for several reasons. "No of course not. And my Dad's not…" My Dad wasn't homophobic. Well I sure as hell hoped he wasn't. "He wouldn't do that."

"Ok. Sorry."

"And he didn't _rape_ me." I was getting uncomfortable about that word being used about Kurt. It wasn't true and it wasn't fair. Puck shifted uncomfortably in his seat but I ignored the movement again. If everyone was going to give me interrogation 101 about the goddamn colour of my skin I might as well just shoot myself right now.

"When Quinn sees she is gonna _freak._" Now this point I had to agree with. I'd managed to avoid her this morning for precisely that reason, but she would track me down before long. I was dreading it. "Maybe she can give you something to make you feel better…"

"_Puck_." I slammed my hand against the table, exasperated. "Just give it a rest." My friend looked surprised.

"What is _up_ with you recently?" he replied. "Quinn is hot stuff – why aren't you tapping that?" I couldn't answer. I couldn't. The answer was something I wasn't quite sure of either. Puck stared at me for a few seconds, waiting for something to come out of my mouth, before realisation suddenly spread across his face.

"Oh my God. Are you fucking someone else?" What.

"Huh?" My real confusion was taken as faked.

"_Dude_! You're totally banging some other chick! That's why you've been all shifty lately! Go you!" He held up his hand and I let him hi-five mine, still completely dazed. How had he come up with this? I suppose it was as good a rouse as any.

"Is she hot?" Suddenly realising I was being asked a question I brought myself back to reality.

"Um, I guess." Puck looked like he was about to explode.

"_DUDE!_ Wait – is this why you're really like this?" He shifted closer and lowered his voice. "Is she into some kind of weird torture shit or something?"

"No!" That was ridiculous. My friend laughed and I could tell he didn't believe me. Well, this was a turn out for the books. My self-hatred had been translated into kinky as hell sex. Only someone with my popularity could get positive publicity like that.

"_You._ You are _awesome_." As I received a hearty slap on the back I looked back at my textbook and tried not to shake my head.

"Don't tell _anyone_ about this."

"Oh don't worry – this will be our little secret."

"Good." If I could keep Puck off the scent of my little arrangement it would mean good things for everyone. And he would pull other people away too. This was great.

"Does this mean Quinn's free game now?" Instantly I flashed my head around and shot my best friend a glare.

"_NO_."

* * *

><p>After leaving History as Mr Amazing the next challenge I had to cope with was my girlfriend. As soon as she saw me by my locker I instantly knew I was in trouble.<p>

"BLAINE!" As she ran over I prepared myself for an onslaught of oestrogen-filled chatter. It was worse than I'd been expecting.

"_What the hell happened_?" Her hands reached out to cup my face and I winced at the soreness, which obviously didn't do me any favours.

"Um, my shower broke."

"What? Your shower broke?" I really needed another excuse. And this time I certainly couldn't use the 'I'm sleeping with another kinky girl' one.

"Yeah."

"It wasn't Simone was it?" Oh God. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to enter this realm. The problem was it was very tempting. "I bet she did it on purpose! I'm going to kill that witch!"

"No!" Stopping my girlfriend mid rage I reached out to grab her arm, prompting her to turn round and give me a look that genuinely scared me. "It wasn't her. I just slipped."

"Well is your ankle ok?" For a second I wondered what on earth she was talking about before the realisation clicked. _Dude_ Blaine, lie better.

"Um, yeah." Quinn put her hands on her hips and I wondered if this was the point where I was finally busted. Luckily she was pretty stupid.

"You are spending the night at mine." Um, what? The shock was written across my face.

"Wha?"

"Well I'm not letting you go home to that witch. And I want to take care of you. In lots of ways…" Suddenly I felt her hand travelling south again. _Oh my God_. For the second time today sex was replacing my angst. How was this even possible? I had to admit it was freaking amazing.

"Ok." My reply was a little stilted and quick due to the direction we were currently headed and Quinn smiled, reaching forward to press a long kiss to my lips.

"You can make up for all the time we've missed the last few days." Oh yes. Oh _yes_ I would make up for that. For those few seconds suddenly everything seemed normal – despite the lurid colour of my skin, Quinn had her hands down my pants, I was a hero in Puck's eyes and still resolutely top dog of the whole school. I almost let myself give in to it – accept it as fact and enjoy it. Then I saw something across the other side of the corridor.

* * *

><p>He'd looked horrified.<p>

The whole way through trig my phone didn't stop buzzing. I ignored all of them. But it was hard. Fuck. Why had he had to see me? I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to see him ever again. He'd been the one that had caused this. As I got another text from Quinn that I went to reply to I could see the start of every message in my inbox.

**Blaine what the hell happened?**

**We need to talk about this**

**I need to see you NOW**

**REPLY TO ME**

Go away. I wasn't ever going to reply. I looked at the Quinn text.

**Looking forward to tonight xxx**

It was just sitting there. In between all this crap. I didn't need this.

* * *

><p>I practically ran out of the classroom at the end of the day – paranoid that Kurt would be there waiting for me outside the classroom. When I saw Quinn my heart leapt out of my chest but I realised it was just her and we quickly made our way to the lockers and then my car.<p>

Quinn's house was massive. Her parents were super rich and I had benefited from this many times. As we pulled up she smiled at me, before jumping out of the car. Watching her walk made me wonder why I could ever have feelings for someone else when this perfect specimen was all mine. _All mine_.

We walked up to the door and Quinn rang the doorbell sharply. There were a couple of seconds of waiting, in which she grabbed hold of my hand and held it tightly, before the door opened and Mr Fabray was revealed.

"Hello you two!" Mrs Fabray _loved_ me. Like, worshipped the ground I walked on. I was the perfect boyfriend, and would one day marry her daughter in a $5,000 wedding. Of course she had never actually met my family – if she did she would realise I was hardly the good little Christian boy I was made out to be. And that Quinn _certainly_ wasn't a good little Christian girl.

"Afternoon Mrs Fabray." I bowed my head – happy my colour had gone down considerably since the start of the day and she smiled. I'd often wondered if she found me attractive and if that was one of the reasons why I was so popular. Her husband was kinda old.

"Blaine's not been feeling too well." Quinn said, perfecting her innocent little girl look (damn she was hot when she did that). "I'm gonna go look after him." Mrs Fabray held a hand to her heart, as if she couldn't believe how caring her darling daughter was, before allowing us into the house.

"Do you guys want anything to eat?" I went to respond with 'cookies' (Mrs Fabray made _the_ best double choc chip cookies on the planet) but Quinn interrupted.

"No, we'll be fine. I'll call you if we need anything." She smiled, gripping my hand tightly and pulling me off towards the stairs. Mrs Fabray smiled back and that was that.

* * *

><p>"Hey!" I whined once we were in Quinn's room. "I wanted cookies…" To my surprise she shut the door behind us and pushed me towards the bed.<p>

"Shut up." As the back of my leg hit the wood I let out a noise but was quickly pushed onto my back and felt the softness of the sheets against my skin. My girlfriend quickly climbed on top of me and before I had a chance to say anything else her lips were on mine. Well – this was certainly better than cookies.

We kissed for a considerable amount of time – both of us completely aware that Mrs Fabray was only a flight of stairs away from catching us. Just as I was beginning to get into it Quinn pulled away and I groaned in annoyance. Damn what was with her being such a frickin tease?

"Get back here." I said, reaching out my arms to pull her in again, but she fought with me.

"No. Take your shirt off."

"You take my shirt off." She smiled.

"No _you_. I'll be back in a second." For once I obeyed. There was something about the way she was acting that had me intrigued. Plus I was majorly turned on. As I wrestled with my top Quinn waltzed off to her en suite, making sure to shake her ass as she moved. I was enjoying the scene when my phone buzzed again. Without thinking I checked the text.

**Stop ignoring me**

Oh crap. Tossing it to the side I tried to forget what I had just read and get myself back into the zone. Luckily Quinn reappeared seconds later with a tube of something in her hand and my eyes widened.

"Now…" My girlfriend said, a sexy glint in her eye. She climbed back onto the bed, straddling me and pulling up her sleeves. "Your skin is still sore, so I thought I'd give you a little massage to help you feel better." As she opened the tube and squeezed out a considerable amount of moisturising cream onto her hand I almost choked. _Holy crap_. This was like my own personal heaven. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to respond or not but Quinn carried on anyway, leaning forward and then running her hands down my chest.

* * *

><p>The cream was cold against my skin so I gasped, making her purse her lips together in the most erotic way and spread her fingers out. My brain was currently going nuts – every pleasure sense in me tingling. As she worked the cream into my skin I let my head fall back into the bed and wondered when the last time was that I'd felt this good. Oh right – it was when I'd been kissing Kurt in the cupboard. As if on cue my phone suddenly buzzed again – Quinn looked at me to see if I was going to answer it but I left it and motioned for her to continue pleasuring me. If I didn't get sex at the end of this I wasn't going to be happy. I was horny as fuck.<p>

"Do you like this baby?" She asked, digging her fingers in to a particularly sensitive spot near my hipbones. I moaned.

"Oh fuck, _yes_." My phone buzzed again.

"Do you want it harder?"

"Yes!"

"Do you want me harder?"

"FOR FUCKS SAKE!" My phone went whizzing across the room as it buzzed for the third time, bouncing off the wall and onto the floor. My body was facing the direction I'd thrown in and Quinn had been unceremoniously dumped off onto the bed.

"_Blaine!" _I could tell she was annoyed. I didn't care – I was more annoyed at myself. Annoyed that once again I'd struggled to get one stupid person out of my brain.

"What the hell?" When I didn't respond she jumped off the bed and ran over to pick up my sadly unbroken phone from the floor and bring it back to us. Instantly my heart leapt.

"Give me that."

"Why? You just threw it halfway across the room." As she went to check the messages panic rushed through me and I sat up to desperately try and retrieve it. I was too late.

"WHAT is this?" Anger immediately rushed into Quinn's features. Oh _shit_. "Blaine? _What is this_?" I went to grab the phone again but she held it away, her eyes burning.

"Give me my phone."

"NO!"

"_Give me it NOW!_" Suddenly my girlfriend shrank away. She could do angry, but I could do it better. My hand reached out to snatch the phone from her and I immediately went to delete Kurt's texts – the sight of which now made me hate him even more. He was causing shit everywhere.

"Why is some girl texting you?" Quinn asked, her voice now decidedly more quiet and less threatening. At least she thought it was a girl.

"She's just some idiot I met at a party than wont leave me alone." The lies were easier when I was angry – they practically flew off my tongue. Especially when this kind of thing happened all the time. Girls were stupid and clingy.

"Why didn't you just tell me that?"

"Because you don't need to know ok? She's just some girl and she's annoying the fuck out of me. Look." I scrolled through my contacts to the generic name of 'person' I had given Kurt's number (this was actually something I did quite often when I couldn't remember people's names) and deleted it, a sense of relief flowing through me as I saw is disappear. "There you go." I dropped my phone on the floor and flopped back down onto the bed, my previous good mood completely ruined. Fuck Kurt. Fuck him.

"Blaine…?" After half a minute or so of silence, Quinn gingerly crawled back on top of me, her hands reaching to thread through my hair and I sighed loudly. "Blaine do you forgive me?"

"Yeah whatever." I said apathetically, before a kiss was pressed to the corner of my mouth.

"Do you want me to carry on with what we were doing?"

"Yes."

* * *

><p>Quinn and I had a good night. One hell of a good night. It was so good that I managed to almost completely forget about the phone fiasco, and everything else that had gone on before that. With Kurt's number deleted it was easy to believe the texts were actually from some annoying party girl, easier to delete and easier to discard from my brain like hazy memories. The pink tinge to my skin was gone and I was back to being Blaine.<p>

* * *

><p>I waltzed through the crowds like I was a King. My arm was slung around Quinn, who looked equally as pleased to be by my side. People stopped and stared – not because I looked strange or because some dude had jumped me at a party – but because we were worth staring at. We were who they wanted to be. I reached my locker and grinned, prompting Quinn to grin back at me and let my hands wind round her waist to pull us close. We kissed and I let her tongue play around in my mouth for a while before pulling away. I was straight. I was so freaking straight. My girlfriend nuzzled her nose into my neck and I stroked her hair gently, ready to start a new day of being popular and heavenly me, before I suddenly heard a sound that made my whole body freeze.<p>

"Blaine!" My eyes darted up and my heart stopped. There, at the end of the corridor, looking straight at me, was Kurt. And he was coming over.

"_Shit_." Quinn looked up, obviously confused as to my sudden change of mood, and when she turned round to see my line of sight her teeth bared.

"_Him_." My sheer panic was being disguised as annoyance – I began to frantically take my things out of my locker, perfectly happy for Quinn to stand guard and fight my battle for me. Kurt was getting closer and my heart was pounding in my chest. He wouldn't come over, he wouldn't. It was suicide for him.

The sound of footsteps got closer and I went to leave, Kurt shouted out my name again making it completely obvious what he wanted but Quinn was already fighting.

"Stay away from us you fucking creep." Her hands reached out to give him a rough shove, something he wasn't expecting and sent him crashing into the nearby lockers. I winced inwardly at the sound but was still too completely shocked to let it appear on my face. As he collected himself Quinn stepped back to shield me with her body. Really it should be humiliating that my girlfriend was protecting me, but I didn't care. I wanted out of this situation as soon as fucking possible and I wanted Kurt to pay for it.

"Get lost!" Quinn shouted, her voice loud and commanding. We had a pretty big audience watching us already and Kurt needed to leave.

"I want to talk to Blaine." Oh my God, he was really going through with this. He was really humiliating me. For a second I let myself hold eye contact with him – trying to get the desperate message across that he needed to get the fuck away now, before I ripped his throat out, but Kurt used the moment as a chance to try and guilt force me more.

"_You_ talk to _Blaine_? Yeah right! The last time you spoke to _my boyfriend_ you tried to rape him!" No he didn't. The last time he spoke to me it was moaning my name as we made out in a cupboard. Then I tortured myself about it and he knows and he's not going to leave and oh shit oh shit oh shit. I literally didn't know what to do. All I knew was that I was going to kill Kurt. I was going to kill him for doing this and completely ruining my life. I was never going to meet up with him again.

"I'm not leaving until I speak to him!" Suddenly my torturer lurched forward, obviously in a last ditch attempt and I jumped backwards, crashing into the lockers and dropping my books. This was the final straw – three jocks stepped in to pull the gay boy away and practically throw him across the corridor. Quinn helped me pick up my things and rushed me off towards my first class, leaving the sounds of kicking and screaming behind,

* * *

><p>Why couldn't he see I didn't want his help. Why couldn't he fucking stay away from me? As soon as Quinn was out of my sight I pulled out my phone and went through my messages to find the number.<p>

"What the FUCK are you doing?"

"Blaine!" There it was again. He didn't even realise I was livid with him. He didn't even realised what he'd done. He was just happy to hear me.

"Shut up! I'm going to fucking _kill_ you!" I couldn't gauge his reaction through the medium of sound but I gathered he realised I wasn't happy.

"I needed to speak to you."

"In the fucking _CORRIDOR_! I never want to speak to you again!"

"Blaine we need to meet up, we need to talk about what you're feel-"

"-No no NO! We are not fucking talking about ANYTHING!" I was practically hissing into the speaker, desperately trying to keep my voice down but struggling. My anger was building inside of me.

"Why didn't you reply to any of my texts?"

"I deleted you number, I don't want you contacting me."

"You deleted my what? Blaine don't do this!" I could feel the fury bubbling towards boiling point, ready to explode at any moment – surprisingly in the form of tears.

"I want you out of my life."

"If you don't meet up with me today I will find you after every one of your lessons until you do." At this I froze. _Fuck_.

Kurt would do that. Kurt was the kind of fucking psycho that would do that and get beaten up every time. He was gonna get himself killed.

"_Fine_. I'll fucking see you – but this is the _last time_!" I heard him sigh down the phone and almost broke down right there and then. We arranged a time and place and when the line went dead I slumped down onto the floor and dug my face into my hands.


	6. The Meeting

****_Merry Christmas everyone!_

_Sorry if this is a little angsty for such a special day, but this is my present to all of you. And there is a little something extra in here for you that you might appreciate :D Enjoy!_

_Liz xxx_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6 - The Meeting<strong>

As soon as I opened the door to the science room Kurt's whole face flooded with relief.

"Blaine!" He ran forward to throw his arms around me but I fought him off – trying to ignore how nice he smelt.

"GET OFF ME!" No fucking way. He was not doing that.

"Blaine please-"

"-No! _You_ are what caused this! _You_ are the disease! I hate you!" I could see the hurt spread across his features, almost as visible as the bruises across his arms and jaw. Those bruises were because of me. But my wounds were deeper.

"Blaine…"

"You FORCED me here! You WANT me to suffer! You WANT IT!" My anger came spilling out in a tirade of abuse, one I was sure somebody was bound to hear and come searching for. But I didn't care. Kurt needed to know how he'd ruined my life. I ranted for a while, exhausting every part of me so eventually I ground to a halt and slumped onto a nearby desk.

Kurt looked at me. His eyes were filled with something that I couldn't work out, but disgusted me. He titled his head to the side after a long pause had occurred and sighed.

"Oh Blaine…" I saw him move along slightly, leaving part of the desk he was sitting on free, but I shook my head. I wasn't going anywhere near him.

"We need to talk about what happened. About what you did to yourself.

"I'm not telling you anything." My reply was curt and menacing – I didn't care if it was rude.

"Please Blaine."

"Shut up."

"You need to tell _someone_." Hah. As if _he_ would be the person I would choose. The person _I_ would confide in. My silence rang out across the room and Kurt sighed again, looking concerned.

"Was it because of us?"

"_Yes_." My response was sudden. It had meant to make him feel bad, but instead ended up being more of a confession. Kurt looked sympathetic and I wanted to punch him.

* * *

><p>Slowly he got up and began to walk across the room, running his fingers across the tables he passed and winding between them. He stopped by my desk but I didn't move, wanting to stand my ground. As a result his body hutched onto the tiny space next to me, only really half sitting, and to my annoyance practically the whole of one side pressed against mine.<p>

"You shouldn't ever have to do those kinds of things to yourself." He began, staring at the side of my face even though I was refusing to look up. "For anything."

"Yes I do!" Suddenly my head flashed round, anger in my eyes. "This is wrong. _I_ am _wrong_."

"No you're not." Kurt brought his hand up to brush against my cheek and I smacked it away. He ignored the movement however, still looking at me with caring eyes. "The only thing that's _wrong_ is you not being able to express how you feel. You're pushing it away."

"Exactly! I should push it away because it's WRONG!" Suddenly I felt tears begin to form in my eyes and my self-hatred grew to new heights. I looked down at the floor again trying to hide it and Kurt sighed.

"Blaine, please don't get upset." I felt his hand touch my shoulder and immediately flinched again.

"Don't."

"Why not? I want to help you."

"You're not helping! You're what started all of this!"

"Then let me be the one to make it better. _Please_." For a second we stared into each other's eyes. Kurt looked sad. Through all my anger and hatred I hadn't taken his emotions into consideration at all. He'd practically been beaten up every day at McKinley yet for some reason he was here, helping me. Or trying to.

"Don't move." Suddenly I felt his hand on my shoulder, moving slowly up to the base of my neck. I went to pull away again but another hand held me carefully in place. "Sssh. Stay still." Reluctantly I obeyed, trying to think about something neutral and forget where I was. Kurt's hand trailed lightly across the back of my neck, tickling at the hairs until he found a part that was still fairly sensitive from the scalding it had received two days earlier. Very gently I felt him stroke it, almost too gently to even feel. Then slowly he returned to my shoulders, which he then began to carefully massage. My head uncontrollably shifted in pleasure and the other hand left my side to join its twin, working at my other shoulder. Oh my God, I was so tense. This felt amazing.

As Kurt continued to massage me he kept his mouth close to my ear, whispering "sssh" over and over again so I drifted into a state of perpetual bliss. Suddenly the hands were removed and I let out a murmur of annoyance, before they then reappeared at my collarbones and ran down over my chest. Kurt's back was pressed flush against mine and he suddenly pressed a kiss to the side of my neck that made me groan. He kissed me again, his nose bumping against my chin as he came back up and then slowly I felt him move around to face me. I had my eyes closed and my head titled back in bliss, but the rest of my senses were alive.

Kurt's hands ran down my back, over the shoulders he had just massaged and then back up again. Next they reached my hair and threaded through it, pushing it deliberately up the wrong way so my whole body tingled. I felt lips press against my forehead and then the side of my face as hands cupped my cheeks. His whole face was right there and as a particular expanse of neck brushed against my mouth I let my tongue dart out, desperate to taste the skin.

* * *

><p>That was it.<p>

Lips found mine and I let out a long, long exhale. Kurt responded similarly and his hands slipped back to rest behind my ears, still keeping our faces locked together. Filled with desire I opened my legs to let him shift closer towards me and at the same time opened my mouth. Jesus Christ. As we kissed Kurt pressed his body close to mine and I let my hands wind round to rest in the small of his back. The table was beginning to creak with the amount of pressure we were putting on it and because he was standing the height difference made him push me back even more. Our mouths connected again and again – hard passionate kisses filled with need and desire until eventually we ran out of oxygen and broke away, both of us panting loudly. Our faces were still inches apart and I kept my fingers pressed into his skin, not wanting to let go.

"Please don't take this away." Kurt suddenly said, almost unable to speak in between breaths. He pressed his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes, pleading. "Please don't take it…"

"I…" I replied, also struggling to speak. "I…can't. I can't." Our lips crushed together again and I shut my eyes tightly, pulling Kurt as close to me as I possibly could. I couldn't stop this now. I needed it. I needed Kurt.

* * *

><p>The next time Kurt and I met was the first time I let him touch me.<p>

We were in our usual place – the science cupboard. Kurt had obviously done some DIY in a free period because the shelves that had been there before, blocking the full expanse of wall, were gone and a lot of the equipment had been cleared away to the side we didn't use. What was still exactly the same, however, was that it was pitch black and I was pressed up against the wall, groaning already. Both of us were rock hard and it was painfully obvious, so Kurt bucked up against me hard a couple of times to check I was ok and then began to undo my zipper.

Wow. Had we gone over this? I wasn't sure if I was cool with it or not. We'd been going at our _thing_ for quite a while, dry humping and sucking each other's mouths dry for days. Kurt had tried to broach the subject several times but I'd simply ignored it and crushed my hips closer to his, desperate to just think about the forbidden moment and nothing else. I wanted him, I knew that. But even so. _This_ was something different. This was the next level.

I was about to say something when my zip was drawn and a hiss escaped from my mouth at the release, then suddenly a hand felt around my waistband and slipped underneath. Oh _Lord_. Kurt was an expert – he had obviously done this before. As his fingers touched my dick I immediately screamed, biting down on his lip hard so he yelped out in pain but seemed to enjoy it. Then he moved down further and suddenly his entire hand was grasping hold of me.

* * *

><p>I didn't quite know how to react. Of course I'd been jacked off many times, but certainly not by a boy. It felt AMAZING, but I didn't know whether to moan out of ecstasy or repulsion. I suppose if I closed my eyes and pretended it was Quinn that would be ok. But Kurt's hands were too different to be hers. True his fingers were dainty and moisturised to perfection, but there was something about then that made it plainly obvious it was him.<p>

"Nnngh." Suddenly Kurt began to move and all my thoughts were cut off completely. His thumb scraped along the underside of my cock and my hand flew out to smack against the cupboard door, the pain almost overriding the intense shot of pleasure that coursed through me. Kurt smiled, before his fingers slid back down to the base and I choked on my own air supply. Shit he knew just how to jack me off. His hand moved expertly, working at just the right speed and building gradually so my moans got louder and louder until they were full blown shouts.

"Kurt! Oh Kurt!" Now I knew I wasn't pretending it was someone else – I wanted it to be him. I wanted him to keep feeling me like this until the rest of time. Kurt looked ecstatic, his mouth slightly open as his own aroused state became visible and I could see his pupils darkening with lust.

"Blaine…" As he breathed my name suddenly lips were on mine and combined with the ferocious speed we were now going, I felt my stomach coiling uncontrollably. Oh God, I was so close.

"Oh! God!" Kurt's tongue dipped into corners of my mouth I didn't think it was possible to explore and his hand worked at my dick, one finger occasionally brushing over the head in the most magical way. I was moaning loudly, my hips bucking up uncontrollably as I ran my hands along the cold wall, and sweat began to trickle down my face and I became completely and utterly lost in the moment. Then, with one final tug, all of a sudden I was coming. I was coming harder than I ever had in my entire life. As I threw my head back and moaned Kurt's name I felt something tense inside him too. My vision became blurred and full of stars but he held me firmly and we rode out the orgasm together.

* * *

><p>Once the high had died down suddenly my limbs felt incredibly heavy, I'd expelled so much energy that I could barely hold myself up and gradually Kurt let me slide down so I was crouching near the floor. His hand was still down my pants and as he removed it slowly he licked his fingers free of come – something I shouldn't have found so goddamn attractive. Holy shit – I'd just come in my pants.<p>

"Oh my God." It was the first words I'd said in a while that hadn't been my friend's name. Kurt looked at me and to my surprise smiled. Both our breathing was still pretty heavy but he leant forward and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. Wait – was that my own come I could taste? Well _that_ was something I'd never experienced before.

"Did you like that?" He asked. It was almost a stupid question. Unable to really reply I simply nodded my head and he smiled again.

"Me too. You're gonna have to be a lot quieter next time though, otherwise we are definitely gonna get caught." As if to illustrate his point he leant forward again, this time putting pressure on his hand over my crotch so I groaned but immediately had the sound cut off by another kiss. When we broke away I was surprised I was even alive anymore.

"Mmmn, next time." Kurt licked his lips as he brought himself back to his feet and I rubbed my face with my hand, staring down in disbelief at my unbuttoned pants.

* * *

><p>I was still pretty dazed when I got into my car. God knows how I was going to drive home. Kurt was already long gone but I'd sat contemplating what had happened for a while.<p>

I'd come.

Kurt had made me come. A boy had made me come.

I'd always thought that getting turned on was my limit. I mean, if anyone touches your dick it's bound to turn you on right? No matter who it is. But to bring it to the point of coming – when you're so aware of that person and what they're doing that you orgasm... Woah. And Kurt had seemed to enjoy it too.

_Kurt_. What on earth was he feeling right now? Should he be happy that I'd cracked? That he'd _finally_ had his way with me? Was this even normal for him, having sex with guys? There wasn't exactly a plethera of them hanging round McKinley, but I had no idea what he'd got up to at his other school. He'd certainly made me his mission though. I didn't know whether to applaud him for his perseverance or hate him. Then again, why was I even thinking about his feelings? I let my head fall against the steering wheel, almost hitting the horn, and groaned.

I was really in the shit now.

* * *

><p>As I pulled up outside my house and shifted to get out of the car I realised how sticky I was. Eew. I would definitely be needing a shower as soon as I got inside. And my pants were going on a hot wash. Shuffling awkwardly up to the door I fiddled with the goddamn fucked up lock and immediately headed for the stairs.<p>

"Blaine!" Oh God. _Simone_. Pretending I hadn't heard I carried on walking but heard another shout.

"Blaine!" Crap. That was my Dad. I really had to reply now.

"I'm just going for a shower!" I shouted back, hoping that was a good enough explanation. I fucking hoped it was – I certainly wasn't telling them the real reason for my hasty trip to the bathroom.

"No, come here!" Shit. Why did they want to talk to me? Why now, of all times was I being subjected to messed up family bonding?

"I'll be five minutes!"

"Blaine Everett Anderson come here NOW!" Well that was it. Letting out a loud exasperated sigh I backtracked down the four or so steps I had managed to scale and tried to walk as normally into the living room as possible – hoping to God and anything else that there weren't come stains on my jeans.

* * *

><p>Once I emerged I immediately stopped. Dad was sitting on the sofa, Simone perched next to him, their hands resting on each others. There were two unfamiliar children sitting in the other chairs.<p>

"Ah, Blaine." Simone said, smiling at me in the way she always did. The way that screamed 'I'm your Dad's girlfriend – please love me and accept me as your own'. Fat chance. I stared back at her blankly, letting my eyes cast over the strange children again and trying to give them as scary a look as possible. First impression were everything.

"Did you have a nice day at school?" Suddenly I was brought back to the conversation and almost stuttered at the question. Yes. If you call getting a hand job in a cupboard by a guy a nice day.

"We have something to tell you Blaine." Dad continued, thankfully taking away any need for me to reply to the question. "Something we would have told you a lot sooner if you were actually round here at all." He looked at me, unimpressed, but I simply ignored the comment. Ideally I wanted them to tell me this piece of magical information as quickly as possible and then leave me to have my shower. Also the weird kids could leave. They were looking at me funnily.

"Simone is moving in with us."

* * *

><p><strong>What.<strong>

In all my posturing and thinking I'd completely misheard his words. Well I must have misheard them.

"Blaine?" My eyes flicked to Simone, her gaze worried, obviously searching for a reaction. So wait – I _had _heard right?

"_She_…is moving in?" My right hand lifted up to shakily point at my Dad's girlfriend. He sighed.

"Yes." _What_? When had this been decided? Why hadn't I been consulted? "And don't start harping on about your say – we've spoken about this and think it's the best decision for everyone." _For everyone_? This was _not_ good for me. Not good _at all_.

"Blaine, I know we haven't always seen eye to eye," yeah that's right. I freakin hate you. "but your Dad and I have been together for quite a while, and we felt that now was the right time to take our relationship to the next stage. I love him very much." Oh God. Oh _God_. I was not hearing this. I felt my hands go up to the top of my face, my head shaking as I pretended this wasn't happening.

"Blaine?" No. I was not saying fucking anything. Anything that came out of my mouth right now would make my Dad extremely angry.

"As a result, we're also going to have two other people living with us." Suddenly Dad spoke again, his hand moving away from Simone's to point at the two random kids. I stopped my freaking out temporarily to look at them, wondering if this was going to be another bombshell to completely destroy my life. There was a boy and a girl. The boy looked about fifteen, tall and gangly, pretty freaky looking. I doubted he had a girlfriend – or any girl attention for that matter. McKinley would be a wasteground for him, and for me too if I was spotted anywhere near him.

"Once again we would have liked you to have meet earlier, but circumstances prevented it. "The girl was younger and slightly prettier, red curly spinning down her face to just below her chin, but still pretty skinny. They looked a lot like Simone and were probably just as annoying.

"Meet Tiffanie and Dean. Your new siblings."

* * *

><p>The door slammed behind me. I was up the stairs before Dad even had time to shout something – before Simone could burst into tears and cause yet another family argument that would span for weeks until they gave up on me and let it be. I stormed into the bathroom and turned on the shower, this time ice cold, stripping off my sticky disgusting clothes and getting ready to step inside.<p> 


	7. The House

_Okily dokily!_

_Sorry about the slight delay in this chapter - Christmas and New Years and me randomly getting super ill got in the way. But here is the new chapter :D_

_This is also a message to say that unfortunately my updates are probably gonna be more infrequent from now on (more like once a week). I'm going skiing today so wont be on my computer at all for 6 days, and then after that I'm on teaching placement so will be spending most of my time and energy on that. I will still be writing though so expect chapters, just not quite as frequently._

_Thanks guys! _

_Liz xxx_

_P.S. For this fic, Finn's Dad isn't dead, simply because I wanted an excuse to get him out of the house. Poetic licence ok? :D_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7 - The Hous<strong>**e**

"Simone's moving in with us."

"_What_?" Quinn almost dropped her fork. I sighed, rubbing my fingers against my forehead for the millionth time. "Are you _serious_?"

"Yep." My girlfriend stopped eating, placing her cutlery down on the table. She looked more than a little annoyed.

"That bitch! How did she get her claws into your Dad already?"

"You haven't even heard the best part yet." I replied, almost laughing at my words. Puck was sitting across from us at the table looking equally as shocked. It was known to pretty much all my friends that Simone and I didn't get along too well, but I didn't bother to tell them the intricate details. To be honest it was kind of an irrational thing – she was there, she wasn't my mum... Plus I had to be all nice to her and shit, which me being me, wasn't exactly fun,

"What?"

"She has two kids."

"No way." Suddenly Puck joined in the conversation, leaning forward and looking intrigued. "You never met them before?"

"No."

"Are they hot?"

"_Puck_! One of them is a dude!" Suddenly the irony of what I had just said hit me. For a second I was caught off balance but managed to hide my thoughts and continue. "And they're like fifteen and eight, butt ugly too."

"Ah." Now realising he wasn't going to get any action Puck became less interested, but still stayed a part of the conversation. "And they're staying with you too?"

"Yeah. We're clearing out the spare room so they can all play happy families." It had taken an hour to get me out of the bathroom – Dad had literally threatened to break the door down if I didn't open it. We'd had a huge fight that had ended with me breaking something yet again, but eventually I'd been left to stew in my own room. I wasn't sharing my house with them. I barely enjoyed sharing it with my Dad anymore.

"That's shit."

"It's not just shit! It's fucking ridiculous!" Quinn was looking like she wanted to go over and start a fight right now – if I wasn't so depressed I probably would have found it hot. "I'm gonna kill that bitch." Sighing again I pushed the remainder of my food away and she immediately brought her hands up to my neck.

"Oh Blaine. You know you can always stay at mine if you want…" She began to stroke the hairs at the back and in a flash I was suddenly brought back to the cupboard.

"No!" Both my friends jumped back, Quinn taking her hands away and Puck holding his up in defence. "I mean, um, I can't. My Dad would kill me." Shit. Luckily the two of them seemed to take that reply as good enough, everyone went back to their eating and I cursed myself yet again for my ridiculous life.

* * *

><p>When my phone buzzed in Trig it was the best news I'd received all day.<p>

**Do you want to meet up today?**

Hell yes I did. All the tension and angst had built up inside me and I was killing for a release. Texting back a swift yes I tried to hide the rush of pleasure that coursed through me as I thought of what would happen. My dick even began to harden.

**Meet me at 19a 22nd Street 4pm**

Wait what? I stared at the text, wondering if somehow it had been sent to the wrong person. What happened to the cupboard? I had been beginning to like that place. Putting my phone away I waited for another message to buzz, but none came. Maybe we were relocating. As the bell rang I hurriedly packed up my things, ran to my car and drove off.

* * *

><p>The address was a house. Or at least it was in a housing estate. I drove round with wary eyes, scanning every sign and building I passed. It didn't look very rich, but it wasn't too shabby either. Kind of like our neighbourhood. There were neighbourhood watch signs up everywhere though and I figured these were the kind of bastards that knew everything about everyone. They probably knew there were gays around – celebrated them even. Maybe this was gang-bang central.<p>

When I pulled up outside the address I checked my phone and the number three times, wanting to be absolutely sure. This was definitely it. It seemed like an ordinary house, nothing fishy. I was still cautious of everything though, especially getting out of the car. My brain thought about bailing several times and my feet nearly joined it, but the notion of what was inside and how much I was craving it spurred me on.

* * *

><p>Once I'd built up the courage to surface into the afternoon air I pulled my hood up to hide my face and stalked towards the door, ringing the doorbell and then practically flattening my body against it so nobody would notice my clothes. Kurt was more than a little surprised when he opened it.<p>

"Er, hi?" I almost fell in the door, letting out a small shout as I lost my balance and then regaining it quickly, cursing. Well that was smooth.

"Why are you so nervous?"

"Is this your house?" I ignored the question, asking my own and my friend nodded. Pulling up my hood some more I glanced nervously around the area behind me. Who knew if there was some creepy bastard out there with his binoculars right now.

"What are we doing here?"

"I figured…I figured we could do with a little more privacy." Suddenly Kurt looked nervous – his face flushed in the most adorable way and I was in that instant overcome with a desire to reach out my hand and hold his. Our fingers touched and the electricity fizzled and crackled. The feeling made me jerk back but my friend was still smiling.

"Is anyone here?" Immediately he shook his head.

"No. Carol's in Westerville and my Dad works late. Finn's visiting his Dad." Ok, so there was definitely nobody in the house. I was still uneasy with the situation but was willing to cooperate if it got me what I wanted.

"Ok. Shall we go inside?" The question was more a hint than an actual suggestion - Kurt sensed my intention and moved to the side of the door.

"Yes."

* * *

><p>Once the door was shut behind us I immediately relaxed. Suddenly the feelings I had been keeping pent up inside me all day were released and I stepped forward, looking to pull Kurt into a kiss, but to my surprise he held his hands in the way.<p>

"Hey, wait till we get upstairs." Taking my hand he began to lead me down the hall and I dutifully followed. For a second doubt suddenly crossed my mind. Should I be doing this? Was it ok for me to be in some guys house, being taken to a random room? Half of me knew I was being stupid, but the other was unsure. Kurt could really be some crazy dude that was about to murder me.

Unfortunately my sexual desire was too great to warrant stopping anything, so we reached the top of the stairs and headed into a medium sized room. The walls were a pale blue and everything was immaculately furnished – suddenly I wondered if this was a show house that we were crashing. Before I had time to ask any questions though my hand holding onto Kurt's was suddenly jerked forwards and I fell crashing into his body. As soon as our lips connected all my worries and nerves went flying away.

Kurt exhaled, immediately bringing his hands to twine around my neck like he usually did and I responded in my equally similar way, wrapping them around his waist tightly. I could feel his hip bones and pressed my fingers into them, revelling in the groans that rang out through the room from the movement. Suddenly it occurred to me that we weren't in a public place – unless this really was a show home we were in an abode and therefore free to make practically as much noise as we wanted.

Holy hell.

* * *

><p>Revelling in this new information I suddenly went to push Kurt towards the wall (my favourite place to make out with him) but he countered, pushing back with a strength I didn't know he had. I went to protest but then my legs hit the back of the bed and a strangled cry escaped from my throat instead as we fell backwards. Once we were horizontal Kurt fastened his lips back onto mine, now more earnest than ever, and started making little groaning noises as he clambered on top of me. Shit. This was freaking amazing.<p>

As Kurt reached a full straddling position I reached out my hands to run down his back, feeling the ridges of his spine as he bucked and writhed and then grabbing down hard on his ass. A loud moan escaped from his lips and the forceful push down that followed milliseconds after made me cry out too. Jesus, this was almost more than I could take.

"_Kurt_." I breathed, shortly followed by more moans and gasps so I was unable to continue for about a minute. "Kurt…I need…you…" Understanding where I was going my friend slipped his hand in between our writhing bodies, the movement almost constant now with how hot we both were for each other, and palmed my incredibly hard erection roughly.

"FUCK!" Sweet Jesus that felt fucking amazing. My grip on his ass tightened, almost pushing his hand down further and Kurt groaned back.

"Oh _Blaine_…"

"More! More!" I felt the pressure again and screamed out louder, every cell in my brain practically begging for him to unzip me and start the real work. "Hands…cock…" Finally Kurt got the message and suddenly I was free. I was free and the split second of relief was then overtaken by a searing rush of intense and utter pleasure.

"OHGOD!" Kurt laughed, leaning down to kiss me again, but I couldn't really kiss back, my mouth slack and the moans spilling out uncontrollably. "Kurt! _Kurt_!" He'd felt his way under my boxers and gripped hold of me strongly, immediately beginning to pump so my hips bucked up out of the own accord and our stomachs smashed together. The pleasure running though me was electric – suddenly my grip wasn't tight enough – I dug my fingers in further and made Kurt moan, just as the actions his digits were making elicited the same response for me. As the coiling in my stomach rose, so did the movement, faster and more vigorous until my whole body felt like it was on fire, like it was about to explode.

"Can't…hold…any…longer…" As my words panted out, almost strained by the sheer intensity of the emotions I was going through, Kurt ran the length of his nail down the underside of my cock. It was the last straw and I came hard and fast, screaming his name.

* * *

><p>My orgasm seemed to last forever – a huge explosion of adrenalin and release that hovered over me like a blanket and kept me wrapped in the high for what seemed like hours. When I floated back down to earth Kurt seemed equally as exhausted, his whole body slumped over me with his hand still firmly wedged down my pants. His nose was pressed into my cheek and he was still breathing heavily. As I moved slightly to show I was back he rolled off me, his hand slipping out and then flopping onto the bed beside him. I could feel myself beginning to get sticky and realised this was another pair of jeans I had ruined.<p>

"Woah Blaine." Kurt breathed. The way he said my name still sent shivers down my spine. I still couldn't decide if it sounded better during or after. I shifted my head over slightly to see him staring up at the ceiling, a slightly glazed look on his face. His right hand was flexing slightly and he absentmindedly brought it up to his face, licking at the fingers lightly before he suddenly turned to look at me.

"Do you want something to eat?"

* * *

><p>As I walked down the stairs my legs were embarrassingly shaky and my mind was whirring. That was possibly the best orgasm I'd had in my life. Kurt had set off pleasure senses in me that hadn't been explored in my wildest dreams, not even through our exploits in the cupboard. And we'd barely been touching. Properly touching that is. I shuddered to even think what it would be like if his mouth got anywhere near me.<p>

The kitchen was as neat as the rest of his house and Kurt walked quickly over to the kettle and switched it on.

"Coffee?"

"Yes." Coffee. I definitely needed coffee. I couldn't understand why he was so calm about all this – did this kind of thing happen all the time? I knew the experience was totally new for me, but surely he had some sort of emotions running through him? I watched him switch on the tap, running his hand underneath to clean it properly, before drying on a nearby towel.

"So what do you want?" The question caught me off guard, especially as I'd just been staring earnestly at his fingers, replaying all the memories in my head over and over again. I shook my head, trying to bring myself back to reality and Kurt smiled.

"We have grilled cheese…or grilled cheese." Ah. So there wasn't actually a choice. As I just stared back blankly his grin widened and he waltzed over to the fridge, which I was standing in front of. As he motioned for me to move out of the way and I did so our arms brushed and I involuntarily let out a gasp.

"Are you ok?" Shit. Kurt had noticed. He was looking at me with those piercing eyes, the ones that just made me think of sex and sex.

"Aren't you finding this weird?" The words blurted out of my mouth before I could stop them. My friend looked confused.

"Finding what weird?"

"You know – _this_. The fact that we just had amazing sex and now we're down in the kitchen like nothing happened?" I saw his mouth quirk up at the mention of amazing sex (something which I hadn't actually meant to say, but was definitely true) but he managed to straighten it again seconds later.

"This is what I do." Kurt replied, rummaging around in the fridge for what he wanted and then pulling it out. "When I'm happy – I eat." At this my eyes glanced over his slender body – something that didn't look like it saw fatty food a lot.

"You can't be happy all that much."

"Well I do go to your school." With a knowing smile he shut the fridge and I was rendered speechless yet again. This was such another world – a world I'd never really been introduced to. Here it was possible to have fun without being at a keg party surrounded by topless girls, to just get by without worrying about what people thought about you, to get kicks out of making a grilled cheese sandwich. It was…normal.

* * *

><p>As Kurt began to butter the slices of bread he'd fetched from a crock on the side he switched the radio on, beckoning me over with his free hand. I walked slowly over, not really knowing where to stand and then he motioned to the grill.<p>

"Switch that on please." Immediately I responded, my hand fumbling momentarily on the dial before turning it and then bringing myself back upright again. Kurt smiled, pulling me in closer again so my chest bumped softly against his shoulder and resting his head lightly in the base of my neck. I breathed in his scent quietly and watched him leave the butter and begin to sprinkle grated cheese on the slices.

"Oh!" Suddenly a song came on the radio that he recognised – one that I knew well too. Quinn liked to play it an annoying amount of times and then describe to me the things we could do with Santana Lopez if I really wanted.

"This was never the way I planned, not my intention" Kurt stopped sprinkling the cheese and brought a bit up to my mouth. As he sung the first lyrics he placed some inside and I chewed it slowly.

"I got so brave, drink in hand, lost my discretion." He began to dance and I swallowed loudly, my eyes scanning from the way his lips sang the words to how his hips were currently moving.

"It's not what, I'm used to. Just, wanna try you on." Suddenly hands were on my chest, running up slowly to my collarbones and then resting there, the rest of his body moving in closer.

"I'm curious for you, caught my attention. I kissed a boy and I liked it-" With these final lyrics he leant in and kissed me, a slight giggle on his lips and I got the joke.

"_Hey_." I replied, pulling away but only after we'd kissed for a considerable time. "_Not funny_."

"But you _did_!" Kurt grinned again, bringing his hands away from my chest slowly and picking up the bread pieces to place them in the grill. As the rest of the song played I shook my head and rested against the kitchen side. This was weird. So weird. I was having _fun_.

* * *

><p>"My Dad's girlfriend is moving in." Suddenly Kurt looked up again. For a second I was confused, before I realised that the words had come out of my mouth without me even realising.<p>

"What?" Oh yeah. I forgot he knew actually nothing about my life. Other than the fact I pretended I was straight.

"Um, my dad, has a girlfriend. And she's moving in." My friend got up from his crouched position by the grill, standing in front of me and looking at me with concerned eyes.

"Oh. Are you happy about this?"

"No." It was funny. The anger that bubbled inside of me every time I thought of Simone and my new so called 'family' was still there. But it wasn't rushing to the surface like it normally did.

"Why not?" I looked back up at Kurt, almost confused by the question.

"Well…" This was easy. I knew why I didn't want this – I had so many reasons I couldn't decide which one to say first. The union of this family was possibly the worst thing to happen in my life ever. "…I don't like her." My friend laughed.

"You don't _like_ her?"

"Yeah."

"The girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Again I was stumped. Kurt didn't look like he was attacking me – there wasn't any sense of disbelief or venom in his eyes. He was just curious.

"Well, because…she's evil." Another laugh.

"She's _evil_?"

"Yeah! Well, not evil – she's just around all the time and she looks at me with these sad pathetic eyes that say love me and I don't want to love her because she's poisoning my Dad." There was a silence. I waited for Kurt to say something and he pondered his answer for a while.

"And that makes her evil?"

"Yes." Why wasn't he agreeing? Every other person I told this to just nodded their head and called her a bitch, even if they'd never met her before. That was how you reacted.

"Have you actually tried talking to her?"

"_No_." I scoffed at the question. "She's all old and boring. We have nothing in common."

"Do you and your Dad have things in common?"

"Yeah." Of course we did. A wild temper, the tendency to hurt the ones we loved…

"Well he's old."

"But he's my _Dad_." Kurt sighed, running a hand through his deep brown hair, before resting it lightly across mine.

"I know it's hard accepting a new family member into your house. I wasn't exactly jumping for joy when Carol was first introduced." For a second my brain processed the name before I faintly remembered the name of Finn Hudson's mum. "But you learn. And it can actually turn out for the better." I felt pressure on my hand and looked down, before glancing back up to see Kurt smiling softly. I shouldn't be allowing this. I shouldn't be allowing him to council me. But somehow it was working.

"What happened to your real mum?" At the sound of another question my ears sprung to attention again, but it was one I didn't want to hear. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"She died." The words murmured from my lips and I heard Kurt sigh again. "Car accident."

"Mine died too." He replied, also looking solemn. "Cancer." The pressure on my hand was felt again and I closed my eyes, trying to block the pain away.

* * *

><p>Suddenly my walls came up.<p>

"This doesn't change anything." My hand flashed away and Kurt looked surprised, a little shocked even. "Just because both our mum's died doesn't mean you have any kind of hold over me. We're not the same." I backed over to the other side of the room bracing myself against the counter and even looking around for something to hold. Kurt didn't move. He didn't say anything. He simply sighed again, a long deep sigh different from all the others – like a person who's dealt with the same problems over and over again they just become unsolvable – and looked down at the floor.

Shit.

"Sorry." Kurt looked up but still didn't reply. I could see the hurt in his eyes and it killed me. My feet took two steps back towards him but my brain wouldn't let me go any further – still battling against the territory we were headed to, scared of how I was feeling.

"Shit. I just…" At this I sensed some kind of reaction. Even with all I had just said my hesitation affected something in Kurt – made him instantly care. "Why do you do this?" I received another blank stare. My feet let me travel an extra few steps forward and I leant against the centre table, pushing down on it firmly and bowing my head before bringing it up again.

"Why do you put up with me? I mean, I don't exactly treat you right – I treat you like shit. And you pretty much get beaten up every day at McKinley. Why do you even bother?" Kurt laughed. It was a strange laugh – his breath seemed to catch in his throat so it sounded strangled – almost like he was crying at the same time.

"Is it for the sex?" Suddenly the idea caught in my brain – I felt concern and a touch of anger spread across my features but Kurt immediately shook his head.

"No! No of course not." He took a few steps forward towards me, narrowing the gap between us so I felt my heartbeat quicken slightly as it so often did. "The sex is great, amazing even, but it's not the only thing."

"Then _why_?" Kurt looked at me, that same intense gaze I never got tired of and made my fists clench.

"I guess," He closed another few steps, running his finger along the table as he spoke, "that for some _strange_ reason, I really really like you. _A lot_." He smiled and I smiled back, unable to contain myself. "And also, I just think I can help you. You're lost and you need guidance – I want to be that person to give it to you. I think you deserve it." Suddenly the remaining distance was closed – I felt a hand brush against my arm and sighed, letting the fingers link with mine and then feeling another run through my hair.

"I know I've been a little pushy with you at first," Kurt continued as I closed my eyes and snuggled into his touch, almost falling asleep, "but I never did anything I didn't think you truly wanted. I never would."

"I know." As I murmured my reply I knew what I was saying was right – despite all the hatred I had felt for Kurt and the way I felt about him – he was only ever doing it for me. As a breath of hot air brushed against my lips I opened them slightly and waited to feel the touch...

The timer for the grilled cheese went off and I groaned in annoyance.


	8. The Dad

_Ok it's finally here_

_This chapter is super late I know. I tried to do as much writing as possible whilst I was away, but I was so darn exhausted all the time I didn't get half as much done as I wanted. Also it's kinda hard to write smut with a bunch of 12 year olds sitting near you :D_

_But it's here now. Enjoy!_

_Also - because I missed her birthday whilst I was away and her present is going to take a jagillion years to make - this chapter is dedicated to my friend Val :D_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8 - The Dad<strong>

The next few weeks passed quickly. Kurt and I continued to meet up at our new location, continued to fool around and continued to keep it all a complete secret. I wasn't quite sure when the change from experimenting to actually enjoying what we were doing had happened, but all I knew was that my attraction towards my friend was beginning to grow stronger – not least because time with him meant less at home with my annoying new family.

Simone and I still weren't seeing eye-to-eye, despite my Dad's many and sometimes vigorous attempts to get us to socialise, and Dean and Tiffanie were as pathetic and useless as I'd first deduced. They seemed only really interested in school and didn't have many friends. I wasn't surprised. The amount of 'family' outings we'd been forced to go with coupled with Kurt meant I couldn't spend half as much time with my other friends and I should have – something which annoyed Quinn to no end, but made for some amazing anger sex when we did meet.

* * *

><p>It was time.<p>

I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling and smiling. The rest of the house was quiet – everyone else off doing meaningless things or shooting themselves in the face – I didn't care. This was my time.

I unzipped my pants and closed my eyes, ready to get my mind into the zone and start the fantasy.

I was lying on my bed, still in my room. All the blinds were drawn and the lights were on low. I could smell the faint scent of aftershave lingering in the air, probably from me. As I went to look down a hand pushed my head back and I grinned, before another one dipped down into my boxers and began to move. _Oh_. Oh God. That felt so good.

I let one of my hands grip into the bed sheets, tugging them up and down along with the rhythm of the hand on my dick and moaned softly in unison. Oh yes, _there_, right _there_. I rolled my head back and then glanced down, wanting to see the face of Quinn or the last cheerio I'd thought of – the person that was giving me all this intense pleasure.

Kurt smiled back at me.

* * *

><p>Instantly my eyes flashed open. My hand shot out of my pants, almost recoiling, and then to my complete horror I noticed a figure standing in the now open doorway.<p>

"AAAAH!" Dean jumped, shock flashing across his face, but the expression was nothing compared to mine. Shock and sheer anger.

"GET OUT!" The words screamed out of my mouth, one hand hastily feeling around for a pillow whilst the other covered my crotch. "DON'T YOU FUCKERS KNOW HOW TO KNOCK?" Why was he even here? He wasn't supposed to be home – he wasn't supposed to be anywhere near my room. Especially when I was having fantasies about the one person I never thought I would.

"Were you jerking off?" Dean asked, completely oblivious to the fact I was going ballistic at him and seeming quite astounded.

"GET THE FUCK OUT." To my sheer amazement he closed the door and walked into the room.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone." Oh my God, What was this kid doing? Firstly, he was in my room. Secondly, he thought it was ok for him to be there. I finally found a pillow and smacked it across me, although now there wasn't really much to hide anymore.

"I won't even tell Mum, and I tell her everything." Jesus Christ. I ran my clean hand through my hair but didn't say anything. "You're older so you do that. Do you do it a lot?" Again silence rang across the room. To be honest I wanted to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the whole situation.

Realising he wasn't going to get an answer Dean took a few more confident steps forward. Really I should have applauded him for simply having the balls - especially since I'd barely spoken three words to him that weren't 'fuck off' or 'move'. And oh my God he was sitting on the bed. I actually moved my foot away so it wasn't touching him.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," he began, still completely oblivious to how out of order and insane this was, "because we're kind of brothers now, and brothers give each other advice." Light grey eyes looked up at me, almost in adoration and I had to stop myself from retching. So my new brother wanted advice. How about learn to stay the fuck out of my room.

"I've been having these thoughts recently, about this friend of mine in my biology class. _Sexual_ thoughts." Dean had continued again, still pressing forward with his crusade for knowledge, but the way he said the word 'sexual' made me snort. Ok, so he obviously wasn't getting any with that face. But still. I saw his eyes flicker with hurt, but another deep breath later he carried on.

"And they've been getting more and more frequent over the last few weeks. I tried to ignore them because it's odd, but now I can't do it any more. So I was wondering…" Ok. So this was some biology geeks with braces and the Himalayas on her face, I'd tell him to drop it and move on, and then this whole mess of a conversation could be pushed into the back of my mind to rot away.

"…have you ever thought about a boy?"

* * *

><p>My whole body froze.<p>

The reaction must have been visible, because Dean suddenly looked worried – his hand moving towards my foot. Before it touched I jerked away violently, almost bringing my knees up to my chest. He had _not_ just said that.

"Blaine?" _No_. This was not happening. Not after what had just occurred. Kurt's face suddenly flashed into my mind – his joyful grin as he jerked me off, jerked me off in my own fantasy that never included any boys. This had to be some kind of set up. Something by Simone, a test to see of I really was what she thought.

"Blaine? Are you gay too?" Immediately I was brought back into the room. Dean had reached out another hand to touch my arm and this time my lashing out made contact – he let out a cry of pain but I ignored it.

"No! I am not _gay_! Get away from me!" My insecurity was being channelled into anger – the sheer fear of being discovered causing me to completely flip. Suddenly it wasn't enough for Dean to be across the room, he needed to be gone. Far away where the sight of his face wouldn't remind me of who I was.

"Get out! Get out you fucking freak!" Marching over I went to grab hold of him but my half brother had finally realised the danger. He ran towards the door, tears dribbling down his face and yanked it open – only to run straight into Simone.

* * *

><p>"Hey! What on earth is going on?" Oh great. She was here too. I felt my anger spin completely out of control.<p>

"Your son just came in here and told me he's a fucking FAG!" The word spat from my mouth, the word I was so afraid of people calling me. "Now he's trying to poison me too!" I expected Simone to immediately show her secret, to look disappointed or at least a little shock about her child's sudden revelation. Instead she seemed worried.

"Sssh! Be quiet Blaine!" Suddenly she moved to come inside the room, trying to shut the door. My hand smacked across the frame.

"_Oh_ no! Don't you _dare_ come in here! I want you and your freak son OUT OF HERE!"

"BLAINE!" The tone was so sudden and so harsh that for a second I was struck dumb. Immediately after she had spoken Simone's face softened.

"I know. I know about this." What? She _knew_? "Dean told me a while ago, I think he just wanted some advice from another man. I'm sorry." All of a sudden my brain was buzzing, a million things needing to be processed. So Simone knew her son was gay, had known for quite a while. Why wasn't she angry? Why hadn't Dean been cast out onto the street, never to return? Didn't she _mind_? My half mother seemed to take my reaction as one of shock over the revelation, so placed her hand lightly on my arm to comfort me. For once I didn't flinch. It didn't matter that her son was gay…

"Please don't tell James." Instantly I flashed back into reality.

"What?" What did my Dad have to do with this?

"Please. We're not sure how he would react and…" Suddenly it clicked. Simone reached out to grab hold of Dean, pulled him close and held him tightly. The realisation slowly spread over me, the realisation that she was scared of her own boyfriend's reaction to her son. My Dad. A gay son.

"You won't tell him, will you?" I flicked my eyes back to the pair – displaying more love between them in that moment than I had given or received in the last two years.

"No."

* * *

><p>The room was empty. My foot tapped against the leg of the table I was perched on over and over again. It was 12:47pm.<p>

This was risky. We weren't supposed to meet during school time and I'd had to fake a lunchtime detention to Puck and Quinn. But I needed to talk to him.

The door suddenly opened and my head jerked round. When Kurt's figure appeared I immediately jumped up and ran over, waiting until it was locked before throwing my arms around him.

"Blaine! What on earth's wrong?" For a few seconds I didn't respond, digging my face into his shoulder and breathing in the scent, the scent that instantly made me feel calm and safe. Then Kurt moved us to sit down on a table and I resurfaced.

"Blaine, please tell me what's wrong – you're scaring me." I felt a hand gently cup my chin to bring it upwards and I stared once again into deep blue eyes, filled with concern.

"I'm sorry, I know we shouldn't be doing this. But I just needed to talk to you." I saw my friend's expression overwhelm with emotion as he sighed, the thumb of the hand under my face brushing lightly across my cheek.

"I'm always here, you can tell my anything. What is it?" I brought up the courage to begin.

"Dean is gay."

"Who's Dean?"

"Simone's son. My kind of brother." I looked for the reaction and got one of understanding.

"Well that's fine. Isn't it?" Kurt now had one hand in my lap resting over mine and the other playing with the hair on the back of my neck – it was amazingly relaxing but the hurt still seeped through.

"He just came and told me. Right there, in my room. And he wanted _advice_."

"Well that's what little brothers do. Ask their big brothers for advice."

"But I can't help him! I'm…I'm…" I faltered and Kurt squeezed my hand, wanting me to continue but not forcing anything.

"And then Simone came in and I was flipping out, but she knew. She knew and she was ok with it."

"She knew?" At this even my friend seemed surprised – I nodded and his eyebrows raised. "Wow."

"I know." The realisation that my kind of step mother might not actually be the witch I had painted her to be was hard to take for me too. "But she told me not to tell my Dad." This was it. The thing that hurt the most. More than Dean flaunting his homosexuality in front of me, more than hiding and lying to everyone around me. Kurt immediately understood.

"Oh Blaine." Suddenly I felt tears begin to form in my eyes – I let out a noise of surprise and his eyes flashed over. I hadn't cried in weeks.

"You're worried that your Dad won't accept you for…for…" Even he couldn't finish the sentence. We sat there in silence for a while, hands touching, minds thinking. I couldn't decide whether to be upset over my problems or happy that I finally had someone to share them with.

"You know you might not actually be gay." Suddenly I looked up, confused by Kurt's words.

"What?"

"Well, have you found any other guys attractive?" My eyebrows raised. Had I? I hadn't exactly been looking – most of my energy had been spent trying to repel such feelings, not encourage them.

"No." Kurt seemed relieved. "Do you think it's just you?"

"I don't know. But to be brutally honest I don't really want to test the theory." He smiled awkwardly, blushing and I smiled back, before suddenly noticing the clock.

"Shit, we have to go." I said the words but didn't really follow through with them. Kurt sighed, squeezing my hand tightly as he stood up.

"Are you still coming over tonight?"

"Er, hell yes." I watched him smile and then pulled him in close for a kiss, revelling in the way he pushed me back against the desk and snaked a hand round my back.

"See you then." I held on for as long as I possibly could, surveying him walking away and then counting the minutes until I could follow.

* * *

><p>Now whenever I walked up to the Hummel-Hudson house the pace was brisk and excited. My hood was down but I had a hat wedged over my head – part of our new routine. Kurt answered the door after my second knock and I gave him a nod as I strolled past, immediately heading up the stairs to his room. When I dropped my bag and turned round he was already there, shutting the door behind him and then launching himself onto me. My hat was torn off – discarded across the room in its usual fashion and then my coat swiftly followed as I was pushed towards the bed. We'd refined the process over the past few weeks and it got better every time.<p>

As my back thunked against the mattress Kurt climbed on top of me, straddling his legs either side and immediately beginning to rock. I was already hard and the movement sent a moan spiralling out of my mouth, cut off seconds later by a tongue down my throat. My friend explored my mouth with ease and his hands ran down my chest, before he suddenly stopped mid way and I wondered what the problem was. Then he began fiddling with my buttons and I understood. Well t_hat_ was fine with me.

Once my shirt was off Kurt let me pull off his – I wanted us to continue but this was far too exciting to pass by. My eyes raked across his slight but defined chest, marvelling at the way his fine muscles tensed as he moved. We hadn't seen each other like this since the first time we'd met, and without the alcohol clouding my vision he truly was beautiful. I wasn't given much time to stare however – Kurt's face dipped down to begin licking down my neck, then he reached my chest and found a nipple, taking in between his teeth. I shrieked and he laughed, swirling his tongue round before transferring to the other one. My whole body felt like it was on fire, my hairs standing up on end and my extremities burning with lust.

"Kurt, _fuck_ Kurt!" My own hands had dug into his shoulder blades, probably leaving little marks as I desperately tried to get a hold on the emotions I was going through, the feelings I wanted to express. My friend suddenly brought his head back up to mine and I moaned in disappointment.

"No! Don't stop!" Kurt smiled, kissing me again before pushing my hands up with his own so my arms were pinned to the bed. He brought his lips to my ear and whispered seductively.

"_I want to suck you off_."

* * *

><p>I almost came right there and then. There were no words to express my reply so I simply let out a moan and then pushed his head downwards, my pelvis already bucking up at the sheer thought. Kurt began to make his way slowly down me again, his hand reaching ahead of his mouth to unzip my pants and get me ready. I wanted to help but I literally couldn't do anything. I kept closing my eyes, but tried to lift my head to see what was about to happen, to watch as all my dreams came true.<p>

"_Kurt_?"

* * *

><p>SHIT.<p>

My eyes flashed open, more open than they'd ever been before. Then I moved, scrabbling up the bed as fast as I could go whilst one hand yanked up my zip and the other grabbed hold of my shirt. As I pulled it over my head my knees pressed up to my chest to hide my erection and then, only then did I let myself look at the scene before me.

Kurt's Dad was standing in the doorway.

I'd seen him a couple of times before, at pep rallies watching Finn or when my Dad had needed to get his car fixed. I was pretty sure he didn't really remember me, or if he did it was only as the douche bag jock who was captain of the football team. He almost certainly however wouldn't have expected to see me in bed with his son.

"_What is this_?" My eyes glanced over to Kurt, for the first time taking in his reaction. He hadn't made any attempt to get dressed like me, but he did seem very shocked.

"Dad! Wait!" I saw Mr Hummel look at me, his eyes filled with accusation so I immediately scrambled further up the bed.

"Get out of this house." Without needing to be told twice I jumped up, reaching instantly for my coat, but suddenly I felt a hand on my arm.

"No. Blaine stay here. Dad please just let me explain!" I shot Kurt a flabbergasted look, almost unable to believe he was trying to fight this, but then he shoved me back down onto the bed and got up.

"_Stay here_. Dad!" He ran off to catch up Mr Hummel, who had now stalked off in a rage and the door slammed behind him.

* * *

><p>Fuck.<p>

What the hell had just happened? Kurt's dad had caught us, pants down and all. He was probably already organising my funeral and Kurt would be joining him too if he wasn't careful.

_Fuck._

Sure I'd been caught before. Sometimes it was kind of fun and once the cheerio had even joined in, but this was different. This was a parent. Of a boy.

Suddenly I jumped to my feet. I wasn't going to stick around for this. I knew about angry Dad's and the argument never ended well. If Kurt was going to make this worse I didn't want to join him. My hand scrambled for my coat and I yanked it onto my arms, my bag was retrieved but I couldn't be bothered to go searching for my hat – I probably wouldn't need it now anyway. As I scanned the room for exits my gaze rested on the window and I ran over to check the drop. It was considerable, but nothing I hadn't handled before. My fingers fiddled around with the catch and I had it half open, one of my legs sticking out into the afternoon air when Kurt returned.

"Blaine!" Immediately he rushed over, reaching to drag me out of the window. I wasn't far enough in to make a safe escape so I let him, cursing myself for not being faster.

"You were trying to leave?"

"Well what the fuck man?" I replied, throwing my arms in the air in frustration. "What the _fuck_ just happened?"

"Blaine…"

"I thought you said your Dad was at work!"

"He came home early – there was a power cut. Blaine please calm down-"

"I can't fucking calm down! HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!" If word got out of this I was done. Who knew what circles Mr Hummel ran in, who he talked to. Or even Carol.

"_Blaine_." I felt hands on my shoulders, half restraining half reassuring. "He is not going to kill you. My Dad knows I have boyfriends, he's just…never caught me with any of them." So I was Kurt's boyfriend now? This was all too much. The urge to bolt was still coursing through me – the sense that things weren't going my way freaking me out. Things like this never happened to me – the parents never found out. I'd never had to worry about a father in my entire life.

"Come down and talk to him – you'll see." Oh _hell no_.

"I can't do this." Lunging one final time towards the door I broke free of one of Kurt's hands, but the other gripped on tightly and yanked me to a stop.

"If you leave now you'll just be the douche bag he's expecting." Finally I stopped fighting. My friend's eyes stared back at me, those eyes that never once gave up on me or let me go. He was right. I was a douche bag. But this was the one chance to prove that I could not be.

"_Fine_." With a sigh I let my shoulders sag down – Kurt's face lit up and he threw his arms around me, giving me a quick hug before releasing himself and pulling us towards the door.

* * *

><p>My palms began to sweat as we walked down the stairs. Kurt's hand was still holding mine and he gave it a reassuring squeeze, making me smile weakly. I was not looking forward to this <em>at all<em>. We reached the door to the kitchen and the bolting urge rose up again, but I pushed it away and took a deep breath.

Mr Hummel was at the grill when we entered – ironically a scene of one of his son and mine's rendezvous. He seemed to be making burgers and the meaty smell that wafted over combined with the scenario made me feel sick.

"Hi Dad…" Kurt said meekly. His Dad looked up and I saw his brows furrow as he cast his eyes upon me. Right now the tag of douche bag was looking pretty darn appealing.

"He always has burgers when he's stressed." I looked back at my friend and saw him desperately trying to lighten the conversation, but failing miserably. Great. So now I'd made his Dad stressed. What was it with the Hummel's and eating with emotions? Suddenly I felt a pinch on my hand and looked back again to see Kurt signalling something to me. Oh – so I had to go over…

"Um…I'm Blaine." With laboured steps that made me want to commit suicide more and more with every one, I walked up to Mr Hummel, held out my hand and tried to look as friendly and un-douche-bagy as possible. The tallish man with a baseball cap still wedged on his head and overalls with dried splashes of oil turned to look at me – really look at me – and then begrudgingly shook my hand. Well that wasn't so bad.

"Burt. Do you want a burger?" For a second the question caught me off guard. I didn't know if it was code for anything so turned back to Kurt for guidance. He nodded his head furiously and I got the picture.

"Um, yes please." Mr Hummel sighed, an exasperated sigh that made it seem like he didn't want me to have a burger at all, and flipped the patties over.

* * *

><p>Kurt and I sat awkwardly next to each other on the table as the burgers were dished out. They looked freakin amazing, my stomach suddenly remembering how hungry it was, but as the server sat opposite us it was hard to shake the feeling that we were about to be interrogated. Kurt picked up a knife and fork and began to cut into his meal, surprising me slightly with the action, and for a second my eyes fell once again on his arms and how defined the muscles were. No Blaine. Now was not the time to be perving.<p>

"So how long have you two been together?" I almost choked on my mouthful. Mr Hummel's eyebrows immediately furrowed again, and I hurriedly went to swallow.

"Um, well, we're not exactly-"

"-Not long. A few weeks." My gaze flashed over to Kurt. He was trying to look as nonchalant as possible, not making eye contact and smiling weakly. Ok…

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" Another question was asked and I returned my attention to senior Hummel again. Did he ever take off that damn baseball cap?

"Er, yeah. I'm on the football team. With Finn." This time I was trying to be nonchalant – I knew where the statement would take everyone's thoughts. Jock. Not exactly the gay type.

"Oh, yes…" You could almost see the cogs whirring in Mr Hummel's head. Kurt suddenly rubbed his foot gently against mine under the table and I flinched, before realising it was supposed to be supportive and relaxing. I suppose this wasn't too bad. Nobody had been shot yet.

"Are you guys using protection?" This time I really did choke. A hand was sent slapping against my back and I gripped onto the table as the piece of meat went flying across the room, landing just in front of Mr Hummel's plate.

"Dad!" Oh God. Get me out of here.

"What? I'm just looking out for my son. Are you?" Kurt seemed almost as flustered as me. I was just aiming on keeping my mouth shut to avoid saying anything that would get my ass kicked.

"We're not…we're…yes. We are." Silence descended over the room. I felt like my head was about to explode with embarrassment.

"Good." My Hummel nodded his head, took another bite of his burger and chewed thoughtfully.

* * *

><p>I'd practically ran to the bathroom.<p>

Surely meeting the parents was never like this. Granted you never normally met them half naked with your friend about to blow you, but even so. I tried to calm myself down, remind myself that this was all worth it for Kurt. Hey – if his Dad knew about us maybe we'd be able to hang out more. As I stared around the immaculate bathroom I noticed a picture of a dress hanging on the wall, next to a plant pot with some kind of european-looking tree in it. Wanting to kill as much time as possible I walked towards it and surveyed it carefully. It looked like a photo, but it wasn't. It was a drawing. The squiggle of a name at the bottom told me Kurt was definitely good at art.

Five minutes later when I'd finally brought up the courage to re-emerge I had my speech planned. I would quietly excuse myself – say I had some essential paper due that couldn't wait. Mr Hummel couldn't argue with that. And I would deal with Kurt later. As I walked back towards the kitchen I was still going over the final details when I suddenly heard something that made me stop.

"Dad please – give him a chance." Flattening myself against the wall incase any shadow could be seen I listened carefully.

"The kid is weird. He doesn't dress like a gay guy."

"Not _all_ gay guys dress like me. But he's also not exactly…"

"_Kurt_." I felt myself cringe.

"He's in denial ok! Well half denial. I think I'm the only person he opens up to about it." I heard the sound of sighing and shifted slightly closer to the door, my attention now fixed solely on the conversation.

"Son, this is wrong. This kid shouldn't be hiding behind you. Someone should talk to his parents-"

"-No!" It was lucky my friend had had the same thought – I'd been unable to stop the quiet shout that had expelled from my mouth. The fact he had spoken the same words though surprised me.

"Dad you _cannot_ tell anyone. Not even Carol, not even Finn. _Especially_ not Finn. If anyone finds out about this Blaine will be gone. He'll never speak to me again. And I can't have that." As silence fell over the room and the entire house I leant back against the wall, letting my head thunk onto it and staring up at the ceiling.

"Please don't tell anyone."


	9. The Tutor

**Chapter 9 - The Tutor**

**Got any specific plans for tonight?**

I smiled, looking down at my phone and typing in a reply, not even bothering to check if anyone was watching.

**Yes. They involve you and a bed.**

As I sent it I could almost picture the look on Kurt's face, the blush that would creep across his cheeks and the way he would glance nervously around his classroom, before sliding further down in his chair.

I knew a lot about Kurt now. I knew that he had a very strong relationship with his Dad. I knew that, contrary to popular belief, he didn't actually like Finn all that much. I knew that his favourite food was grilled cheese and his favourite ice cream strawberry. I also knew that he loved being kissed on his neck _a lot_.

* * *

><p>The spot was the same – the bed. I'd hit it with equal gusto and let out the same moan when Kurt's lips smashed against mine, but then I'd wanted to change the record. As I flipped up both over Kurt had let out a little squeak, something that had sent a chill of excitement through me, and then as we began to kiss again he let his hands roam over me, exploring the new position he was in. The feel of his touch sent me crazy – I kissed his mouth, his cheek, his neck – all slobbery and full of desperate passion – and then moved further down towards his collarbone. My hands scrabbled to pull back his shirt, then once the skin was visible I attached my lips to it and began to suck.<p>

"Oh FUCK Blaine!" Kurt didn't often swear and it was something I enjoyed hearing. Especially with my name after it. Ignoring the exclamations I continued with my task, biting down hard on his collarbone and sucking with every muscle in my mouth. I was going to leave the biggest mark going – one that would stay there for weeks and have Kurt thinking of me every time it hurt. Fingers pressed into my sides and I groaned, beginning to thrust downwards without even thinking, my giant erection pressing deep into my friend's and making his shouts grow higher pitched with every second. Suddenly it was all too much.

"STOP! STOP!" With a start I broke free, my lips making a little popping sound. My eyes widened but Kurt didn't look upset.

"What? What?"

"Lie down now." He pushed my arm lightly and I fell back, still wondering what the hell was going on. Despite the doubt however I was perfectly willing to do whatever he wanted. My friend hurriedly hauled himself upwards, still trying to catch his breath, but somehow looking like he was holding it, and then turned his attention to my pants.

"I am literally about a millisecond away from coming so we have to do this quickly." As he reached to undo my zip it suddenly dawned on me what was happening. Oh sweet _Lord_.

"You don't have to do this now." I said hurriedly. "We can do it later." Wait – what was I doing? Don't ever turn down a blowjob. _Ever_.

"No, I want to. I _really_ want to." Kurt shimmied my pants down along with my boxers and then suddenly the aching was back. Ok, I _definitely _wanted this now. Without even another word of warning, suddenly his face went down.

As I was encased in wet heat I threw my head back and groaned. Fuck. Just _fuck_. Of course I was no stranger to blowjobs – I could pretty much count on more than two hands the lucky not-so-little girls that had had their mouths in that region over the 17 years of my existence. But _fuck_. Everything Kurt did just seemed _better_. I'd barely had time to get over the first feeling when my friend began to move. Oh my God his teeth were dragging and Jesus he was moving fast. Half of me wanted to prolong this experience, keep it going for as long as physically possible, but then again this was fucking amazing just as it was. As Kurt's head bobbed up and down he pressed his hands down on my hips, preventing them from bucking up (which they were still trying to do) and then, again without any warning, he hummed. My scream pierced through the air and made him laugh – not exactly helping the situation. I was close now. It was hard not to be when all this was going on. My breathing almost too heavy to talk I tried to signal and Kurt realised, quickening his pace even further until finally I reached the point of no return and came. I'd been expecting him to pull away but he carried on sucking, not stopping until I was completely and utterly spent. When we both collapsed on the bed I noticed a stain on my friend's jeans and smiled.

* * *

><p>"<em>Blaine<em>!" With a jerk I was taken out of my daydream and back into the classroom. Mrs Homeric was staring at me, as were the rest of the class.

"Ah, glad to have you back in the classroom again." She said, after giving me a sarcastic look of surprise. Mike Chang gave me a subtle thumbs up to my right, probably thanking me for getting her off track from whatever drivel she'd been talking about while I hadn't been paying attention.

"Something equally as trivial was on your mind no doubt." Er, actually I was thinking about getting my cock sucked thank you very much. Suddenly my teacher's expression changed. Wait – why was everyone's mouth open like that? Had I just said those thoughts out loud?

Balls.

* * *

><p>The Principal's office smelt of shit. Either there was a pipe burst nearby, some disgusting freshman had been in before me, or Principal Figgins had some serious bowel problems. As I walked into the room I saw him roll his eyes, probably wondering why his job involved talking to little bastards like me.<p>

"Why is it always you Blaine?" He asked. "Why do I see you here nearly every day?"

"I don't know sir." I replied, even thought I knew exactly why. I sat down on one of the twenty year old seats and heard him sigh.

"And yet your father never seems to care." Wanting to keep quiet on this subject I switched my attention to a picture on the wall of a farm, hoping that this would lead the principal to ask another question.

"Could you at least spread it out over subjects? Mrs Homeric is getting tired of her lessons being disrupted." I smirked.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I could do that." At this Principal Figgins' eyes flashed to mine. He suddenly looked serious.

"_Blaine_. I have joked around enough with you. My patience is waning and you're running out of lives. The other teachers have been talking about you getting a tutor-"

"No!" The exclamation flew from my mouth, my brain too slow to halt it. "I can't get a tutor! That's like social suicide!" Hah. Figgins didn't seem impressed with my response. I watched his hand drift towards the drawer of his desk that held the detention slips – a drawer I had seen him open so many times I could probably describe the layout of to you. I waited for it to re-emerge but then realised that if I got detention tonight, that meant finishing late. And finishing late meant…

"I'm sorry!" The middle-aged man's head jerked up.

"Pardon?"

"I'm sorry. About, the lesson, being disruptive. It won't happen again." I watched him pause, almost unable to believe what was happening.

"Is this an apology?"

"Yes." Silence descended over the room and I wondered if it had been too late. Then I saw a hand appear back on the desk, still empty.

"It _won't_ happen again. And you will repeat that apology back to your Trigonometry teacher-" Immediately I went to protest but frantically bit my tongue. "Get out of my office Blaine Anderson."

* * *

><p>I couldn't believe it. I'd missed out on detention. And all for some stupid measly words. True, the look on Mrs Homeric's face had been rather annoying, but it was worth it. I practically sprinted to my car and started the ignition, before my phone suddenly started ringing and I stopped to answer it.<p>

"Hey Kurt – you'll never guess what happened-"

"-CODE RED!" I didn't understand.

"Er, what?" If this was some new addition to the routine it was more than a little geeky.

"Code red! It means abort!" Wait, what? Abort? "You can't come over." Instantly my good mood vanished.

"_What? Why?_"

"Finn is here." Fuck. That little fucker always had to go and ruin everything didn't he?

"He's not supposed to be back till next week!" I protested, hoping there was some kind of mistake.

"I know! His Dad has some meeting at his house so he had to come back for today." Fuck fuck. This was _perfect_. The one thing I'd been looking forward to all day, completely ruined.

"Can't we meet somewhere else?"

"Finn knows I'm coming home. He'll get suspicious otherwise. We're gonna have to cancel." With my friend's last words I smacked the steering wheel in frustration, making him sigh deeply down the phone. He sounded pretty depressed too.

"Shit. This sucks."

"I know."

"I need…I need to see you. Or at least talk to you." Again I heard a loud sigh through the receiver.

"We can still talk like this if you like."

"What? On the phone? Won't Finn hear?"

"I need to be at home. That doesn't mean I can't be locked up in my room where nobody can hear me." Suddenly my heart lifted. If we couldn't be together physically, at least this was something. I could almost feel Kurt smiling from the other end of the line and smiled too.

"Are you on your way home now?"

"Nah, I'm still in the parking lot."

"Ok, well get home and then ring me when you're in your room."

"Right, on it. Speak to you soon?" God I was fucking lame. Kurt chuckled softly.

"Speak to you soon."

* * *

><p>I drove home like a maniac. Car parked I ran into the house, practically bashing the door down and flicking off my shoes. Dad, Simone and Tiffanie were in the living room but I completely ignored them, heading straight upstairs and shutting my door behind me. For once my status as a moody son-of-a-bitch family member played in my favour.<p>

* * *

><p>As soon as I was laid out on the bed with my outer layers of clothing removed I dialled Kurt's number and held it to my ear. He picked up almost instantly.<p>

"That was quick." I head him chuckle and tried to hide my blush, before I remembered he couldn't see it.

"What can I say – I'm a fast kind of guy." I was still using the same lines, the one's I used on every person I was remotely romantically attached to – but somehow they just didn't seem right with Kurt.

"I'm glad." Pulling up the covers so I was completely cocooned inside my bed I turned a little to my side and got comfortable.

"Soooo… What do you wanna talk about?" I asked.

"I dunno? What do _you_ wanna talk about?"

"Hey, I asked the question first." Kurt giggled and it made my stomach feel all funny. I felt around for a pillow and drew it towards my chest, wanting something to hold onto.

"Well…how was your day?"

"Ergh, shit." Another laugh echoed in my ear.

"Why?"

"Well for a start I'm here and not at your house. But also Trig sucked."

"Did you get sent to the Principal's office?"

"Yeah."

"Blaine! That's like the seventh time!"

"I know." I couldn't remember how much I'd told Kurt about my life at school. I must have told him lots, or he was just very observant.

"What did he say?"

"Oh, just the same shit. He wants me to get a tutor."

"For Trig?"

"Yeah. There's no way I'm doing it. Having a tutor is like social suicide." Kurt tutted down the phone and I suddenly realised my faux pas. "I'm sorry, I know it's hypocritical but, it _is_."

"I could be your tutor." My next words were halted on my lips.

"What?"

"I could do it. I could tutor you. I'm in AP, I know a hell of a lot more than you. I don't mind..." For a couple of seconds I floundered, not really knowing what to say.

"…No. I don't need a tutor. I'm fine." I know it sounded bad, but to be honest I didn't want any of my time with Kurt to be wasted on something as trivial as schoolwork. My friend didn't respond and I immediately felt guilty.

"Thanks though."

"It's ok." A brief silence descended over us. It was annoying that we couldn't see each other – that he couldn't see that I wasn't offended by what he had said at all. I was more surprised that he'd wanted to do it for me.

"If you got sent to Figgins, how didn't you get detention?" Ah, now the subject was back onto me. I pondered making up some excuse to make me sound cooler, but then remembered whom I was talking to.

"I apologised."

"Wait – _what_?" Yes, I guess that was the appropriate reaction. "_Blaine Anderson apologised? _To a _principal_?"

"And to Mrs Homeric. It came with the conditions."

"Why on _earth_ did you do that?" Suddenly embarrassment took over and I fell silent. Kurt waited for my response before all of a sudden he seemed to realise. "Wait…you didn't…?"

"Yes ok? I did it for you. Happy?" My friend was silent for a couple of seconds, obviously contemplating what had just been said. Then he replied.

"Yes. Yes I am." His voice sounded a little different, almost emotional. For a while the moment hovered in the air, allowing us both to contemplate it, realise what it meant. Then I rolled back to stare at the ceiling.

"How was your day?" Kurt let out a little amused sigh at my change of subject and I smiled.

"It was fine."

"Did _you_ get sent to the principal's office?"

"No." Laughter rang out from both of us, but when I waited for my friend to expand, nothing came.

"Come on. I just practically spilled out my guts to you about my life – where's yours?"

"It's ok. I kind of just like listening to you."

"But why? I'm annoying as fuck."

"No you're not. You're extremely interesting."

"Well so are you. So, _spill_." Kurt laughed, trapped by my amazing logic, and took a deep breath.

"Well, school sucks. It always sucks. But now I'm here with you and everything's ok." I paused. Nobody had really said anything like that to me before. Sure Quinn said some pretty soppy stuff (some so soppy I wanted to claw my eyeballs out), but she never really had to worry about anything, never really had any risk or hurt in her life. Kurt was different. He was so different.

* * *

><p>"I wish I could kiss you right now." I was saying my thoughts out loud, but for once I didn't mind the lack of filter.<p>

"I know. Me too."

"I like you. _A lot_. Like I _really_ like you." Kurt paused, almost as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Why?" The question made me ponder.

"I dunno really. I guess you just make me feel safe."

"Safe from what?"

"Myself."

"But I'm the person that's showing you yourself."

"Well, the other me then. The one that used to be myself." I stared up at the ceiling, trying to make Kurt's face in the plaster. I could hear the faint hum of the TV from downstairs, the low chatter of Dad and Simone. Everything else was silent.

"I like you too. A lot."

* * *

><p>When I was lead into the Hummel-Hudson kitchen a day later I figured we were moving the point of our rendezvous. Maybe even going for it on the counter. Immediately I began to remove my jacket but Kurt squeezed my hand and stopped me.<p>

"No. Not yet." He motioned to the table, pulling me along, and I walked forward, confused. When he sat down, patting the chair beside him, and then bent down to rummage around in his bag and bring out a notebook I groaned.

"You're not serious."

"Of course I am." The trig book was smacked onto the table with much gusto and I slumped back in my chair. This is what I hadn't wanted. Time with Kurt becoming time with work.

"Get your book out." I groaned again, trying to make it as obvious as possible that I was not going to enjoy this and yanked out my things.

"Can't we do this later?"

"No. We're doing it now."

"Wouldn't you much rather be blowing me against the counter?" I suddenly tried another tactic, leaning forward so my lips could brush against Kurt's ear and my hand could slide up his leg. I saw him shiver and bite his lip, but another hand moved to prise mine away.

"Maybe later." With a scowl I folded my arms and he chuckled, giving my shoulder a rub before turning to a page. "Right – let's start with the circle theorems."

* * *

><p>My friend had the most beautiful jaw line I had ever seen. I found myself entranced by it as he talked. I'd never really noticed it before.<p>

"You are seriously hot." I said. Kurt glanced up at me, but instead of looking flattered seemed perturbed. I suppose I'd just interrupted whatever he'd been trying to explain to me on page 57.

"Blaine, you need to concentrate. I'm not going to be able to help you if you don't listen."

"I don't need any help."

"Oh really? So you're not failing trig then?" Dammit. I scrunched my nose up in frustration and Kurt smiled, shifting his seat a little closer and pointing out a question.

"Try this one. What is the equation of this line?" I craned my neck to look at the random squiggle across a graph.

"Um…let me see…is it, I don't give a fuck?" A hand flicked out to slap me on the shoulder and I let out a shout of surprise.

"Blaine! Take this seriously!"

"What's the point? When am I ever gonna use any of this shit in my daily life?" I could see that Kurt sympathised, but he still seemed a little annoyed.

"Ok, let's try this way. You answer a question right – I give you a kiss." Immediately my ears perked up. I turned to look properly at my friend and saw him grinning. So he was being serious? Ok, now my attention was _definitely_ more focused.

"You promise?"

"Scout's honour."

"Ok." Straightening up I made sure I could see the book clearly and glanced to my right. "Give me a question."

"Graph 12." I locked my eyes onto the diagram. Shit. Why did this look so complicated? Why didn't my brain work? I felt my fists ball up in frustration as I tried to work out the answer – remember all the things I'd vaguely listened to over the past few weeks and minutes. Eventually I worked out an answer.

"Y equals three x cubed plus four?" Kurt grimaced.

"You're close." I growled in frustration and stared harder at the graph making the numbers and lines blur so my head hurt. Come on Blaine…

"Plus six! Y equals three x cubed plus six!" Kurt smiled. He went to say something but I was already launching myself forward – smashing my lips to his so he almost fell off his chair.

"Blaine!" He squawked, arms flailing for balance, but I didn't care. I climbed onto his chair so I was straddling him and kissed him deeply.

"I said one kiss!" Kurt continued, his voice muffled and beginning to lose authority. I pulled away but kept our noses touching, leaning forward into my friend so we were pressed up against the back of the chair.

"I think we've done more than enough studying for today." Suddenly the table became used to a different purpose.

* * *

><p>Amazingly – Kurt's tutoring worked. Despite the fact that we very rarely got more than fifteen minutes work done my grades began to climb, so much so that I was on the verge of moving up a class. Mrs Homeric couldn't believe it – I was still a little shit in her lessons but gradually my test scores improved and her eyebrows raised a little higher on her head every time she handed them back.<p>

"Dude, is that secret chick you're banging some kind of mathlete?" Mike Chang asked, leaning over whilst yet another test was distributed. His eyes were wide with intrigue and I laughed, leaning back in my chair glancing briefly at the A- and resting my head back against my folded arms.

"You could say that."


	10. The Question

_This chapter is dedicated to possibly one of my most awesome reviewers ever - we exchange regular emails about how amazing the other is. So Tiffany/XxBraxtonsMomxX - this is for you :D_

_Also many thanks to Chris/mischievousninja for giving me some much needed motivation to get my ass off tumblr and write this :D_

_(If any of you ever want to chat about the story or anything else hit me up. I do love a natter. Also YDOYD fans check the facebook page for an exciting competition. I'll shut up now)_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10 - The Question<strong>

Kurt's lips tasted like cherries.

I let my hand slip slowly around the back of his neck, sliding into his hair and tilting his head up ever so slightly so I could get that perfect angle. My tongue moved gradually across the roof of his mouth and then twined with his, the feeling making me close my eyes in sheer bliss. We weren't really doing anything that heated – just kissing. Slow and sensually, taking in every little bit of each other and savouring it. The credits of the movie we'd been watching, curled up on the sofa together, were still rolling and the rest of the house was silent. It was just us.

When we finally broke away minutes later that was slow too – I kept our lips in contact for as long as possible and then gazed in sheer adoration at the smiling face in front of me.

"_Blaine_." Kurt breathed. I let our foreheads rest against each other, noses bumping so we laughed, and then pressed another soft kiss to his lips. This was perfect. _This_. I didn't want to do anything else with my life. I could have held onto this moment forever.

Suddenly Kurt reached his hand up to brush something away at the top of my forehead. At first I thought he was trying to poke me, so flinched, and he giggled.

"What are you doing?" I asked

"Just brushing away a stray hair." My lips pursed

"Oh _Kuuurt_. That's what they do in all the lame rom-com movies!" My friend laughed again, seeming to find my protest very amusing.

"Don't you like those movies?"

"No. They are girly and stupid."

"Don't you think we'd been good lead actors?" Suddenly he leant forward and kissed me again – for a second or two I was taken aback and simply responded in the same slow way we had before.

"I think you're just saying that to hide the fact that you're ticklish." When we broke away again Kurt muttered the words with a grin – immediately I scowled once more.

"No! I am _not_ doing that!"

"Oh really?"

"Yes really!"

"You sure?" Without warning I felt a finger poke into my side, instantly making me flinch again. Damn.

"Aha!" Kurt sensed victory but I shook my head vigorously, trying desperately to salvage the situation.

"No! That wasn't what you think! I just…sneezed!"

"Oh yeah?" This time I was prodded from both sides. Involuntarily I let out a little yelp and Kurt laughed in delight, increasing the speed and frequency of his pokes until I was squirming to get away.

"Stop it!"

"Stop what?"

"_Stop it!_"

"Never!" Eventually I did the only thing I could do – pushed Kurt into the back of the sofa and kissed him. To my relief the arms fell from my sides and instead were brought back up to rest on my lower back. Suddenly we both heard a throat clearing from above our heads and looked up to see Burt standing in the doorway,

"Hi boys." Oh. Shit.

* * *

><p>Quickly I sat up, trying to pat down my clothes even though they hadn't really been disturbed and feeling my face tinge red.<p>

"Watching something funny there? I heard a lot of laughing." Kurt senior looked over at the TV, which had now stopped playing the credits and was instead back onto the DVD menu. For The Hurt Locker.

"Um, no." Kurt looked just as embarrassed as me, and as Burt walked across the room slowly to sit in the chair facing us I gave him a sideways glance.

"How was your day?" My friend continued. Burt cocked his head to the side slightly, thinking.

"It was good. Had some guy come in that needed a whole new radiator so that took a while. Other than that pretty normal. You?"

"It was good." I felt Kurt take hold of my hand and squeezed it, also letting him shuffle slightly closer to me than we had been before. Burt didn't have a problem with us being romantic – in fact it was pretty much normal proceedings for him to walk in on us making out or showing some kind of affection. But he didn't mind. As long as we weren't fucking on the counter and he was at home when we were up in Kurt's room together, things with Mr Hummel were just fine.

"Do you…still want this?" A weathered hand signalled towards the TV, already holding the remote and immediately Kurt and I shook our heads.

"Oh no, you, er, go ahead." The channel was switched to ESPN, the coverage of a football game just starting and Mr Hummel smiled, relaxing back into his chair and fixing his eyes on it. Ok…

"I think we're gonna go upstairs…" My friend read my mind – immediately we both jumped up, still holding hands, and Burt nodded, not averting his eyes from the TV.

"Remember door open. And stay safe." Kurt rolled his eyes, flushing a deeper shade of red again before dragging me off out of the room.

* * *

><p>As we lay on the bed with the door just a fraction open I thought about how far Kurt and I had come. The cupboard in Jacob Ben Israel's house seemed an awful way off – I remembered the first time I had seen Kurt and not been able to look away. I'd known there was something different about him, felt it. I'd had no idea it would lead to us being here lying together like this.<p>

"What're you thinking about?" Coming back to reality I saw beautiful blue eyes staring back at me questioningly and blushed.

"Oh, nothing. Just stuff." Kurt smiled, kissing me lightly before turning round slightly so he could look at me properly.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course." I let my hand trail lightly down his arm, revelling in the way it made him shiver.

"Do you still have sex with Quinn?" The question made me pause. Wow. I hadn't been expecting that. Yes, I still saw Quinn – not half as much as usual and still a little more than I really wanted to but-

"Yes. Granted we haven't done much recently but, I still have to keep up the charade. Y'know, so she doesn't find out."

"Can't you just split up with her?"

"Nah. Helps if I have a real girlfriend. Keeps up the illusion." Kurt fell silent, bringing his hands into his chest, and I wondered if I'd upset him.

"Does that bother you?"

"A little." Suddenly he looked up, right into my eyes, his gaze piercing.

"Would you ever have sex with me?"

* * *

><p>I froze.<p>

I looked at Kurt and saw his expression hadn't changed – I wasn't sure if my reaction was visible or not. Woah.

"We um…we…we have sex all the time, don't we?" I burbled, trying desperately to blag my way out of this.

"You know what I mean. _Real_ sex."

Well wow. This was something I hadn't been expecting. Where had it come from? Granted Kurt and I had been seeing each other for a long time, and I certainly didn't want to stop seeing him any time soon. But _real sex_? To be honest the thought scared me. Up until now our sex had been purely one sided – Kurt doing things only to me. Neither of us seemed to have a problem with that and we both enjoyed it – I'd never once been pressured into doing anything I didn't want to. But the things we'd done together were all relatively 'straight'. Meaning, a girl could still do them to me if I wanted. _Real_ sex, or just general touching by me of any serious kind – well that was, that was _gay_. I would have to officially come out to myself.

"Blaine?" Shit. I'd been off in my own world again. Kurt was still staring back at me with those breathtaking eyes. How could I turn down a person like that?

"So would you? Have sex with me?" I grimaced, not wanting to say my reply.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" Ah shit. Kurt's face had fallen. I felt his grip on my shirt loosen slightly and grimaced further. No, please…

"It's complicated ok? I've never…done that kind of thing before."

"Well I can guide you through it. We don't have to rush, we can go whatever speed you want." Speed? Right now I felt like things were going at 100 miles and hour. Towards a brick wall.

"It's not that simple."

"Isn't it? We've had sex before, it's just the same."

"You know it's not. You _know_ it's not." I could tell Kurt was frustrated. I was frustrated too. Frustrated that my brain wouldn't let these feelings I had for someone I cared about deeply manifest into something more.

"Do you…not, _want_ me in that way?" Suddenly I was able to be completely definitive.

"_Kurt_. Of _course_ I want you in that way. It's just…it's just, complicated." There was that fricking word again. Kurt sighed deeply, letting his head flop down to rest against my chest. I let him lay there and listened to the sound of his breathing, but didn't touch him. I didn't really deserve that.

"Will you at least think about it?" My eyebrows furrowed.

"What?"

"You said you didn't know. Will you think about it then?" I realised what he meant and sighed myself, reaching up my hand to run through my own hair slowly.

"Ok. I'll think about it."

* * *

><p>I did think about it. I didn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.<p>

My laptop sat in front of me, Google up and ready to use. My hand hovered over the keyboard, watching the little word cursor flash off and on in the search box. I typed in the words.

**Gay sex**

Immediately after I pressed enter hundreds of porn sites came up - grimacing I scrolled down past them trying to find some kind of website that would offer my some advice, at least give me some pointers on what happened. I refined my search.

**Gay sex advice**

'Better sex for gay men'

'I want to try gay sex'

'Anal sex'

I began to feel myself sweat, the uncomfortable sensation building up inside of me so I had to swallow several times. I couldn't bring myself to click on any of the sites so then moved to the only other option that I figured would give me quick and obvious results. Images.

* * *

><p>I felt the roll of my stomach and gagged. The sound of feet slapping across the floor filled my ears as I legged it out of my room to the bathroom and then slammed the door behind me. As I retched into the toilet the noise made me feel even sicker than the actual motion. Oh God. How could…what was…how did you even get that in there… I shouldn't be like this. This was wrong. Sex was supposed to be something I was used to. But oh Lord…<p>

* * *

><p>I stayed in the same position for a while, slumped against the toilet seat with my feeble attempt at sick just sitting in the bowl, waiting to be flushed down into oblivion. I would have stayed in there longer but I suddenly heard a shout that made me sit up.<p>

"BLAINE!" Laboriously hauling myself to my feet I stumbled over to the door and then trudged back over to my room, feeling like death and rubbing the palm of my hand against my forehead slowly. I was expecting Simone to be in my room when I entered, after all – it had been her that had shouted. What I wasn't expecting however, was the look of sheer horror on her face.

"_What_, is _this_?" As I glanced groggily up at her my first thought was confusion over why she wasn't enquiring about my less than perfect appearance. Was it now normal for me to look like shit? Then I followed her outstretched arm, finger pointed as violently as it could at my computer screen.

It clicked.

Oh **FUCK**.

* * *

><p>"<em>What is this Blaine<em>?" SHIT. I hadn't minimized my window. I'd been so preoccupied with running to the bathroom that I'd just left my computer, door open and everything. The gay sex pictures were still well and truly visible.

"Arbh…" My mouth dropped open, unable to really say anything. What _did_ you say when your step-mom caught you looking at gay porn? This was it – I was either grounded forever or completely and utterly busted.

"I just came in here to ask you about dinner – _why is this on your computer_?"

"I've never seen that before." Oh great. Way to go Blaine. Porn on your computer in your room and you've never seen it before. She'll really go for that. Simone looked like she was literally about to sock me one, but suddenly her expression changed.

"Oh." I paused. Er, what? "Do you think…?" Suddenly she moved closer towards me. I hoped my breath didn't stink of sick. "Do you think, Dean did this?" Oh yes. _Yes_. This was my get out clause.

"Yes." I replied, trying not to sound too relieved. "Yes. Dean definitely did this." Simone sighed, almost as if she had known this was coming. I hated to think of the thoughts that were going through her brain right now – that her fifteen year old son was so horny for guys that he had to secretly look at them fucking on his older brother's computer to satisfy his needs. But at the same time – this was fucking brilliant.

"Let's go." I suddenly realised that we were going to confront said brother – immediately I began to panic again, worried that my plan would be thwarted and then I'd be in even more shit, but Simone grabbed my hand and dragged me off, only just giving me enough time to quickly grab and mint and shove it into my mouth as I went out the door.

* * *

><p>Dean was in his room, lying on the bed reading a science magazine. He looked so goddamn innocent I almost felt bad subjecting him to a tongue-lashing, but bit my tongue to stop my conscience from spilling out. Simone gave me a 'here goes' look though before clearing her throat and causing him to look up. As he saw the two of us standing in the doorway I knew he could sense something interesting was going on.<p>

"Dean…" Simone began, almost grimacing already. She walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed, making Dean close his magazine and shift himself upright. I stayed standing by the door, ready to make a quick exit if needed.

"What have you been doing today?" My kind of brother looked slightly confused.

"Um, just studying mostly. For my quiz on Wednesday. I only stopped to read for five minutes." Oh bless. He thought he was being told off for his work ethic.

"Did you…go near Blaine's room at all today?" We were skating round the subject. Dean looked up at me, obviously searching for a heads up, but I just glared back at him menacingly. Do _not_ fuck this up for me little boy.

"Um…no?"

"Are you sure?" Oh for fucks sake woman. Just get to the point. Dean still looked confused, so Simone sighed for the millionth time and finally spilled.

"I just went into Blaine's room and found some…_things_, on the computer. _Gay things_." Oh God. Just hearing her say it made my whole body go cold again. Dean's eyes instantly widened – he looked straight at me and I knew right then I was screwed. He wouldn't cover for me, he wouldn't. This was it.

"Were you using his computer?" Suddenly I was so desperate I changed my expression. A silent conversation between me and my kind of brother. Please take the wrap for me. _Please_.

"Dean?" I watched him look back at his mother, my eyes analysing every movement he made, waiting for the words to spill out of his mouth that would ruin me.

"Yes." For a second everyone was silent. Simone looked shocked, but not half as shocked as me.

"What?"

"Yes I was on Blaine's computer." I had to stop my mouth from dropping open. Had I heard right? Was Dean really admitting something he hadn't done? For _me_?

"Oh sweetie…" Suddenly my attention was back on Simone. I watched her reach out, pull her son into another embrace – one I only ever really saw between them and never received myself. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was embarrassed, I didn't know what to do." My head was still spinning, my feet unsteady and my hand having to reach out to subtly grab hold of the door. Luckily nobody seemed to notice.

"You know you shouldn't really be using Blaine's computer – that's his property and he can do with it what he likes." Suddenly I felt eyes on me again and had to quickly sort myself out. Simone looked up sympathetically and I smiled weakly before Dean spoke again.

"I know. I'm sorry Blaine." He fixed me with a stare – an intense stare that said 'what is going on'. I freaked.

"It's ok. I'm gonna go now." Without even waiting for a response I practically ran out of the room, legging it up the stairs and slamming my bedroom door behind me.

* * *

><p>When I saw my laptop still with the Google search showing I slammed the lid shut, wanting to forget I had ever searched it. This shouldn't be happening – I shouldn't have to be relying on people bailing me out to keep this a secret. And if the thought of the sex made me feel sick, who knew if I was even gay at all. Trudging over to my bed I flopped onto it face down and groaned into my pillow, wishing it would suddenly develop a mouth and swallow me whole, never to return again. I couldn't even call Kurt about this – the one person I could call about anything. This time he was the one person I didn't want to talk to at all.<p>

* * *

><p>About five minutes later I heard a knock at my door. Figuring it was Simone coming to see if I was ok I ignored it, then when they knocked again I shouted.<p>

"Go away."

"It's Dean."

Shit.

I brought my face up from the mattress. I couldn't exactly not let him in – he had just saved my ass. But I didn't particularly want to talk to him either.

"Blaine can I come in?" At least he was actually asking this time. Not wanting to respond I simply groaned and my kind of brother took this as a cue to enter. As soon as I saw his face I knew I was in the shit.

"Blaine. Mum just spent five minutes telling me that I can be whoever I want to be and that 'I matter'. What the hell is going on?" I didn't answer. As I buried my head back in my covers I heard Dean walk over and sit down in what sounded like my desk chair. Then I head my laptop being opened.

"Hey!" Instantly sitting upright I saw the window flash onto the screen again – Dean's eyes widened.

"Oh my…Blaine!" Fuck. Why hadn't I closed that goddamn thing? This horror was never going to end. "Why did you…? Are you _GAY_?" Suddenly he spun round, almost excited with the idea. "Do you have a boyfriend? Are you keeping it a secret? Are you _doing it_?" For once the fact that he was asking so many questions was a blessing, as it meant I didn't have to answer any of them. Shaking my head I pressed my face back into the pillow but Dean moved to sit on the bed, poking me on the shoulder.

"Blaine? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you have a boyfriend?"

"NO!" I spun back to face him, shouting the words so my kind of brother reeled back. Surprisingly though, he didn't seem fully put off by my violent response.

"They why are you looking at gay sex on the internet?" Great. Just motherfucking, _great_. Deciding I couldn't hold off my denial any longer I sighed, a long deep sigh that made my whole body sag.

"He's not my boyfriend." Dean immediately looked surprised. His eyes widened yet again and he shifted slightly closer, leaning in and whispering.

"So you _are_ gay?"

"No. I'm not gay either. Well, I don't think I am."

"But you're _seeing _someone?" Jesus. Why was every word like some kind of sin? I was surprised the boy didn't go to bible study. As I nodded my head another long sigh escaped from my lips.

"Yes."

"Woah." For a second I didn't know what the response meant – whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. He was in no position to judge me, but even so. For some strange reason I cared.

"Why didn't you tell me? Before?" My eyes looked up at his.

"Why do you think? This isn't exactly something I go blabbing to everyone." I couldn't believe this was happening. That I was confessing all to my nerdy, stupid, pathetic little brother who was gay and had just saved my ass.

"What's his name?" Dude.

"I'm not telling you that."

"Oh come on. You've told me everything else." Stupid little boy.

"Kurt. His name's Kurt." Dean had a strange expression on his face. Granted, he was probably a little shocked about what he had just found out. But also there was something else. It was like…happiness.

"If you tell _ANYONE_ about this I will fucking kill you. No lie, I will _kill_ you." Suddenly feeling defensive I put up my walls again and moved away from my brother. I saw him flinch slightly at the word 'kill' but then he shook his head violently.

"Oh no, I won't tell anyone. I wouldn't. I promise."

"Not even your mum."

"Not even-?"

"_Nobody_." Dean dithered, the motion seeming to last forever, then finally he nodded.

"Ok. Not even Mum."

* * *

><p>So now Dean knew. One family member from each side. I wanted to tell Kurt – I wanted to tell him lots of things – but to be honest I was too scared to talk to him. I still couldn't answer his question and to be honest I felt more confused now than I had been to start with. Suddenly I felt alone again, like I had after the party, when I'd attacked myself in the shower. I had no allies left.<p>

* * *

><p>As I shut the door to my locker I saw Puck walking up towards me and nodded my head. I'd kind of slipped back into the old me for a brief period of time – my totally shit way of coping. My friend leant against the locker in front when he arrived and stared me straight in the eyes.<p>

"Dude. We need to talk." Shit. Don'tassumetheworst, don'tassumetheworst…

"Ok…" I didn't know how to respond. Hoping I didn't look too stressed I shifted my bag further up my arm and waited for the reply.

"Where the hell have you been? We've barely even seen you these past few weeks." Phew. It was hard to hide the sigh of relief that threatened to escape from my lips.

"I've been, er…busy." I had. Busy making out with Kurt.

"_Dude_. Nobody's that busy unless they're working for the FBI or something." Suddenly his eyes widened. "Wait – you're not…?" Oh _please_.

"No douchebag. I am not working for the FBI." You fucking idiot.

"Well where have you been then? Chang told me this chick you're banging is like a mathlete or something so either your doing her for extra credit or you have some serious explaining to do." I almost chuckled. This was all rather amusing.

"Chill dude. I've got it all under control."

"Have you? Quinn is _freaking out_." Oh shit. I'd kind of forgotten about my girlfriend. The annoying little pet that I had to let hang round me like some disease so as to not seem intolerant. "You barely even _look_ at her anymore." I sighed, putting another book into my bag and nodding my head.

"Yeah, I know. I've just had other things on my mind."

"Don't worry - we _all _get it. But at least spend _some_ kind of time with her, else she's gonna get suspicious. And there are _plenty_ of guys here who would _love_ to take her off your hands." Suddenly my eyebrows furrowed. Quinn was boring – I didn't really like hanging out with her anymore. But what I didn't like more was the thought of someone taking her away.

"Just telling you as a friend." Obviously interpreting my expression as something else Puck slapped a hand on my shoulder – I looked up and nodded in thanks, my brain already formulating a plan. I would hang out with Quinn. Tonight. And I would solve the dilemma of the next stage with Kurt once and for all.

* * *

><p>The Fabray house looked different now. Before I had seen it as a haven – a fortress of pleasure, luxury and getting exactly what I wanted. Now I just saw it as a prison.<p>

"Come on Blaine!" Quinn dragged my across the driveway, obviously eager to get us inside and start whatever fun she had planned. It was funny how the though of sex wasn't even turning me on. Kurt hadn't texted me since our last meeting, obviously giving me space to think, and it was torture. I missed him.

My girlfriend opened the door and dragged me inside again – I barely had time to say hello to Mr and Mrs Fabray before we were up the stairs and in her room, door locked.

* * *

><p>"<em>Finally<em>." Without any warning lips crushed against mine – so forceful that I let out a shout of surprise. Quinn took this as passion and pushed me roughly towards the bed, my legs hitting the frame with a force that was painful. No, no – this was almost perfectly re-enacting my Kurt routine. I couldn't do it. Struggling to get up, something which my girlfriend again interpreted as something else, my brain screamed to get out, to be free of this place and this goddamn situation I didn't want to be a part of. But then, I stopped. I could use this to my advantage...

"Oh, _Blaine_." Suddenly I began to kiss back, passionate and strong. Quinn moaned and writhed but I wasn't kissing _her_. I created the picture in my mind – the lips, the hair, the body, filling me up until it was almost like I was there. _He _was there.

"Baby _yes_." Hands moved towards my shirt, unpicking the buttons slowly but roughly. I let it happen, rolling my head back for a second and then fastening my lips onto neck, sucking hard and moaning with my own desire. The clothing fell back onto the bed and then the hands slipped down to my pants. I was already hard, rock hard, and bucked up, wanting to feel the other hardness that would set my soul on fire.

"Oh _God_!" I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, ramming my hands down below and feeling around, desperate to get a hold of the friction, rub it against me until I exploded. "Yes!"

"Do it! Right there!" My head was throbbing, sheer desire that filled me up and bubbled over until I couldn't hold back any longer and shouted out the words loud and forcefully.

"Fuck me! Oh my God _fuck me_!"

* * *

><p>Suddenly everything stopped. I opened my eyes, wondering what had happened. Then I saw Quinn staring back at me.<p>

"What did you just say?" Shit.

"Um…I want to fuck you?"

"No you didn't. You said fuck me."

"Oh, yeah… It was an exclamation." Quinn looked confused.

"You never said that before when we had sex."

"Yeah, new thing. Everyone says it now." Silence. I couldn't believe this was happening. That I'd just screamed out for a guy to fuck me when I was macking my own girlfriend.

"Also – your hands don't go there." I felt a hand slip down between us towards our crotches – for a second I wondered if we were going back to sexing, before I suddenly felt it being prised away from an area that made me cringe. I'd been trying to grab Quinn's cock. Pity she didn't have one.

"Are you ok?" Sitting up and giving me space to breathe my girlfriend looked at me strangely. She was bound to be suspicious – I shouldn't have agreed to this in the first place. I was in too deep with Kurt now, giving myself to someone else just wasn't an option. But then again it had made one certain thing extremely clear.

"No. I don't feel well. I think I'm gonna leave."

"Wait!" I was already half off the bed when Quinn lunged out to grab me. She obviously hadn't been expecting that response but I ignored her attempts to pull me back to the bed, zipping up my pants and sliding my shirt back on.

"See you later." Without another word I turned and walked out of my girlfriends room, heading down the stairs and out the door.

* * *

><p>My phone had barely rung twice when it was answered.<p>

"Blaine? Are you ok?" I sighed, almost so relieved to hear the voice that I couldn't speak. Then I cleared my throat and said it.

"I'm ready."


	11. The Deed

_DUDES_

_I am so freaking sorry_

_This is the longest I have ever gone without updating. People normally say that real life gets in the way but seriously these past two weeks I probably experienced every emotion possible in the world. That's what teaching practice does to you! I also had a hard time writing some of this chapter and I wanted to get it right, so I hope it is worth the wait. I think it will be..._

_Thanks once again for sticking around and I promise to never leave it this long between updates again!_

_Liz xxx_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11 - The Deed<strong>

I tapped my fingers nervously against the steering wheel, glancing at the clock on my dash for about the fifty-millionth time. Two minutes to go. That was if he was on time. I could feel the apprehension mixed with excitement simmering in my stomach, bubbling up occasionally so I would suddenly get a rush of adrenaline and have to calm myself down. I couldn't believe I was doing this. And I couldn't believe we hadn't done it sooner.

Suddenly I saw a figure emerge round the corner of the side road I was parked on – immediately my heart flew into my throat and I struggled to breathe. Fumbling around for the door handle I jumped out and dithered over whether to go over, my feet doing some kind of weird little dance across the tarmac so I flushed crimson, embarrassed. A laugh echoed across the space between us and I looked up. My God I loved that laugh. When Kurt finally reached me he went to say hello but I couldn't wait a second longer – pulling him into a passionate embrace and kissing him deeply. My friend seemed surprised, but quickly joined in, winding his arms round my neck and tilting his head slightly to the side. When we pulled away both of us were grinning.

"Hi." I said sheepishly. Kurt leaned in to kiss me again, mumbling his reply on my lips.

"Hi." We giggled and I couldn't help but feel I was suddenly whole again, the missing piece of me finally restored. "What brought that on?" I brought one of my hands away from my friend's hip to brush away an eyelash on his cheek.

"I dunno. I just missed you." Immediately I was attacked with another kiss and went to respond back, but Kurt suddenly pulled away again.

"Ok we are going to have to get in this car _now_ else we are not going to get anywhere." He had a point. Reluctantly letting my arms fall down I watched him skip round to the passenger seat of the car, marvelling at how graceful he made anything look. I slipped back into my seat and rested my arms against the steering wheel, looking to my right with a stupid grin on my face.

* * *

><p>Kurt and I were going away for the weekend. He had planned it all – the place, the hotel everything. The only thing I had contributed, along with my actual presence, was my car and the place I would park it for our secret rendezvous.<p>

"_What_?" Kurt giggled at me again and I smirked back. I just couldn't help it. I couldn't believe we were here. To say I'd been looking forward to this weekend for quite a while was rather an understatement.

"This is going to be fun." My friend continued, reaching out a hand to take hold of mine and rub the knuckles affectionately. I nodded, my head still resting on the steering wheel.

"Yeah. It is."

"What made you change your mind?"

"About what?"

"About this. _Us_." I blushed, sitting back in my seat and rubbing my face.

"It was Quinn actually." Kurt looked sceptical.

"Quinn? How?"

"Um…" I could tell he thought he wasn't going to like the answer – he'd never really liked Quinn and liked me hanging out with her even less._ He_ was probably expecting some lurid story with horrific details. _I,_ however was dithering for an entirely different reason. "…We were making out and I was pretending it was you and…um…I kind of screamed for you to fuck me."

My friend's mouth dropped open.

"_What_." Oh God. This was mortifying. I covered my face with my hands, feeling the heat radiate out and cringing back into my seat. Kurt was still speechless and it was a few seconds later before I could bear to peek out at him between my fingers.

"I'm sorry. That's really embarrassing." I mumbled. His eyes widened.

"_Not_ embarrassing. Not at _all_." He was speaking in short bursts, almost as if he was trying very hard to contain himself. "Did you _really _say that?"

"Yeah."

"_Wow_." Now I could see that my confession was getting positive feedback I took my hands away from my face, uncurling my body from its hunched up position on the seat.

"What did _she_ say?" Kurt asked.

"Oh God. Quinn was just confused. I made up some shit and got the hell out of there." A satisfied smirk spread across his face and I laughed at it, making him look over and realise.

"Sorry."

"No worries." We linked fingers again and stared into each other's eyes, each trying not to laugh.

"So you really want this then?" Kurt asked after a while. I smiled.

"Yup. Pretty sure."

"Me too." Breaking away to start the engine I shifted in my seat and ran my other hand through my hair.

"Pretty sure I tried to grab her dick when we were making out too. But she didn't have one." It was only a passing comment, one I chuckled at as I said it – didn't even bother to look right and see the response. Then suddenly I felt a hand smack against mine.

* * *

><p>"Kurt!" The engine stopped, cut dead by the movement. I was a little annoyed, but then I turned and saw his face.<p>

"_Say that again_." He said, deadly serious. I suddenly felt worried.

"I…um…I tried to, er touch Quinn, well I was pretending it was you so I tried to touch-"

"-You wanted to _touch_ me?"

"I guess so…I er-" Suddenly my friend jerked away, almost to the other side of the car. He let out a little noise of anguish and balled up his fists, smacking them against the seat. Er what.

"Kurt? Kurt are you ok?" I was more than a little confused. In fact he looked in so much pain I wondered if there was something wrong. "What's going-?"

"-You can't just _tell_ me things like that Blaine. _Fuck_…" I was still baffled, watching my friend writhe around in his seat like he'd just been bitten by some poisonous snake. Had I offended him? Did he not _want_ me to touch him? Because I was pretty sure that was unavoidable with what we had planned.

"Kurt I'm sorry I didn't mean to say it we don't have to talk about it ever agai-"

"-Can we do it?" I paused.

"What?" Kurt finally looked like he wasn't in pain anymore, but was now staring at me with such an intense gaze that I wondered if I'd preferred him before.

"Can you touch me?" Suddenly it all clicked.

**Oh.**

* * *

><p>"Er…" I fumbled over the question – still completely shocked by the forwardness and the way my friend was now looking at me. Totally overcome by lust.<p>

"Let me rephrase that. I _need_ you to touch me. As in 'I think I might explode if you don't'." My mouth gaped open and Kurt let his tongue subconsciously slip out slightly between his lips – the sight of which immediately sent a shiver of desire running straight to my crotch. Holy shit. I don't think I'd ever been propositioned like this in my life. Or had it make me this turned on.

"Y-you want to do it _here_?" My voice came out shaky and Kurt flicked his gaze to the back seat.

"Why not? Haven't you ever had sex in your car before?" Hah. Now that was something that had _definitely _happened. My poor automobile was well known for the sexual encounters it had witnessed. But _this_. This was something new.

"So, do you want to?" Looking back at Kurt I saw how horny he was, how desperate he was, for _me_. My response was instant.

"Yes. _Yes_." I'd never even thought about saying no.

* * *

><p>Kurt was out of the car in a flash, wrenching open the door to the back seat and jumping in. Once I'd got out and opened my door he was already laid out, waiting for me. <em>Fuck<em>. Crawling in and shutting the door behind me I moved towards him slowly, licking my lips until suddenly a hand grabbed hold of my collar and yanked me forward.

Our lips smashed together, so violently it was almost painful, and then almost instantly I felt Kurt's crotch bucking up into mine. Jesus. He was _rock_ hard. Hearing him moan I pressed us further down into the seat and felt his hands reach round to grab my ass, fingers digging in hard. Noises of my own escaped from my mouth.

"Oh fuck Kurt _fuck_." My friend still wasn't done, rolling his hips incessantly upwards and I realised we were going to have to progress before I lost control of myself completely.

Breaking apart briefly I heard Kurt moan in sheer desperation, but then looked down for the zipper of his jeans to pull it down swiftly. My friend let out a sigh as he was released, then looked up at me with pleading eyes that had me practically salivating.

"Blaine…Please…" That was it. Throwing myself back down I had my lips sucking hard on Kurt's neck and my hand down his pants in an instant.

* * *

><p>It was strange. Obviously I'd never touched another dick before, apart from my own. It felt the same, possibly a little smaller, but I hadn't held it enough to be sure. I was going to let my mind delve into the emotions I was feeling and what they might mean, but then a humungous, sexually charged moan echoed around the car and I was literally lost for words. Grabbing hold of the length I immediately began to move, pretending that I was jerking off myself, but then feeling the response of Kurt underneath me, writhing and bucking with moans spilling out of his lips uncontrollably. It was hard to get the same wrist motion in reverse, but I learnt and adapted as I went and seemed to be doing a good job. Experimenting with my fingernails I ran them down on one tug and immediately felt Kurt's own nails dig into my thigh. A yelp escaped from my lips but it was nothing compared to the sounds he was making. Christ, even I felt I was close now.<p>

"Blaine! Oh Blaine!" I increased my speed, feeling my wrist beginning to cramp but not caring. My eyes closed and I let my head fall back, waiting for the release. Kurt came seconds later – a strange sensation that was warm and unfamiliar but somehow didn't bother me at all. I carried on pumping until he was completely spent, until the sound of my name was only a hoarse whisper and I definitely had sticky pants too.

* * *

><p>Once we'd got over our highs I used my other hand to haul myself up. Kurt groaned and I inched my hand out of his pants, for some reason surprised to see it covered in come. I wasn't quite sure what to do with it, glancing around the car for some kind of tissue, but then I just thought 'fuck it' and stuck it in my mouth. Kurt tasted kind of musky.<p>

"Mmn." Glancing down I saw my friend looking up at me, a blissful smile on his face that made me grin back and my heart swell.

"That was…that was something else." I said, still kind of breathless myself. I was suddenly pulled down, my holding arm giving way and sending my chest crashing into Kurt's. He didn't seem to mind, kissing me deeply and sensually so I allowed myself to become wrapped in his aura and when we broke away he kept his lips close to mine.

"Thank you." He whispered. The feeling of his breath tickled me so my nose wrinkled and he kissed that too. "For your first hand job that was definitely top class." I laughed, the sound mingling with his slightly higher chuckle, and then our lips met each others yet again.

* * *

><p>An hour after we were actually supposed to depart – Kurt and I left. It had taken us a while to shift the blissful post-sex feeling and it was still very hard to drive with him constantly staring at me and distracting me with his hands. A service station stop was needed to change our clothes (we <em>definitely<em> got a funny look from the gas attendant) but from then on it was pretty plain sailing.

"Where exactly are we going?" I asked after a period of happy silence. Kurt had been directing me on which roads to go down but as driver of the car I felt a little unequipped to be leading.

"Oh, just this place I know."

"In _Columbus_?" My friend grinned.

"Yeah. It's safer here. For us." I nodded my head in understanding, looking back at the road and thinking about the statement. It was true – this was the first time Kurt and I would be alone together, away from everybody we knew, in public. I'd never experienced anything like that before.

"Well what are we doing then?"

"It's a surprise." I scowled, prompting an adorable little giggle to fill the car and a hand to slip over mine, distracting my thoughts again completely.

* * *

><p>When we pulled up in the field I was more than a little confused. I could tell there was some kind of event going on but didn't know what, and why we were also taking part in it too. Once the engine had been cut I immediately looked at Kurt and he blushed.<p>

"So…?" Embarrassment coloured his expression.

"You're gonna think it's stupid."

"No I wont, what is it?" My friend looked at his hands, the side profile of his face strikingly beautiful in the afternoon light.

"There's um…it's a…fair."

"A fair?"

"Yeah."

"We're going to a _fair_?"

"See, I told you you'd hate it." I quickly swivelled my whole body round so my knees were cramped up against the gear stick and took Kurt's hands in my own, looking into his eyes.

"_Kurt_. The fair sounds great. Plus I would pretty much go anywhere as long as you were there." I watched the colour in his cheeks darken even further and smiled, leaning over to press and soft, lingering kiss to his lips.

"Let's go."

* * *

><p>The fair was great, I hadn't been to one in a while, as generally they were considered too lame to actually go to for fun. Unless I was stealing cuddly toys for the girl I was currently fucking or standing up on the Ferris wheel it just wasn't the place to be seen. With Kurt however, it felt just right. As soon as we left the car he matched his stride to me and I noticed his arm brush lightly against mine – taking the hint I linked our fingers together and saw the beaming smile stretch across his face. We didn't have to worry about anybody seeing us here – in fact it was refreshing to have nobody recognise me at all. I could be anybody I wanted – the real me that only ever got revealed behind closed doors.<p>

We headed straight for the rides – first the hardcore ones that I had to drag Kurt onto with his eyes closed, then the tamer ones where we sat together, bodies always touching. We shared a kiss on top of the Ferris wheel (which I managed to stay seated on this time) and ate lunch cross-legged opposite each other on the grass. It was perfect.

I almost didn't want to leave, but soon the light began to fade and we made our way back to the car to set off for our next destination. I was completely and utterly relaxed – the day having been one of my best in a while – and the fact that I was sharing it with Kurt was even better. He was so…I couldn't describe it. Things felt so right with him.

* * *

><p>As we pulled up to the hotel I leant back in my seat, staring out at the stately looking building and smiling. Nice. I turned my head to the side and saw Kurt smiling back.<p>

"Shall we?" As we walked quickly to the entrance I could feel tiredness begin to creep over me so didn't say anything, but still gripped onto his hand tightly. The receptionist greeted us like any other customer – not even a hint of disproval. Once our cases had been unloaded and the winding set of stairs traversed I strode into our room and dropped my things without a care, turning around to eagerly press my lips to Kurt's.

"Mmnph." Obviously not expecting the gesture, my friend took a while to respond, but as I felt his tongue slide to meet mine I exhaled and began to walk us towards the bed. We hit it and I climbed on top of him, but then a few kisses later our mouths were forced apart.

"_Hey_." I immediately whined in annoyance, craning my neck forward to kiss Kurt again, but he laughed, pushing away my face with the palm of his hand.

"Blaine. Not yet."

"Why not? I want you _now_." I began to kiss sensually up his neck, letting my hands slide down his chest towards his pants, but once again my advances were resisted.

"We haven't had dinner yet."

"What?"

"Dinner. I made a reservation." My eyebrow rose.

"A real dinner? As in a sit down one?"

"Yes, that's what normally happens." I scowled, giving my friend a light shove as he chuckled, but still tried to process the information. We never normally did things like this. A pizza in the oven or some meal beautifully prepared by Kurt with me grating the cheese and distracting him with kisses was the general order. But I guess this was the only opportunity we had to eat in public.

"Go get changed. Something nice." Kurt pushed me back towards my suitcase and reluctantly I made my way over, picking out a shirt and walking to the bathroom.

* * *

><p>When we entered the restaurant I was suddenly nervous. Kurt sensed the tension in my body and squeezed my hands, leading us over to the waiter who showed us to our table. We had a booth, secluded but still in the middle of the space. It felt strange having Kurt sit so far away, but our legs twined under the table and that was enough.<p>

"Shall I give you a moment?" The blonde waiter asked.

"Yes please." I noticed Kurt didn't even blink at the guy – despite the fact he was extremely handsome and looked like he did some serious weightlifting in his spare time. His eyes glanced over him, offering a smile with his reply, but then they went straight back to me. It still didn't stop my bicep curling up subconsciously in jealousy though.

"Are you ok?" My friend asked, pointing at my strangely positioned arm in confusion. I blushed.

"Didn't you find that guy attractive? I mean he's like a head jock." Kurt seemed unphased.

"No. I mean, he wasn't hideous. But I already have my own jock." He smiled, taking hold of my hand and rubbing my knuckles with his fingers. I felt my breath hitch. Wow. I really meant that much to him? That was really something.

"Did you?"

"_No_. No, definitely not." My friend laughed at my burbling, my face turning an even deeper crimson than before, and then he just stared into my eyes lovingly.

"You don't know how long I've waited for this." The words murmured from his lips, the sound almost unintelligible.

"For what?"

"_This_. Us together." He signalled to our linked hands and I looked down at the table.

"Really?"

"Yeah. It hasn't exactly been easy…" At this I felt a pang of guilt shoot through my body, making me cringe in pain. All the times I had hurt Kurt, all the cruel and nasty things I had said, let happen to him...

"I am so sor-"

"-But it was worth it." I paused, surprised at the interruption. Kurt looked at me, his gaze suddenly strong and clear, no sense of hesitation. "It was worth it. All of it. For this." For a second I couldn't speak, so wrapped up in my emotions. Then suddenly my friend looked up, smiling.

"Looks like head jock waiter is back." Crap. I hadn't even looked at the menu.

* * *

><p>I was completely stuffed. For some reason Kurt hadn't been that hungry so I'd finished off his meal as well as my own. It had been delicious. Head jock waiter had served us well and as we split the bill I knew I wanted more of this. I wanted it <em>all<em>. As we walked back to our room I suddenly wondered what the plans for the evening were. Maybe Kurt had rented a movie, maybe we were going to fall asleep in each other's arms. Or maybe…

"Darn." Just as we were about to enter the threshold my friend turned round, looking annoyed.

"What is it?"

"I left my watch on the table. Could you go and get it for me?" Double darn. I was about to protest, say we'd get it later or even offer to buy a new one, but was suddenly hit with clear blue eyes and knew I couldn't resist.

"Of course." The extra walk would probably give my stomach time to settle anyway. As I left him behind and walked back down the corridor my brain was finally allowed time to think, clear of the beautiful haze that always seemed to surround it whenever Kurt was around.

* * *

><p>This had been <em>amazing<em>. The fair, the meal, just the whole day. The strangest part was that, apart from our endeavours in the car before our journey – I hadn't even thought about sex at all. Somehow even the smallest little things, the boring things I never even noticed when I'd been with girls, they were the best with him. I had changed. Not just in my preference for men – in other ways. I was a different person.

* * *

><p>I reached the door with watch in hand, reaching to open it but finding it locked. Hmm.<p>

"Kurt?" I wondered if he was in the shower, or maybe getting ready for bed. The faint sound of footsteps made their way to the door and then I heard the lock turning and the door open.

"Hi." The lights were off, something that confused me, but it wasn't completely dark. Kurt was still dressed in his clothes from dinner but he had removed his jacket and bow tie. There was something about the expanse of skin round his neck that was showing that suddenly made me hot under the collar.

"Got the watch." I said, holding up the item next to my face with a grin. Kurt smiled, taking it from me but then placing it on the nearby dresser, not really giving it a proper glance.

"Thanks."

"What's going on?" At this he took hold of my hand, his for some reason trembling slightly. I was led into the room and round the corner, where I suddenly noticed why the room wasn't totally dark. Candles. Everywhere.

"Um…" Kurt began to speak but I could tell her was nervous. Suddenly everything made sense – why he hadn't eaten, leaving the watch, _this_. This was it.

"I…" I turned round, grabbing hold of his other hand and pulling us closer together.

"Are you ready for this?" I asked. My friend nodded.

"Yes." His eyes were glinting in the candlelight, filled with nerves and fear but intense, intense love.

"Well then I am too."

* * *

><p>Slowly our heads moved closer together to allow lips to touch. When they did I sighed, bringing one of my hands up to cradle the back of his head and the other slipping to his back. Kurt let his rest on my waist and I felt the fingers press eagerly into the skin, soft pressure that already set my soul on fire. We kissed like that for a while, getting gradually deeper with each one, and then slowly I let the hand at Kurt's back move to un-tuck his shirt. As the fabric was pulled away my own shirt was loosened too and cold air hit my waistband, making me shiver.<p>

"Mmmn." Eager to progress but also not wanting to take things too fast I brought my hands up to undo the buttons on Kurt's shirt – he went to do then same but his fingers fumbled, making him curse. I used my mouth to cut him off and then did my buttons for him, both our shirts dropping to the floor so our chests pressed together. Every sensor in my body was active, alive with chemistry and desire. Kissing him deeply again I left my hands run down his back, feeling the contours of his skin and then bringing them round once I got back to his waist to undo his belt. Kurt bucked against me at the sensation and I moaned out, unable to control myself. Already we were both hard. It took a while before my brain could steady enough to get back to what I'd been doing but Kurt was already making hasty work of my belt. I knew exactly why he had reacted because just the feeling of his hands so near my crotch was driving me crazy. It was hard not to rip his clothes off in one go, but I had to take it slow. I had to make this special.

* * *

><p>Soon my pants were around my ankles. I hurried to catch up, still kissing Kurt ferociously as I did so and then all of a sudden we were just in our underwear. I pulled away for a second to look at my friend – to take in all of him right there in from of me. He was beautiful. I saw eyes staring back, full of love and kindness and nerves, and hooked my fingers into his waistband. Kurt had seen my dick many times before – I hadn't really seen his.<p>

I wasn't quite sure how to proceed so just went with how I normally removed undergarments. Obviously boxers were a little different to panties but I treated them with the same care and then Kurt was naked. Um, wow. There was a dick. Pretty similar to mine – exactly the same as the glances I'd caught during our exploits in the car. And hard. _Very _hard.

Suddenly I heard a clearing of the throat and realised I'd been staring. My face flushed crimson but Kurt immediately halted this by pulling down my own boxers. We were now completely naked in front of each other. There was no hiding now. Every sexual experience we'd ever had – at the party, in the cupboard, in Kurt's room – that was only the prequel. This was it.

"You are beautiful," a voice said, making my head flash back to reality. Unable to hold myself back any longer I threw myself onto him, crushing our lips together and then letting out one long moan. Oh my God we were touching.

* * *

><p>I hit the bed without even realising, Kurt falling on top of me so our dicks smashed together and I cried out again. The sensation was making my head explode so I bucked up, desperate to feel the friction again and Kurt thrust back, both of us mewling and sucking each other's faces off. <em>Shit<em>.

I could have gone on like that forever, dry humping and back scratching until the end of time, but then suddenly my friend pulled away. I gasped in some air after the loss of lip contact but then immediately went to pull him back in. Kurt had to fight and for a second that was even better than the humping before.

"_Blaine!"_ I finally relented, mainly because the sound of his voice so breathless had left me reeling, and he sat up, running his hands through his hair. Fuck I had never wanted someone so much in my life.

"We need to…um, prepare." He said. Oh yes. I'd read about this. Something about fingers and lube. Allowing Kurt to stretch over to the bedside table (and getting a marvellous view of his ass in the process) I watched him open the tube and squeeze something onto his fingers. It looked disgusting, but I figured it would obviously help, so allowed him to lather it on. Once his fingers were coated Kurt looked back at me.

"Are you sure you still want this?" Yes, damn sure.

"Yes."

"It's going to hurt." I know I know just get on with it.

"I know."

"If you want me to stop just-"

"-Kurt get your fingers in me now." My friend blushed, making me realise just how confident I sounded. I wasn't at all. I was the novice in all of this. Maybe it _would_ hurt. Relaxing my body like I remembered it saying Kurt positioned himself and then I felt a finger circling my hole. Oh, ok, that felt good.

"Mmmn." I said, trying to make it clear I was still ok. Kurt took that as the green light and then suddenly his finger was inside.

* * *

><p><em>Fuck<em>.

My whole ass felt like someone had stuck a poker up it. The scream that flew from my lips was unstoppable and Kurt immediately tensed.

"_Blaine_? Are you ok?" No I wasn't. The pain was coursing through me – unfamiliar pain through a totally unfamiliar experience. Was this what gay sex was really like?

"Blaine shall I stop?" My eyes were screwed up in anguish so I couldn't see his face, but with my teeth grit together I shook my head.

"No." There must be something good from this. Otherwise nobody would ever do it. Kurt still didn't move so I had to make some kind of signal, shifting so the finger moved and I had to jam my teeth down on my lip to stop the scream. Please, just do _something_.

"_Kurt_!" Finally there was movement again, slower than before, but still just as painful. God the burning was horrific. It filled me up right to my hair and made me want to break something. If Kurt had ever tried this before now I think I might have murdered him.

"Blaine…" My friend sounded almost on the verge of tears and I suddenly felt a hand on my face, desperately trying to stroke away the wrinkles on my face, prise my eyes open. Please…please…

Then he hit it.

The shout was instant – just as loud as the last one. But this one was different.

"OHMYGOD!" Holy shit what had just happened. It was like the pain had suddenly been hit by a bolt of lightening pleasure. _Intense_ pleasure.

"Blaine?" I opened my eyes to see Kurt looking confused – his poor little face seeming like it was about to crumple.

"Do that again."

"What?"

"What you just did!" Finally he seemed to realise and moved his finger just that little inch forward again.

HOLY SHIT.

"KurtOHMYGOD!" This was it. This was what made guys fuck like rabbits. That tiny little cluster of nerves – what was it called? My prostate? Oh sweet Jesus. Looking back up at Kurt I saw him finally smiling – the sweat was already beginning to drip down my face and I gripped hold of his other hand.

"_More_." Suddenly there were two fingers inside of me. I howled out in pain again but then straight after there was the intense pleasure. I felt like I was being tossed from heaven to hell – back and fourth relentlessly. Kurt quickened his pace, now beginning to scissor and then there were three and four fingers inside. Surely it couldn't get better than this – did we even need to involve his dick?

"Oh! _Oh!_" Then just like that they were all gone. I cried out at the loss, my ass suddenly feeling incredibly empty. He couldn't take that away, just when it was getting good!

"Kurt!" My hand flailed around for my friend, desperate to get him back and his fingers inside me again, It was only when I opened my eyes and saw the lube open again that I realised what was happening.

"_Blaine_." Kurt's eyes almost seemed to be rolling to the back of his head, his hand working his dick ferociously. I was almost worried he would get himself off prematurely so reached out a finger to prod his leg. This made him turn his gaze to me and I felt the same intense lust coarse through me.

"Fuck me." That was it. Kurt was on top of me, kissing me deeper and more wildly than ever before. His lubed hand was running all over me and then I felt my legs being hoisted over his shoulders. Hmm, not the most stately of positions. But right now I was ready to explode if I didn't get something.

"Blaine!" Kurt moaned, almost as if he was too overcome to actually do anything. I gripped hold of his arm, locking eye contact and speaking right from the bottom on my soul.

"Fuck me Kurt."

* * *

><p>A dick feels nothing like four fingers.<p>

As soon as I felt it broach the burning was back. I tried to hold off my scream as much as I could but it was hard – Kurt faltered so I literally had to jam my hips into him to get him inside. Oh fuck that hurt.

"MOVE!" I shouted. It was funny how I was taking control when I had no idea what I was doing. I was just trying to get rid of the pain and replace it with the intense pleasure again. My friend moved slowly, painfully so, and then he drew back out.

"You have to…rhythm…"

"Kurt!"

"_Fuck_ you're so tight Blaine. So…_tight_…" He pushed back in, a little smoother than before and I took in another gasp of air. The intense concentration was making me forget to breathe.

"_Blaine_…" Then he hit the spot again.

"OH GOD! THERE!" My hands gripped onto Kurt's thighs, almost vice like. I had to steady myself, ride the incredible high that was coursing through me. Holy…

"Blaine!" My friend rocked into me again, now hitting exactly the right spot and I screamed once more. The pleasure was now so intense and constant that the pain didn't register anymore – the burning a faint reminder against the sheer bliss I was encased in now.

A rhythm began to build – thrust, scream, moan, thrust, scream moan. Despite the repetitiveness every hit was different and every cry louder than the last. I was practically writhing around the bed, hands moving to grip every part of Kurt possible. He had his eyes closed and his head thrown back, revealing neck that I just wanted to kiss, to suck on hard and leave a mark that would claim this amazing person as my own. Pretty soon I began to thrust back, pushing his cock in even deeper and completely filling me with exultation. If I died now I wouldn't care. This was heaven.

* * *

><p>We seemed to be going at it for hours, the pleasure building constantly, but then I felt my stomach begin to coil. It was coming. My first gay sex orgasm.<p>

"Kurt! I'm close!" I shouted, still unable to keep my voice anything under 90 decibels. He responded emphatically, increasing his pace and force so he was practically ramming into me. I yanked his head in close, pressing our lips together despite the fact we were still moving so I could taste him as I came. It was coming, it was coming…

"OH!" As I released Kurt's name flew from my lips – over and over again until I was well and truly spent. He followed swiftly – hot liquid spurting into me like a different form of the burning and then we were done. My friend collapsed on top of me, all of his energy completely spent. Neither of us were able to speak but we held each other close until the final haze of our orgasms drifted away.

_Wow._

I had never experienced anything like it. Sex, sex had always been something trivial to me. Fun, yes, amazing, yes, kinky-as-hell at times. But it had never been like _that_.

* * *

><p>Kurt finally stirred after a few minutes. He was still inside me and as he slipped out I let out a soft moan, the emptiness just as aching as before. Knowing I was now conscious he moved his face to mine and our lips connected in a soft kiss – one I shouldn't even have had the energy for but somehow found.<p>

"That…" He began, but I cut him off. Now wasn't the time for words. Pulling him close I pulled up the covers on the bed, resting my chest against his and feeling his heart still beating above average, letting our deep heady breaths mingle as we both drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>The light poked through the gap in the curtains, blinding me. I immediately held up my hand, making the covers around me fall back, and then I felt something stir beside me. Looking back I saw Kurt nestled against my frame, his eyes still closed in blissful sleep and his legs entwined with mine. I let the sunlight be and focused my gaze on him, taking in every part. Chestnut brown hair, short and soft to the touch. Smooth porcelain skin, soft cheery red lips. It was hard to believe someone so innocent could even stand to be around me - let alone do what we had done last night. This man, was perfect. And he was <em>mine<em>.

"Morning." Suddenly I heard a voice and realised that Kurt's eyes had opened. For a second I was startled by their clarity – shining pools of blue.

"Hi."

"Did you sleep well?" He smiled, a smile that made my heart melt and I leant in, smiling back.

"Yes." We kissed softly and I savoured the moment, keeping our lips together for as long as possible and pulling them away slowly. As we drew away and stared into each other's eyes I had to force myself to hold in the emotion.

"Me too." I couldn't remember the last time I'd slept in the same bed with someone, especially naked. It just felt so right, and the fact that Kurt was just as happy about it as me was yet another thing I loved about him.

Wait.

Had I…?

"Blaine?" Suddenly Kurt's amazing eyes looked confused, worried. Immediately I leant forward and kissed him again, wanting to sweep the doubt away, but my head was spinning. _That thought_, that tiny little thought I hadn't even noticed. Just like all the other things I hadn't seen. It had crept up on me, _Kurt _had crept up and now…

"Kurt."

"Yes Blaine."

"I'm in love with you."

* * *

><p>The body beside me froze.<p>

"Did you just…?" I nodded.

"Yes." I almost felt like laughing. This was so ridiculous. I'd spoken the words I'd never ever spoken to anybody else ever before. And I meant them.

"Are you _serious_?" Kurt had now sat up, his face filled with shock and delight. I nodded my head again, unable to stop the joyful laughter.

"Yes!"

"Oh my God!" Suddenly I was being attacked – kisses all over my face, my nose, my cheeks, my mouth – deep deep kisses on my mouth filled with passion and love and sheer sheer happiness.

"I love you too!" he exclaimed once we'd broken away, holding my face in his hands and struggling to speak. "I've loved you for so long but never thought I could say it and now you OHMYGOD!" I laughed, rubbing my fingers along his cheekbones and holding him close. This wonderful boy that had never given up on me, persevered, gone through so much crap all for the sake of my happiness.

**I loved him.**


	12. The BreakUp

_This would have been posted yesterday if this website wasn't a total and utter asshat :D_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12 - The Break-Up<strong>

I was in love.

The sickly, all-consuming, vomit-inducing love.

Kurt and I had had breakfast in bed at the hotel. We'd sat under the sheets, feeding each other bits of toast and wiping crumbs off our laps. Then we'd turned on the TV and watched re-runs of Friends nestled up against each other – laughing at the jokes and glancing in each other's direction every minute or so to share a loving kiss. Of course, I was mind-numbingly sore - something I hadn't quite expected or realised came from totally amazing sex, but once again Kurt was there to offer me advice and soothe the pain with affection. If the me from a few months ago had seen us he probably would have shot himself in the head. But I didn't care. This was the happiest I'd ever been.

After our weekend away we'd had to return to Lima, something that crushed my spirit beyond belief. Gone was the freedom and back was the hiding. Now I had realised my feelings it was even harder to keep them a secret. I just wanted to _kiss_ him all the time. We struggled through however, and it was the thought of the evenings that kept me going throughout the day.

* * *

><p>"Dude…"<p>

"DUDE!" I was suddenly awoken from my daydream, jerking to life and almost knocking over my drink. Puck's hand shot out to steady it and he gave me a look. Yeah, I know dude, _I know_.

"What?" I hadn't been listening to a word they'd been saying. Pretty much every conversation that didn't involve Kurt bored me to tears now.

"Don't you think it's super lame that they moved that pop quiz to this Friday?"

"Um, yeah." No I didn't. I wasn't going to fail it. I was good at math now.

"It's not just lame. It's _shit_." Quinn seemed more irate that usual. She was gripping onto her fork very tightly and stabbing into her salad like it had offended her. Not that I cared. As the sound of metal screeching against porcelain rang across the hall Rory jumped. He was still valiantly sitting with us and trying to join in the discussion like he normally did. He could take my place if he wanted.

Suddenly I was distracted by someone entering the cafeteria across the other side of the room. Kurt waltzed over to a half-empty table, perching on the end and beginning to neatly unwrap his sandwiches. I wished he didn't have to sit on his own. I wished I could call him over, or better yet, leave my friends behind and join him. My eyes were fixed on the side of his face and suddenly he looked over – our eyes connecting for a split second. It was like electricity coursing through me. Immediately we both looked away, small smiles creeping on our faces and then I saw him run his fingers pointedly through his hair. I mirrored the movement. Our way of saying 'I love you'.

"So are you going?" Shit. I'd not been listening again. Seeing Quinn looking at me expectantly I struggled for an answer. Rory and Puck just stared at me.

"Um…going to what?"

"Finn's party! Jesus Blaine are you on planet _Mars_ or something?" Ok, something was _definitely_ up with Quinn. Maybe she was on her period.

"Finn's holding a party at his house. At least two kegs." I nodded in thanks at Puck who had explained. Finn holding a party? I was surprised I had been invited. But then again – it was at his house. Kurt's house.

"Yeah. I'm in." I tried not to make it obvious that I was excited. Wondering if Kurt was going to be there, if people would be drunk enough to not notice I was gone…

"Good." Quinn finally dropped her fork down on her empty plate and got to her feet. "Are you coming Blaine?"

"Nah." I replied, not even bothering to look in her direction. "Got Trig." An exasperated sigh filled my ears and then with a rush of air she was gone.

"What was up with her?" I asked with a shrug.

* * *

><p>"Did you hear about the party?" The rest of the school day had passed by in a blur and I was sitting alone on my bed. It was Finn's week to stay at the Hummel house again so Kurt and I were doing our normal routine of talking on the phone. I had been seriously tempted to invite him over to mine, but knew it was virtually impossible. There was too much of a risk of someone finding us.<p>

"What party?" The sound of Kurt's voice relaxed me beyond belief, to the point where I could almost jerk off to it.

"Finn's party! At your house."

"Oh yeah. _That_." I noted the disproval immediately.

"I'm gonna be there."

"Really?" It made my heart swell to hear my boyfriend's change of tone – suddenly to hopeful.

"Yeah. With Quinn."

"Oh."

"But I'll still be there. Maybe we could find a room…"

"_Blaine_. It's a _party_. There's no way we wouldn't get caught."

"Mmmn. Just suggesting."

"I know." It was funny how relaxed about us I was now. Of course nobody could ever find out – and I would never do anything stupid – but it had got to the point where I was so desperate for some kind of daily contact with Kurt that I was willing to take a few chances.

"Maybe one day we could go to our own party. In Columbus or something." I heard a sigh down the phone and wished I could reach through the receiver and stroke his face.

"I'd like that."

* * *

><p>Suddenly there was a knock at my door. The sound made me jump up and almost drop the phone.<p>

"Shit. There's someone at my door. Gotta go."

"Oh, ok." Kurt sounded sad and my heart ached, but I had to sign off quickly.

"Speak to you soon. I love you."

"I love you too." Just as I pressed the end call button my door opened and a face peeked round.

"Blaine?" Wow. I hadn't been expecting _that_ person.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?" I nodded my head and my Dad fully entered the room, walking over and perching himself on the end of the bed. What the hell was he doing here? Was something wrong?

"Don't worry, nothing's wrong." He said, obviously reading my expression. "I just want to talk." Hmmm. This was worrying. My Dad hadn't expressed a personal interest in my life for the past three months.

"What's up." I watched him pause, trying to think of the right way to start. The expression of his face when he concentrated was incredibly similar to mine – I could see why we were compared to each other so often. And why we clashed.

"You seem…happier at the moment." The words made me stop dead. What? That was unexpected. Looking back I saw brown eyes staring back at me, searching for a response.

"Um…yeah. I guess I am." Did he know something? Had Dean blabbed?

"Well I'm happy. I'm happy that you're happy." For a few seconds we just looked at each other, both unsure what to say. I was still completely confused by the entire conversation and what it meant.

"I know it hasn't been easy, recently. For you." Dad started talking again and I realised what he was saying was important. Something that hadn't been said for a while. "I haven't made it easy. But I was struggling too. Simone, she…she made it easier." I started to play with my fingers, looking down at them nervously. "I kind of forced her onto us because, because it was my way of coping. And I know I don't cope well – neither of us do. But I had to do it. So we didn't fall apart." Suddenly I felt emotions begin to bubble inside me. Emotions I hadn't felt in a long time. Not even around Kurt.

"Dad…"

"And I shouldn't have asked her to move in without your permission. I should have checked. But you would have said no. You do _like_ Simone don't you?" I had to think about my answer. I'd gone through so much of my life hating her – just for no particular reason loathing the ground she walked on – but that opinion had changed. She was accepting.

"Yeah. I guess I do." Dad smiled, something I hadn't genuinely seen for too long, and I suddenly realised there were tears in his eyes. Oh hell.

"Thank you. That means a lot." He shifted a little closer and I had to blink back the own tears forming in my eyes. No Blaine. It was bad enough one Anderson was crying. Let alone two.

"I love you Blaine. I know it might not seem like it sometimes, but I do. And I'm happy you managed to get through whatever was bothering you, even without my help." He looked up at me, straight into my eyes, and then held out his arms.

I was in them like a shot.

"I love you too Dad." As we hugged, both of us desperately trying to reign in the emotions that were threatening to explode from our chests, I couldn't help but wonder if Dad would feel the same if he knew the truth about me. If he knew who I really was. Would I still be his son? Would he still love me as much as he did now? Right now I didn't care. He was here and I needed him.

* * *

><p>Everyone was talking about the party. Everyone who was everyone was going. For a brief period of time I remembered what it was like to live in this world – where everything revolved around who you were hanging around with, what you were doing, who you dated. Remarkably my fake relationship with Quinn was still going strong and I knew she would be hanging off my arm from the moment we stepped through the Hummel front door. I was kind of grateful, but at the same time I had experienced the other side of life – the side with Kurt. I liked that better.<p>

* * *

><p>I had to pick Quinn up from her house so sat outside in my car tapping the steering wheel with my fingers. She was late – as per usual. I hadn't understood what took girls so goddamn long to get ready when I was straight and I still didn't get it now. Glancing at my phone I saw a text from Kurt and smiled.<p>

**People are getting here now. Time for me to hide.**

**I'm on my way. You better not hide from me.**

As I typed the reply in I imagined him sitting upstairs somewhere, maybe in his room, maybe in the bathroom. I had to see him tonight, if only for a few seconds.

Suddenly there was a banging on my window and I jerked my head away from my phone to see Quinn hammering her fist against it. Jesus Christ.

"Ok, ok." I said, hurriedly reaching over to open the door. It was opened and my girlfriend stumbled in, almost hitting her head on the gear stick. Wait – was she _drunk_? How on _earth_ had she got past her parents?

"Quinn what the hell man?" I asked, more annoyed than concerned. She responded by leaning over and kissing me passionately – something I didn't respond to.

"You look so hot tonight." She slurred, making my skin crawl. "Can we just stay here?" I felt her hand move towards my crotch and immediately pushed her back onto the seat.

"_Quinn_. We're right outside your house. Let's go." A muffled sound of annoyance filled the car but I ignored it, starting the ignition and setting off.

* * *

><p>The party was in full swing when we arrived – the music booming out of the open door and the sound of drunken chatter filling the air. I hauled Quinn to the doorway already annoyed by her clinginess and paused in front of it, looking inside. It seemed strange to be stepping through it in this scenario – the house now so familiar to me. I wondered where Kurt was and was just about to send him a text when Puck spotted up from across the room and called out.<p>

"Hey! Blaine!" Immediately I was bombarded with people, all wanting to talk to me. Quinn lolled over me like some helpless puppy and when Rory offered to get me a drink I didn't say no. I was gonna have to get _drunk_ tonight.

* * *

><p>An hour later I was wasted. People had been bringing me shots all over the place and I had taken them gratefully. I hadn't even seen Finn yet but if I did I was going to thank him for such a rocking party.<p>

**Whefre are yooooou?**

I'd sent the text five minutes ago but hadn't had a reply - the lack of contact beginning to get me ancy. Was he avoiding me?

**Upstairs**

Finally. As I struggled to reply Quinn said something that I didn't hear. She tried to grab hold of my phone but I held it away, giving her a shove.

**Comhje downand seee me**

I pressed send and then surveyed the area I was currently situated in. Quinn and I were on the sofa – both of us taking up the whole thing, and Rory was perched awkwardly on the chair next to us, just watching. Puck and Mike were doing yet more shots and Sam was attempting to rap along to Stereo Hearts booming out of the speakers. I guess when they were drunk these guys were pretty cool. I was cool when I was drunk. I was awesome.

"Blaiiiine…" I was just about to respond to Quinn's drawling words when I spotted a figure appear quickly through the door.

"KURT!" Everyone turned to look at me, and then the person I was shouting at. My boyfriend looked mortified.

"Kurt! Come over!" I beckoned with my arms frantically but he didn't move. Why wasn't he coming? Didn't he want to see me?

"Yeah Kurt! Come over!" Suddenly Puck joined in, beckoning with his arms too. Cool, thanks Puck. I just wanted one kiss. One little kiss…

"Dontcha wanna come and say hi?" Suddenly they were all laughing – I couldn't understand so looked over at my boyfriend but he still seemed livid. I held out my arms but he shook his head, before swiftly leaving the room.

"Hey!" I cried out in annoyance and the rest of the guys laughed again. This wasn't funny. What had I done wrong?

"He wouldn't come over…" I said to Quinn. She seemed to find this funny too and ran her hands languidly through my hair.

"That's because he wants you and you're with me." She leant in to kiss me but I suddenly felt my phone vibrate and fumbled to get it.

**Bathroom. NOW.**

Oh goody. Immediately swinging my legs round and probably kicking Quinn in the process I struggled to my feet.

"Hey! Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom." Not bothering to listen to the response I stumbled out of the living room and made my way to the other room.

* * *

><p>Once I'd shut and locked the door behind me I was surprised to find nobody inside.<p>

"Kuuuurt? Where are youuuu?" I began to look under towels and in the toilet, wondering if he was hiding somewhere. "I'm heeeere! Come outttt!" Suddenly my phone began to buzz and I answered it.

"Heyyy! Where are yooou?"

"Shut up. Just seriously shut up!" I was startled by the harsh response, rocking back and forth in a daze for a second.

"Why are you being mean?"

"Because _you_ are being an idiot! What the hell were you _doing_ in there! People can't see us together!"

"I just wanted to say hiii. Why wouldn't you come over?"

"Because I'm not stupid. You are wasted – we need to sober you up. Come to my room."

"Your room?" Ooh. Finally. Already wanting to be there I ran to the door and began fiddling with the lock again.

"Yes. Don't talk to ANYONE on your way there."

"Ok! See you soon!"

* * *

><p>I knocked on the door to Kurt's room, at least remembering a little common courtesy. My forehead rested against the wood as I waited for a reply but when nothing came I grabbed hold of the handle. He'd told me not to talk to anyone so I opened the door without a sound.<p>

Kurt was inside, sitting on the bed. Immediately I smiled, rushing over, but when I went to kiss him he pushed me away roughly.

"_Heyy!_"

"You hey! Blaine!" I could tell he was angry with me, something that made me so upset I wanted to cry.

"Kurttt? What's wrong?"

"What's _wrong_ is that you nearly just outed yourself to all your friends! Are you STUPID?" Had I? Oh shit, I guess I had. Suddenly I felt terrible.

"Yes. Yes I am." As Kurt saw my expression change his immediately softened.

"Oh Blaine." He reached over and handed me a glass of water, which I took gratefully, my hands shaking from the alcohol.

"What were you drinking?"

"Shots." I replied, as if that was all the explanation needed.

"Why?"

"Because without you my life sucks." It was perhaps a little honest, but I was drunk. You were always too honest when you were drunk. I knew that all too well.

"Well I'm here now." Kurt replied, bringing his hand up to rub my back gently. I shivered at the touch and looked up at him, managing to lock eye contact even through my hazy vision and sighed.

"I'm still super mad at you though."

"Oh really? Why?" I replied with a smirk. Kurt smiled back.

"You nearly ruined everything."

"Did I ruin this?" Rolling over I pressed my lips to his, almost spilling the glass of water I was still holding.

"Blaine!" Kurt protested, although he was finding it hard to fight me off. "Drink your water first." I broke away to swiftly down the rest of the drink in my hand and then tossed the empty glass onto the bed, throwing myself on top of him.

* * *

><p>My alcohol-influenced state meant I was a lot more touchy-feely than usual – I wanted Kurt and I wanted him bad. As I fastened my lips to his I immediately let my hands travel down to his crotch and began to palm him – my boyfriend let out a moan but I bit down on his tongue to silence him.<p>

"Ssssh." Oh Kurt. Kurt you were so hot. You were everything I ever wanted in this world and you were here and I could take you any way I wanted.

"Let me fuck you." I breathed. "I want to do it. Let me."

"No." Kurt gasped back, sounding very much like he _did_ want me to. "Not here. Too many people…"

"Let them watch. I want them to." I palmed him again, dipping my tongue into his ear and suddenly my boyfriend was biting on my shoulder to muffle the scream.

"_Blaine. Fuck Blaine_…"

"So whaddaya say?" I was just about to get a response when suddenly there was a bang on the door.

"Blaaaaine?"

* * *

><p>Shit.<p>

Immediately Kurt was off me, almost too quickly for me to even tell him to. Both of us still had intense hunger in our eyes, but we knew what was more important now. Hurriedly looking around for somewhere to hide my boyfriend jumped into the closet and shut the door. I grabbed to cushion to hide my massive erection and then Quinn burst into the room, still just as horrendously drunk as she was before.

"There you aaaare!" Stumbling over she collapsed onto the bed, crawling over so I had to push the cushion down further, praying she wouldn't see it. "I was looking for you for agggges! You said you went to the bathhrooom."

"I did." It was ridiculously hard to get rid of the arousal, especially in my still half-drunken state. Quinn suddenly looked up at me, her gaze drunken but intense and pressed her hand to my chest.

"I want you." Oh fuck. Suddenly a body was thrown on top of me, knocking the cushion away so Quinn landed on me and squealed out in delight.

"Blaine!" Oh shit. She thought the hard on was for her. No, it was for the boy hiding in the closet. The boy that could hear all of this.

"Let's just do thisss. Let's just fucccck. We haven't in soooo long. I want you so bad." Suddenly she was stripping, right in front of me. A dress flung to the floor, corset undone. No no no. I didn't want this and Kurt _certainly_ didn't want to hear it.

"Quinn!"

"Oh yes! Say my name Blaine! Say my name!" She was already rocking on me, grinding her hips in deeper just the way Kurt did. But there was nothing to grind back on. I had to…

"QUINN!" In a flash I sat up, throwing my girlfriend off me onto the bed roughly. She let out a cry of surprise and then looked at me in annoyance.

"Blaine! What the fuck!"

"Just get off me! I'm sick of it! I'm sick of pretending that I care about you, that I even LIKE you anymore! You're a whore!" At this Quinn looked shocked. I knew it was harsh, horrible even, but I didn't care. I should have done this a while ago.

"Blaine! Shut up!"

"No, YOU shut up! Shut up and just leave me the fuck alone!" By now I'd moved to the other side of the bed, as far away from her as possible. Her expression was unreadable – a mixture of anger, hurt and sadness.

"But I love you Blaine!"

"Well I never loved you! We are THROUGH!" At this Quinn finally got up, tears running down her face, but not of sadness. To be honest I just thought they were for sympathy.

"FINE! _FINE_! I DON'T NEED YOU! _FUCK YOU_!" Leaving her clothes behind she staggered out of the room, wrenching the door open and letting out a loud childish scream as she slammed it shut.

* * *

><p>I lay out on the bed, Thinking about what had just happened. Quinn and I were over. I no longer had a girlfriend and a boyfriend.<p>

Boyfriend.

Immediately I flicked my eyes to the closet. I hadn't heard any movement so guessed Kurt was still hiding. Or silently crying in the corner.

"Kurt?" I asked, almost afraid of what I might hear in response. Slowly the door opened. Revealing my boyfriend looking a little shaken, but ok.

"Kurt?" I watch him stand up, close the door behind him and walk over to me.

"Let's go downstairs."

* * *

><p>It was the top story the next day. The King and Queen of McKinley were no more. Everywhere I went I received sympathetic looks, pats on the back, even hi fives from some extremely tactless guys. I didn't care. There hadn't been a monarchy for quite a while. Really it was a relief – yes it made the pretending slightly harder, but I looked at it as a chance to finally concentrate on the relationship I wanted. The gay one.<p>

* * *

><p>As I sat in the cafeteria I was surrounded by girls. Tall girls, short girls, skinny girls, no so skinny girls. All of them had heard the news and they were excited. Excited that Blaine Anderson was single and they might now get a turn on the ride. Hah.<p>

"Are you ok sweetie?" Sugar Motta was currently sitting as close to me as possible, her arm lounging over me as she rubbed my back and played with my hair. On the other side I had Brittany Pierce picking pieces of lint off my jumper and Santana Lopez was even organising my bag for me. I was surprised – I thought she and Quinn were best friends.

"Yeah I'm fine." I said, my voice void of any real emotion. As a result of all the females there was also a fairly large male contingent at my table – Sam, Mike and Rory currently having their go with the girls that hadn't managed to get close to me.

"I still can't believe she went and got with Puck straight after. What a bitch." Apparently Quinn had been so mad she'd walked into the party in her underwear literally offering someone sex – Puck had been the first guy to jump in and as a result they were possibly the only two people not here. Apart from Finn of course. I found it rather funny.

"She was never good enough for you anyway. Was she Tana?"

"Nah. You can do so much better Blaine. _So_ much better." I ignored the obvious subtext in those words, gazing around the room for something that would occupy my mind when suddenly my phone buzzed. Aha.

"One second ladies." Stepping away from the table to many cries of 'no!' I opened the text and smiled.

**Come and meet me by the science lockers**

Finally someone that I wanted to see. Kurt had been surprisingly absent from the cafeteria and I hadn't heard from him all day. Quickly texting my reply of

**Be right there**

I grabbed my things from Santana and went off without saying another word.

* * *

><p>I immediately felt my mood lift as I thought about my upcoming meeting. True – it was a little odd that we were meeting in the day, especially with my current high profile - but to be honest, I didn't care. The people here were boring me and I wanted someone real to talk to. Maybe once we graduated Kurt and I could get a place together, somewhere where we wouldn't have to hide, where I could talk to him any time I wanted.<p>

I was so engrossed in my plans, walking down the corridors on autopilot, that as I turned the corner I didn't notice the figure standing next to the lockers until he was right there, his face stretched into an evil grin.

"Hello Blaine."


	13. The Discovery

_Ok, so hopefully everyone has begun to recover from Tuesday's episode. I still haven't watched it because I've been too busy (too busy for GLEE? I know right) but I know it was pretty horrible_

_Sadly however this is not going to make it any better. This chapter actually made me depressed writing it :( Sorry guys_

_Liz xxx_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 13 - The Discovery<strong>

FUCK.

Instantly my whole world crashed down around me. I thought about running away, but then realised it was too late. He'd seen me now. Instead I tried another approach.

"Hey Finn." Trying to look as casual as possible I strolled past the huge boy, but suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Aren't you supposed to be meeting someone?" He asked. FUCK. He knew. This was it. I was done.

"No." My voice was wavering, I knew there was no way out.

"That's funny. Because I've got a text from you here saying you were on your way to meet Kurt."

Immediately I spun around.

"_What_?" Finn held up the phone, a small little red thing, and my heart dropped further.

"Recognise this?" How the fuck had he got it. How the fuck had he taken it away.

"That's theft." I replied, now reaching desperation levels. "That's theft. You took it from him."

"Theft? Kurt's my brother. He left his phone on the kitchen table and I picked it up to give back to him. Pity I haven't been able to find him yet." I was gonna kill Finn. KILL him. I hated him with every fibre in my body. _Why_. The tall boy looked at me, that horrible menacing grin still on his face, waiting for some kind of response.

"What's wrong? Cat got your tongue? The _mighty_ Blaine Anderson is suddenly speechless? Isn't that a turnaround!" I wanted to die. Literally wanted to die.

"I know. I know everything. How you come to our house when I'm not there, where you went last weekend. You think I wouldn't be able to put the pieces together? Kurt has a new boyfriend and you're suddenly off Quinn? You're even stupider than I thought." How had this happened? How had he found out? We'd been so careful…

"I thought the party might give me a few more clues, put the final pieces together, but then you just went right out and _called_ for him. You made it too fucking easy Anderson, _too fucking easy_. And now I'm going to ruin you."

* * *

><p>No.<p>

He had the phone. The phone with every text I'd ever sent Kurt. The ones that said I love you and I can't wait to see you and that sex we had last night was amazing. He had _everything_.

"Finn _please_. Don't do this." Suddenly I was begging. Literally _begging_ for my life.

"_Don't do this_? Who _are_ you? When did you ever spare a thought for _me_? You took _everything_ away from me – my girlfriend, my captaincy, my friends. You thought you were _so_ _fucking special_. Well now you're gonna know what it feels like." I could see the anger boiling in the jock's face, the pure hatred seeping out of his pores.

"Finn! I'm not that person anymore I swear! I don't want any of it! Take the captaincy!" Finn laughed.

"And miss out on all of _this_? I've been waiting years to see you fall on your face. Now I get to be the person to do it." There was no way out. This was it. My life was over.

* * *

><p>Did I deserve this? Sure, I was a douchebag. I'd walked all over people and not thought a thing about it. But I had changed. Kurt had changed me. Now it was all going to be for nothing.<p>

"I suggest you go find your little _boyfriend_, warn him he's missing his phone. Run along now." I didn't need to be told twice. Sprinting off in the other direction, the sound of Finn's laughter echoing around the corridors behind me, I headed towards the main corridor.

* * *

><p>Kurt.<p>

I had to find Kurt.

Oh God. How had this happened? How had everything been ruined? I had no idea where he even was – without his phone it was useless. Oh God.

My head was so full of panic I didn't look where I was going, turning a corner and smashing into Quinn.

"Shit!" I cried out, startled by the sudden presence of somebody else. I went to run straight past her when suddenly felt something whiz past and smack me in the face.

"YOU BASTARD!" _What?_ Had she just _slapped_ me?

"Quinn what the fuck?"

"YOU CHEATED ON ME!" Oh fuck. This was _not_ the fucking time Quinn. _Not the fucking time_.

"Yeah so what I cheated on you. You probably did it to me." My hurried response didn't go down too well – Quinn's face flushing with rage,

"NO I DIDN'T! I loved you! And you fooled around with that mathlete SLUT!" Wait a second…

"Did Puck tell you about this?"

"OF COURSE HE DID! He actually respects me!" Oh yeah. Just like he respects the bond of trust he has with his best friend. Guess he'd never really gotten over her and had used it as ammunition. The fact she still thought it was a girl was good though. Finn hadn't told anyone else yet.

"Look Quinn I would love to stay and chat about what a shit boyfriend I was, but I kind of have to go now." I went to push past her but she blocked my path, holding out her arms and screaming.

"NO! I AM NOT LETTING YOU PAST UNTIL YOU EXPLAIN THIS!"

"Fine." I turned round and sprinted in the opposite direction. Honestly – there were other ways out of this goddamn school.

* * *

><p>So. Finn knew about Kurt and Quinn knew I'd cheated on her. I couldn't find my boyfriend and pretty soon the whole school was going to know about our relationship. As my feet pounded down the corridor I wondered if this day could get any worse than it already was. Then I turned another corner and I realised it could.<p>

* * *

><p>A massive crowd of people blocked the entrance to the school. If you glanced at them for a second you would think they were all waiting for a teacher to come and give them something. As soon as they heard my entrance and all turned round I realised they were all waiting for me. Standing at the head of the crowd was Finn, still with that victorious smirk plastered across his face. Karofsky and Azimio were standing next to him and held between their huge hands, struggling to break free, was Kurt.<p>

**Fuck.**

* * *

><p>"Kurt!" As soon as I called out his name my boyfriend looked up, immediately calling back for me.<p>

"Blaine! Help me!" I went to run forward but suddenly felt my own arms being gripped hold of and saw Sam and Mike looking at me in disdain. Wait – these guys were supposed to be my friends...

"Let me go! Let me GO!" Suddenly Quinn appeared looking rather satisfied with herself and I realised I'd been set up. This had all been a set up.

"Well, now that everybody is here we can finally begin." Finn hushed the crowd and began his speech. He commanded them with ease, almost like he was about to give a team talk on the football pitch. I bet he was loving this – being the centre of attention. I bet he felt like God.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I have brought you here today to let you in on a secret. A secret that has been going on right in front of our eyes, carefully concealed. Mr Blaine Anderson over here," he signalled in my direction and I felt hundreds of eyes on me, boring into my skin, "is a liar and a cheat. He was cheating on Miss Quinn Fabray." Instantly gasps rag out through the crowd. Quinn looked like she was about to burst with satisfaction, happy I was getting humiliated for my actions. I also noticed Puck had appeared, standing next to her but making no effort to help me in any way.

"Oh no! Just you wait! It gets better!" Finn turned to look at me, knowing what he was going to say next. His smile widened and I closed my eyes, suddenly hoping this was all some horrific nightmare and I would wake up in Kurt's arms.

"The person he was cheating on her _with_…Mr Kurt Hummel!" As Kurt was revealed to the crowd everything went deathly quiet. Quinn screamed, falling onto Puck who caught and held her up. Everyone else turned to look at me. Shit. Had Quinn not known? Finn had played her too. He'd played everyone – even his own brother. But most of all he had played me.

"Yes! That's right everybody! Blaine Anderson is a fag! A boyfucking FAG!" Suddenly Kurt screamed out, obviously pained to hear the words being spoken out loud.

"Shut up! Blaine is not a bad person!" Karofsky punched him in the gut and I let out a cry of anguish, causing everyone to look at me again. Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

"Zip it Kurt. Come on Blaine! Wanna tell everybody your secret? How you've been fucking this boy for _months_?" More gasps rang out. Glances were being exchanged - people who hours earlier had followed me around adoringly - worshipped the ground I walked on, aspired to be me. Shit. I couldn't cope with this. I couldn't cope with how everyone was staring at me. Like I was some piece of shit on the floor.

"You're lying!" As soon as I shouted the words Kurt's face fell. Finn looked surprised, but then his face stretched back into an even wider grin.

"Oh really? I'm_ lying _Blaine?

"Yes! You're doing this to get rid of me!"

"Am I? Then you won't mind me doing _this_." Signalling to Azimio and Karofsky they suddenly began beating the shit out of Kurt.

"NO!" Eyes flashed to me again – I realised what my reaction meant and struggled to hold it back. Kurt was screaming out in pain, screaming for me to stop it, _please Blaine please_. I couldn't.

"Do you wanna tell us _now_ Blaine? Do you wanna tell us about your _boyfriend_?" Finn was almost cackling, watching in delight as his brother was punched in the face, the gut, the knees. He was gonna get him killed if he wasn't careful.

"NO! STOP THIS! NO!"

"Only if you tell us Blaine! Only if you confess!"

"THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN ME AND KURT!"

* * *

><p>Suddenly everyone fell silent. I'd pretty much used all the voice I had left, slumping down into Mike and Sam's grip and Finn stopped laughing, looking at me.<p>

"Stop." He held out his hand to Azimio and Karofsky and they let go of Kurt, letting him clatter to the floor in a heap. The sight of him made me want to kill myself, bile filling up my mouth and almost choking me.

"Tell it to him." Finn had spoken again, looking me straight in the eye and then pointing at Kurt. Oh God. Why was I doing this? Finn had proof – there was no way everyone wouldn't find out. This would only make it worse. But I couldn't admit. I couldn't tell everyone what I was. I just couldn't.

"_Tell him_ or we beat him up again." Kurt was hauled to his feet again, letting out a cry of pain that made every one of my organs twist and stab me. His head lolled around in semi-unconsciousness but then when he saw me his eyes fixed on mine. Those beautiful eyes…

"TELL HIM!"

"There is nothing going on." I mumbled, almost so quietly you couldn't hear. Finn pretended to strain his ears and Kurt's eyes widened.

"I'm sorry – I didn't quite hear that."

"There is nothing going on between me and Kurt. There never has and there never will." Suddenly I saw it. The moment when I betrayed my boyfriend.

* * *

><p>"Well!" Finn seemed to take this confession as a new piece of ammunition, stepping towards me from his position in the centre of the crowd. I wasn't even looking at him anymore, my eyes fixed on Kurt, who was staring at me. The hurt in his eyes – I could see it, taste it. What had I done.<p>

"No! Kurt!" As the boys let go of him my boyfriend staggered off, barely able to move in a straight line. Nobody went after him but when I struggled to break free I was held back, hands suddenly fast around me. No, come back...

"Oh not so fast Blaine." Finn continued, now standing virtually in front of me. The crowd had begun to talk amongst themselves, some looking in the direction Kurt had run and some still watching me. They all looked horrified.

"Now you see you may have denied it and broken your little boyfriend's heart, but I know for a fact that your rumour is true. I have proof. So you know what we do to homos in this school?" Suddenly I felt a hand smack into my gut. I let out a cry of pain and Finn laughed, a horrific laugh that filled my whole ears.

"Fag!"

* * *

><p>Fag.<p>

Fag.

Maybe I deserved this. Maybe I deserved to get the shit kicked out of me just as I'd let it happen to Kurt. All the times I'd let it happen to him, even when we were together. Stood back and watched it happen - too scared of my own reputation to intervene. Where were the people I'd done it for now? Nobody was helping me. They were all just as bad as I had been. Maybe I _did_ deserve to die.

The hits to the face hurt like hell but for a while I let them happen, subjecting myself to the torture I had let happen to the only person I'd ever loved. Then suddenly I stopped. I had to make this right, If I died now I would die with Kurt hating me. He couldn't hate me. He had to know I loved him.

* * *

><p>"GET! OFF!" Letting my foot fly out I kicked Finn in the balls – he immediately doubled up in pain which gave me the free space to turn round and smack Sam, then using my other foot to kick Mike out of the way. A few other guys tried to grab hold of me but I shoved them away and bared my teeth, treading purposefully on Finn's hand as I sprinted away out of the door and into the parking lot.<p>

* * *

><p><em>Kurt.<em>

Where the fuck was Kurt?

Out of all the times I wanted to find him now, this was by far the worst. My eyes scanned the lot frantically, knowing I didn't have much time before people followed me. Where would he go? To his car? I began to run over to the area I knew he parked, the area I had stared at so much hoping to catch a glimpse of his eyes, his smile. When I was halfway there I saw a figure staggering down a path and rushed over.

"KURT!" He looked up but then tried to move faster, hobbling and scrunching up his face in pain. I ran over and immediately reached out my hands to steady him.

"Kurt oh my God Kurt are you ok?" As I gripped onto his shoulder another one flicked out and slapped me away.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" The words stabbed into my heart, almost making me cringe in pain.

"No! Kurt I'm sorry! I had to say those things! I had-"

"What? That _nothing_ went on between us? That NOTHING happened at ALL! You didn't have to say that! You just wanted to!"

"Kurt-"

"-They were beating me up! They were punching me and you STILL couldn't tell them you were gay! WHY?" Shit. I didn't know. _Why_ had I done that?

"Kurt I'm sorry I shouldn't have done it but-"

"-But you _did_ Blaine! You _did_! All the _shit_ I put up with for you Blaine – all the SHIT! _Over_ and _over_ again relentless shit ALL for you! And then you go and throw it back in my face!" He was crying now, streams of tears spilling down his face and plopping onto the black tarmac of the parking lot. I wanted so desperately to wipe them away, but knew I couldn't.

"Do you think it was _easy_ being with you? Do you think I _enjoyed_ having you scream at me - call me a brainwasher, a fag, a selfish little boy? I knew you needed me so I let you do it, but then, even when we were finally together - you never told anyone. I wasn't _special_ enough for anyone to know about, not compared to your stupid girlfriend and your stupid friends - who by the way still abused me _every fucking day_! All I wanted was you Blaine. Just you. I could have coped with us being secret for the rest of our lives just so I could have the moments we shared. But now I know you were just using me." I could barely breathe. The realisation of what I had done - what was about to happen and what I would lose was crushing me, preventing my lungs from working.

"Kurt I'm sorry, I'm so so goddamn sorry!"

"It's too late! You can't take it back now. You ended this."

"I love you!"

"No you don't! _I _love _you_. I love you so much it hurts. I would do anything for you. But you don't love me. If you did you would have stood up there and told everyone you did. You _lied_ to me."

* * *

><p>The words hit me like a bullet. Lied.<p>

_Had_ I lied to Kurt? Did I really love him? He was right – if I loved him that much it shouldn't have mattered what other people thought – I should have just said it. But I hadn't.

"You care more about your stupid idiotic _pride_ than you ever will do about me. I never want to see you again." Suddenly he began to move away – I cried out and tried to stop him but my hand was smacked away again, the most violent movement I had ever seen Kurt do.

"Please don't do this." I begged, almost on my knees. "_Please_."

"If you even think about following me I will hate you forever." My hands fell to my sides. Kurt seemed slightly surprised that I'd stopped fighting, that I wasn't trying to chase after him. Then his expression hardened again.

"Goodbye Blaine." He turned away, hobbling off to his car and I watched him go, right until the automobile sped off round the corner and into the distance.


	14. The Choice

_Wow. Those were some pretty hardcore reviews. Once again this has now broken the record for my most successful chapter and story. Awesome._

_Right - everyone seems to be asking the same questions and I've replied to those of you that let replies happen, but I'm just gonna clarify it here again. Yes, it seems like Finn kind of did a 180. But Finn hates Blaine. HATES him. So basically he will do everything he can to make him look bad. At the start of the story Blaine hated Kurt, so Finn used him as ammunition to make Blaine look bad - supporting Kurt was the opposite of what Blaine was doing. Now at this point Blaine loves Kurt - so Finn takes the opposite stance. Basically Finn is so blinded by his hate that he doesn't really consider Kurt as his brother, he just wants Blaine to suffer so does anything possible, even hurting his own sibling. He would do it with any person, Kurt just happens to be the collateral damage._

_It might be a little hard to understand but that's how I view it. I love Finn in Glee and it's nothing personal against him - obviously this is nothing like canon, just like Blaine isn't a straight asshole! I'm sorry if it messed up the story for you but it makes sense in my head :)_

_Anyways, here is the next chapter - thanks to those of you still here! Lol_

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 14 - The Choice<strong>

I couldn't breathe.

Unable to hold up my weight I felt myself sink to the floor, sitting down on the curb and putting my face in my hands. Suddenly my whole body was shaking with sobs, sobs that turned into strangled cries and tears that streamed down my face, blurring my vision and almost drowning me.

No.

How had this happened.

This morning I'd had an amazing caring boyfriend that loved me – I'd still been popular and Quinn wasn't hanging around me anymore. Now I had nothing.

* * *

><p>Wait – why was I even still <em>thinking<em> about anyone else? _They_ had been what had ruined this. My _stupid _friends with their _stupid_ opinions, that for some reason I valued and had put above the most important thing of all. They weren't even my friends anymore! As soon as they heard of the truth I was nobody. _Why had it mattered_?

Then I realised. It hadn't been them that had ruined this. It had been me. Nobody had told me to hide myself. _I_ had said it. Convinced my brain that this was the 'normal' thing to do, the thing that would keep me where I wanted to be. But I didn't want to be top of the school anymore. I didn't want to have people adoring me. I just wanted Kurt.

I looked back up at the parking lot, having to blink a couple of times to get rid of the tears. There were barely any cars there now, everyone having left since the school bell had rung and the scandal in their eyes was over. The spot where Kurt's car had been seemed more empty than ever. Maybe he would never come back. He'd said he never wanted to see me again – was that enough for him to re-transfer?

Suddenly I stood up, brushing off my jeans and wincing at the unexpected pain that shot through my body over the movement. I didn't care that Kurt didn't want to see me. I needed to see him. I needed to explain.

* * *

><p>It took a lot longer to drive to the Hummel-Hudson house than normal – I was actually pretty injured but also had to stop lots to avoid having a breakdown in the middle of the road. My whole mind felt like a landmine ready to go off at any time if I stepped in the wrong place. When I pulled up outside I had to sit there for a while thinking about how to proceed. My brain was desperate to just run in, already suffering from the loss of my ex boyfriend badly, but I knew that wouldn't help. I was probably only going to get one chance at this and I had to make it count.<p>

* * *

><p>When I'd eventually sorted things out I inched out of the car, half running to the door and knocking loudly, praying he was here and not throwing himself off a cliff somewhere. There was a sound of shuffling, muffled talking and then the door half opened.<p>

"Oh, Blaine."

"Mr Hummel! Is Kurt here?" Kurt's Dad looked at me with sad eyes. I'd seen them widen upon his first glance of me, obviously seeing my equally battered state. I could also tell he was very confused.

"Kurt is…" He seemed unsure of what to say. I noticed his whole body was blocking the door so I couldn't get past. "...He doesn't want to see you."

"Mr Hummel, _please_. I know he's angry but I just need to explain, I just need…" Suddenly I broke down again, another wave of emotion sweeping over me so I completely lost my balance. Mr Hummel lunged out to grab me and then pulled me to my feet, his shirt getting wet from my tears.

"Blaine calm down. Breathe." I tried to regulate my breathing, taking in huge gulps of air that made my head spin, and when I was finally able to step away on my own he opened the door further.

"Come inside."

* * *

><p>I practically jumped in, expecting to be lead to Kurt and grateful for it. I went to head for the stairs but Mr Hummel grabbed hold of my shoulders, steering me towards the kitchen. When we were inside he sat me down at the table and then went to sit opposite, leaning in like we were about to debate.<p>

"You need to go to the doctor," he said, taking me by surprise, "about all this." As he pointed to my face I felt my eyebrows furrow. How could I be thinking about _my_ wellbeing when I had just destroyed someone else's?

"Who did this to you?"

"Where is Kurt?" I ignored the question and Mr Hummel grimaced.

"Kurt is upstairs, in his room. He went straight in there and hasn't moved. The door is locked." Oh God. I put my head in my hands again and felt another wave of emotion sweep over, but then a hand on my shoulder helped to push it back.

"Mr Hummel I am _so, so SO _sorry-"

"-I know. I know you are." I looked up, surprised at his response. I'd expected him to be the least understanding out of the two – figuring he'd only ever let me stick around because of his son.

"You look like you're about to pass out. I know how that feels. But you screwed up bro. You screwed up big time."

"I know." A look passed between us, a look of understanding.

"What happened?" I winced, not even wanting to go through the pain of reliving the experience.

"Someone found out about us. _Finn_ found out." At the mention of his step son Mr Hummel's expression darkened, his whole body shifting slightly further forward. "He threatened me, said he would tell the whole school and ruin me. And then he did. When they asked me I…" I couldn't bear to say it. "…I denied it. I denied being with Kurt." Now this was it. This was the point where Mr Hummel's back would turn and I would be left alone. I was scared to look up, scared to see the hatred in his eyes. When I did he looked troubled.

"You denied everything?"

"Yeah. They beat him up, to get me to confess-"

"Wait _WHAT_?" Kurt's Dad suddenly sat bolt upright. Oh shit. He obviously hadn't got a look at his son when he'd run upstairs. "_WHO _beat him up?"

"Karofsky and Azimio. Well they did it, Finn told them to."

"FINN?" He looked livid. I suddenly felt scared, moving backwards slightly, and saw him clench his fists, his face turning red. "That son-of-a-bitch! When he comes home I'll..." Suddenly he jumped up, storming out of the room. I wasn't sure what to do so just stayed where I was and then heard the sounds of shouts coming from the other room. Carole sounded like she was trying to calm her husband down. I didn't blame him. I wanted Finn dead probably just as much as he did. But somehow I knew that wasn't the option - if we responded with violence then we were just as bad as him.

"I'M CALLING THE POLICE!" Mr Hummel burst back into the room, shaking with anger and grabbing hold of the telephone, dialling 911. Carole ran in behind him looked concerned.

"Burt, please, just think about this for a second!"

"YOUR son just tried to beat up mine!" Suddenly he seemed to remember I was in the room, his eyes flashing to me. "Get out."

"Wait, what? No! I need to see Kurt!"

"You are not going anywhere NEAR him. It was YOU that caused this!" My body began to shake again, but this time Kurt's dad didn't offer any support. He began to move towards me to drag me out, my mind totally prepared for a fight, but suddenly a body stepped between us.

"STOP!" Both of us froze, the dial tone on the phone still sounding.

"Stop this now! Burt - go and check on Kurt, see if he needs to go to the hospital. I'll deal with Blaine." Mr Hummel glared at me - eyes filled with anger and fierce protection for his son. Once again I felt a flash of longing for my Dad, but then he stalked away upstairs and Carole came to sit down opposite me.

* * *

><p>"Finn <em>really<em> got those people to beat up Kurt?" She asked after a while.

"Yeah. I don't know what's happened to him. He looked crazy. But I stood there and let it happen…" Carole sighed, running her fingers through her hair. "Then when I wouldn't they let Kurt go and beat me up instead." I was desperately trying to reign in my emotions, to not looking like a quivering miserable wreck. But then again, what did it matter how I looked to anyone anymore.

"He said he doesn't want to see me ever again. I can't not. I _need_ him." Finally Kurt's mum seemed to respond, leaning forward and putting her hand near mine on the table.

"If Kurt says he doesn't want to see you then you can't see him." Immediately I went to protest but she held up a hand to silence me. "_Now_. That may change but for now it's his decision and you are _not_ to disobey that. Kurt loves you. I know that. I can see it – in the way he talks about you, how he looks at you when you're here. He hasn't looked at anyone like that. And I'm pretty sure that he hasn't, been _intimate_ with anyone else before." I paused. _Wait_. Was Carole saying her son was a _virgin_? Or rather, _had _been. Had I taken his virginity?

"If what you have said is true and you said those things – you broke his heart. That's not something that can be easily repaired." My head sunk, looking down at the table. Carole stopped speaking for a second and I was given time to think.

"Do you love him?" My eyes flashed up.

"Yes." Of course.

"Do you _really_?" What? Why was she questioning this? "I saw you before this all started. With Finn, on the football pitch. You were at the top. I know you've changed – I've seen it – but have you changed _completely_? Could you give _everything_ up for him?" I fell silent. This is what I had been debating myself. _Could I destroy my past life for Kurt_? I suppose it had already been destroyed. But if there was a chance I could get it back, if leaving Kurt meant I could go back to how it had been – would I take it?

"If you can one hundred percent tell me that you love Kurt and would do anything for him, then Burt and I will do everything we can to help you. But if you can't, then it's not just him you will be hurting, it will be Burt too. If there is one thing, _one thing_ that would make you waver even a millimetre, then you need to leave him. For his own sake." I leant back in my chair, staring up at the ceiling and then closing my eyes. What was I going to do?

* * *

><p>I thought about every moment I had ever spent with Kurt. Replayed them over in my head – the good ones, the bad ones, the horrific ones. I thought about how they had made me feel, what I had done about them, which ones meant more than the others. Then I did the same with everything else in my life. Ten minutes later I opened my eyes.<p>

"Blaine?" Carole looked at me with questioning eyes, ready to hear my answer.

"Thank you. And goodbye."

* * *

><p>I'd done it. I'd stepped away.<p>

This was probably the best thing I'd done in a while, the most selfless. It didn't feel like it.

I felt like half of me had been ripped away, a gaping whole that not only ached but let everything happy seep out, displaying me to all the harsh and cruel things in the world, so they could come in and torture me. The thought that this feeling was one that wouldn't go away was almost too much to bear, but I had to push it away, gritting my teeth and driving away from 22nd street.

My destination was unknown. I couldn't go home – not like this. I knew I should probably follow Mr Hummel's advice and get myself checked out, but then that would require more explaining and I really couldn't be dealing with going through that again. Maybe this was where my life in Lima ended. School would pretty much be hell for me from now on – the only thing that would have helped me get through it gone – and I wouldn't be able to go anywhere without seeing some reminder. Maybe I could go to this Dalton place – apparently they were accepting of people like me. God. I could admit it to myself. _I was gay_. Why couldn't I say it to anyone else?

Suddenly I was angry. _Livid_. This was all my fault. Every last thing. If I were normal then none of this would have happened. And I didn't mean normal as in straight. Being gay was normal now. I meant normal as in able to make decisions. Making decisions and then being proud of them – to be able to do what I wanted without giving a shit about anybody else. I had been the only thing in my way, and now I had nothing. I _was_ nothing.

Slamming my foot on the accelerator I sped off towards my house, knowing what I had to do.

* * *

><p>When I fought with the lock on the door I was happy I would be doing it for the last time. Finally it opened and I practically ran inside, hoping I would be able to get this done as quickly and as hassle free as possible. Unfortunately that wasn't the case.<p>

"Blaine!" Simone came into the hallway, calling my name. Why did this always happen. Why, for once in my motherfucking life could something not go right – just one tiny little thing?

"BLAINE!" I saw her eyes widen at my injuries – something I had almost forgotten about. Immediately she stepped forward but I moved back, towards the door and then swerved round to dodge her.

"Oh my God _Blaine what happened_?"

"Leave it." I replied, trying to make my tone as clear as possible. My foot hit the first stair but Simone grabbed hold of my shoulder, making me wince in pain so she screamed out again.

"JAMES! JAMES! COME HERE NOW!" Oh no. Leave my Dad out of this, please. I tried to move again but suddenly Dad appeared, his expression taking on the same shocked look.

"Blaine oh my God what the hell happened? Did someone beat you up?"

"JUST LEAVE IT OK?" My response was loud and unexpected – both adults took a step back and Simone's hand left my shoulder. "You don't need to know. All you need to know is that I'm leaving."

"_Leaving? What?"_

"Yeah I'm going. And I'm never coming back so don't try to stop me." I took the opportunity to run up the stairs, knowing no doubt that footsteps would follow me seconds later. I managed to make it to my room but saw Dean standing in the doorway, obviously having heard the commotion.

"MOVE!" I shouted, not even giving him a chance to speak. "MOVE _NOW_!" He seemed scared but tried to stand his ground, something the small part of me that wasn't heading to self-destruct admired. I responded however by shoving him out of the way, into the hallway and then slamming the door shut behind me.

* * *

><p>As I looked around my room my brain immediately began formulating a plan. I went in my closet to find my gym bag and tipped everything out, then getting out my clothes and shoving them inside. I looked at everything, assessing whether it would be needed and then discarding or adding it accordingly. About twenty seconds after I had started I heard the sound of Dad and Simone reaching my door – amazingly Dean was there to guard me.<p>

"Dean baby let us in – Blaine isn't stable right now."

"No. Let me talk to him, I think I know what's wrong."

"This isn't the time for brotherly comradeship"

"No, seriously. I think I can help. If you go in there you'll just scare him away." I had to admire how much he understood the situation, understood _me_. If I wanted to talk to anyone at all it probably would have been him. To my delight Dad and Simone seemed to back off, taking their sons advice and I had a little more time to pack. Toothbrush, comb, my hat… Suddenly I lifted something up in my bedside table drawer and saw a little bowtie staring back at me. One time round Kurt's house I'd been noseying around and had seen this – it had captured my attention and unable to stop myself I'd taken it, keeping it in here to look at. The pattern was so _Kurt_ – bold colours but an understated pattern, calm and collected. And it smelt of him. Letting out a cry of anguish I threw the bowtie as far away as possible, picking up my packing speed and feeling tears build in my eyes again. I had no idea where I actually planned to go once I left the house, but I knew I had enough money to last me at least a few weeks, and by then I probably would have found a job in some tiny little far away town.

* * *

><p>Once I was finally satisfied I had everything packed I threw my bag on my shoulder, wincing again at the pain. Maybe I would go to the doctors before I left – one last thing to honour my life in Lima. Kurt would have wanted that. He would have wanted me to be ok.<p>

As I walked briskly towards the door I was ready to face the onslaught that was no doubt waiting for me, having prepared itself all the time I'd been busy. I wrenched it open and stepped forward.

* * *

><p>Dean was sitting down on the floor. The sight of him made me jump and I almost tripped over him. As soon as he realised I was there he immediately jumped to his feet.<p>

"Blaine!" I tried to get past but he held out his hands, actually pushing me back into the room. "Blaine please we need to talk."

"We don't need to talk about anything. I'm leaving and you're not going to stop me."

"But why are you leaving? What happened?"

"It's none of your business! Just let me go before I-"

"-Did somebody find out?"

I froze. Dean saw my reaction and immediately understood.

"Somebody found out didn't they?"

"OF COURSE THEY DID!" I shouted back, suddenly extremely angry. "_EVERYBODY_ FOUND OUT! THEY KNOW!" The realisation hit me again – that everyone I had ever known, been friends with, talked to in the corridor – they all knew I was gay and they all hated me for it. They thought I was abnormal. Dean reached out a hand to grab mine, concern etched all over his expression, but I smacked it away.

"Blaine, it's ok, you don't have to leave."

"YES I DO! THERE IS _NOTHING _FOR ME HERE NOW!"

"_I'm_ still here."

"That's because you're a CHILD! You're a CHILD and you have a mum who actually CARES about you – who doesn't CARE who you are! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME!"

"I care about you." I ignored the statement, unable to believe it was true. Who could ever love me. I was the worst person in the world – I took good people and made them hate themselves. I had done it to myself.

"You don't have to do this Blaine. You can stay and we can work through this together, as a family." There was that word._ Family_. Something I hadn't had in years. Something I had begun to have with Kurt. And Kurt was gone.

"I'm leaving." I went to step forward but amazingly Dean blocked my way, placing both hands on either side of the doorframe.

"_No_."

"_Let me go Dean_."

"NO. I'm not letting you until we talk about this."

"Move _right now_."

"No." There was a new look in his eyes – one of steely determination.

"If you don't let me go _now_ I will punch you in the face."

"Ok. _Do it_." My fists had balled up, mainly as a threat, but the words pushed me over the edge. So I did.


	15. The End

****_This is it guys. The final chapter._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 15 - The End<strong>

"AAAAAH!" The shout jolted me back into full consciousness. For a second I couldn't work out where it had come from, but then I looked down and realised what I had done. Dean was on the floor, clutching his nose as blood spurted out, staining the cream carpet. I felt my bag drop to the floor, my mouth forming into a perfect little o, and then heard the sound of approaching footsteps.

"OH MY GOD!" Simone dropped to the floor, clutching hold of her son and suddenly I felt hands grip hold of my collar.

"What have you done?" My back slammed against the doorframe so I cried out in pain. Dad's expression was livid, scary even. He was just like me.

"Dad I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Suddenly I was terrified – terrified of my Dad, of myself, of how self-destructive our family was. My father's eyes were still black with anger and his teeth were gritted together, grinding loudly.

"JAMES!" Another shout rang out and just like that he changed. He seemed to realise what he was doing and immediately dropped me. I looked at the source of the voice and Simone was standing back up, pulling her boyfriend away.

"Take Dean to the hospital. NOW." I saw Dad turn to look back at me, his expression filled with regret and sadness, but he didn't argue, bending down to pick up my brother and carry him away. As they left I crouched down to pick my bag back up but Simone stamped on it defiantly.

"_Oh no_. You are _not_ going _anywhere_." My eyes met with hers and I saw an expression in them that I'd never seen before. "You are you going to tell me why you just punched my son and you are going to tell me NOW."

* * *

><p>As I sat down on my bed I wondered how my life had got to this point. How I had managed to go from everything to nothing in the space of a few months. I couldn't decide if it had all been for the best or not – I was a better person but in a completely shit world.<p>

Simone still looked angry as she sat down next to me, but it was a different kind of anger, not the violent type my Dad and I displayed. She seemed more upset about the injury her son has sustained than me. There was a silence as we both decided how to start, me looking over at my discarded gym bag – the ticket that I thought would have taken me out of here by now.

"What happened?" Oh God. Where to start.

"It's complicated." Simone stared at me, like she wasn't satisfied.

"_Tell me_. I want to know." If you only knew. Knew the pain I had gone through, put other people through. The pain I had created was probably massively disproportional to the pain I had received.

"Is it something between you and Dean? Do you not like him?"

"No." My response was instant and clear. "Of course I like him. He's my brother." It was time to start acknowledging the people in my life that cared, the few people I still had left.

"Then what on earth happened? What happened that would make you do something like that? To make you look like this?" She pointed to my face and I let my eyes close, preparing myself for what was about to happen. Sitting in front of my stepmother – the woman that a few months ago I plotted to get rid of so many times – the person I despised most in the world.

I told her everything.

* * *

><p>I started from the beginning. The party – seeing Kurt, knowing there was something different about him. Spin the bottle, being in the cupboard, our first kiss. I described how I had felt – the self-hatred, the confusion, the desire. How I had tried to push it away, even tortured myself because of it, but how Kurt had stood by me and helped me get through it. As I talked about my growing feelings for him I began to feel myself tear up, reliving the realisation and knowing it was now too late – I had gone through it all for nothing. We got to our first time and I debated whether to skip over, but figured it would add more context to the story. Simone's eyes widened but she didn't seem repulsed. I talked about how I had felt after – like I was complete for the first time. I loved Kurt and I still did. The discovery was the hardest part to retell, maybe because it was the most recent but also because it was the end, not just of the saga but of me and Kurt completely. I described the look on his face as I had betrayed him – something I would never ever be able to forget. When I finally finished with the conversation between me and Dean every single trace of anger in Simone's eyes had gone, replaced instead with deep sincere sympathy.<p>

"Oh Blaine." I looked up and realised she was crying. Suddenly the tears I'd been expelling seemed to multiply and I was sobbing – arms reached out to wrap around me and I held on tight, burying my head in her shoulder and letting everything out. I wasn't sure how long we stayed like that but it helped, almost therapeuticly.

* * *

><p>When we finally pulled apart I felt exhausted, like I had just run a marathon, not told a story. Simone got a tissue out of her pocket and dabbed at her eyes, something that made me laugh. I didn't even want to think about what I looked like now but I certainly didn't care.<p>

"Why didn't you tell me about this Blaine?" I shook my head.

"I couldn't. I could barely cope with it myself."

"But Dean knew?"

"He found out. When you found that porn…" Suddenly the realisation clicked in Simone's brain.

"That was _you_?"

"Yeah. Dean did a lot for me. More than I ever thanked him for." A hand gripped hold of mine and I squeezed back tightly.

"And this Finn boy? He was the one that told everyone?"

"Yeah. He hates my guts. I probably deserved it."

"No. Nobody deserves that. Especially not you." I looked up, suddenly extremely confused. Here was this woman, who had never received much kindness from me, who had watched me punch her son in the face and then talk about having sex with guys with her.

"Why are you doing this?" She looked puzzled.

"Doing what?"

"Helping me. Why do you care? I'm a horrible person."

"But that's just it. You sitting here, telling me all of this. _That's_ not horrible. I have seen you change Blaine. Your father noticed it but I saw it grow. You are not the same person you were a few months ago. You are better." I sighed, running my free hand through my hair and Simone still gripped onto the other. "Have you spoken to Kurt since?"

"I went to his house but he wouldn't see me. And then his Dad freaked out about Finn." I didn't even want to think about what was going on in the Hummel-Hudson household right now, but I was glad I wasn't there. Or maybe I wasn't glad – at least I would be with Kurt.

"His Mum said if I can't devote my whole self to him then I should leave him forever, for his own sake."

"And do you think you can do that?" I sighed, looking down at my feet

"I don't know." Simone was silent. When I glanced back up she seemed confused, like she didn't understand. "Who I was before – that was my _life_. I _lived_ for being popular. This being gay thing – that ruins that."

"But what about Kurt? How do you feel about him?" I stared her straight in the eye.

"_I love him_. I love him more than anything I've ever experienced in the world. When I was with him it was like nothing else existed – that nothing mattered. He was everything."

"Well then you know." My eyebrows furrowed slightly, the response confusing compared to what I had just revealed.

"Know what?"

"I've felt like that. I still feel like that about one person. Your Dad. If you've found _that_ person you can't give it up. There won't _be_ anyone else like him. You may have made mistakes but if you really love each other you can get through that. You have to go with your heart."

* * *

><p>That was it. That was what I'd been trying to tell myself for days but had never had the courage to. Who<em> cared<em> what everybody thought. My head was stupid – it told me things I didn't need to know. If I was making a decision I had to go with the one thing I knew wouldn't be swayed. The thing that was totally and utterly devoted to Kurt. My heart.

Simone seemed to have noticed my realisation, her eyes looked happy and her hand gripped mine tighter than ever. My mind began to process the thoughts.

"But I told Carole…I was leaving…"

"Maybe you should give it time, see Kurt at school and see if anything changes. But then, if you know, you have to go for it." My mind was buzzing, like someone had found the old power source and connected it back up again.

"What about Dad? Will he…?"

"James will be fine. We'll tell him and we'll do it together. I support you." For the first time in a long while I felt something I had never felt before – from the adult sitting right in front of me. Love.

"Thanks mum." Simone's eyes widened – I heard her breath catch as I leant in to give her another hug but didn't say anything, wrapping my arms round her and holding my mother close.

* * *

><p>School.<p>

School was bad.

I'd been expecting it to be, but not this bad.

Word had obviously got round that the rumours were true. That resident top dog sex slut of McKinley Blaine Anderson now no longer played on the straight team. As soon as I got out of my car people were looking at me – with Simone's words in my brain as ammunition I ignored them and strode forward towards the building. Unfortunately I was then met with a line of jocks blocking the entrance.

"Where do you think you're going?" A harsh voice rang out that I immediately recognised. Finn was at the head, already the new leader. He seemed about 2 feet taller and had the same victorious grin on his face as yesterday.

"I'm trying to get to school." I replied, not wanting to start a fight. Finn laughed.

"But Blaine – this is the _straight_ entrance to school. No fags allowed." What? As the look of confusion obviously spread across my face the other jocks sneered at me and Finn's expression darkened.

"_Beat it homo_."

"But…how-?" Suddenly hands were shoved into my chest – I stumbled backwards and fell into some trashcans, prompting even more laughter and jeers. Oh my God. This guy had sold out his own _brother_ to do this. To torture me.

"Also, thanks for getting me kicked out of my house you shitface!" Apparently Mr Hummel had called the police and tried to get Finn charged with assault, but seeing as he hadn't actually been the one to touch Kurt he'd got off scott free. Karofsky and Azimio had been suspended but it still didn't take away what had happened.

"Yeah well you deserved it" Trying not to show the hurt coursing through me I muttered under my breath and picked myself up, walking away to find the back entrance that hopefully wouldn't be guarded.

* * *

><p>It got worse. Everyone was staring at me wherever I walked. Most of them didn't say anything but I could tell what they were thinking. 'How disgusting'. All the enemies I had ever made came back to haunt me with a vengeance – as I got my books out of my locker I suddenly felt something shove into my back and slammed my stomach against the edge of the metal, crying out in pain but receiving only laughter back.<p>

"Did that hurt Anderson?"

"Oh wait, better not hit him from behind – he likes that now." I didn't even turn round to see my attackers but I could tell from their voices – two more boys from the football team that I'd always walked over. Oh God. Was this how it had been for Kurt _every day?_ Granted, he probably didn't have the legacy I had, but even so. I'd _spread_ rumours about him. _Made_ the school hate him. My torture was self-created. Kurt's had been from the person he'd loved.

* * *

><p>I was about to close my locker and begin the no doubt horrific walk to class, when suddenly I felt the presence of someone next to me.<p>

"If you want to hit me just get on with it." I said, already tired. The person didn't reply and I looked over to see Sugar lounging against the lockers, staring seductively at me.

"What do you want?" I asked, surprisingly nicer than I normally addressed her. I suppose the fact she even wanted to stand near me was something I should be thankful for – even if she was annoying.

"_Blaine_." Sugar began, shifting in a little closer. I saw her eyes dart to the cuts and bruises on my face and horror pass through them, but obviously not knowing how to react to them she just ignored it. "Is this _gay_ thing really true?" I sighed.

"Yes." There was no point denying it now. I didn't want to.

"_Really?_" I slammed my locker shut and went to leave but Sugar grabbed hold of my arm, making me turn back round. "How do you know?" Because I'm in love with Kurt you dumbass. The one person that I betrayed.

"I just do." Sugar seemed disappointed – for a second she looked at me to see if I was joking but when my expression didn't waver she continued.

"Well that's a shame. It will be sad not to see you at parties." Hmm, I hadn't thought about that. Now I had no friends I guess my social calendar would be diminished significantly. "You know I could remind you of what being straight is all about…" Suddenly I felt the hand on my arm slip down to my fingers – Sugar bit her lip suggestively and I realised what she meant. _Oh hell no_.

"Sugar what the hell." As I pulled my hand back she seemed annoyed, her lips pursing into a pout.

"Oh _come on_ Blaine! You're too hot to be gay!"

"How you look has nothing to do with it! And this isn't just something I can turn off! It's who I am now!"

"Jeez! I was just trying to save you. Nobody wants to even look at you now."

"Well you know what – I don't care." I pulled my bag up on my shoulder and looked at her, pity and disgust framing my face. She just wanted to be the new Queen. How on earth she would think I wanted to go back to that I had no idea.

"If you want to go whore yourself out – fine. But don't even think about coming to me because I am not a part of that anymore." As I walked off I heard Sugar stamp her foot, having a little tantrum in the middle of the corridor.

"YOU'LL REGRET THIS!" She screamed. "THEY'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE HELL!"

"I know Sugar," I muttered under my breath and I turned the corner and received yet another look of repulsion, "I know."

* * *

><p>Kurt wasn't at school. He wasn't at school for three days.<p>

I suppose I should have been expecting it – but all the same, it hurt. It hurt even more than any jeer or shove into a locker could. Maybe he had transferred back – I was pretty sure you could do that. What was he thinking right now? Did he hate me? I prayed to God he didn't. He could think anything else about me that he wanted, but not hatred. Then again – if we were to separate forever maybe him hating me was the best way for him to break free.

Finn pretty much made my life hell for those three days – I don't know what had happened but since he'd discovered my secret it was like a switch had flipped inside him – suddenly he was crueller, scarier, less human. It was like my transformation had happened in reverse within his body. I had used to be _that person_. Every friend I had ever had transferred to his new rule, with Puck his second in command and Quinn still the Queen. I was sure it wouldn't be too long before she migrated to the leader but to be honest I literally didn't care. Nothing about that life interested me anymore. My grades faltered from the bullying but I struggled on. Now I didn't have a football scholarship to fall back on or a boyfriend to tutor me I needed every pass I could get.

* * *

><p>I sat at the table staring at my plate of food. It was only half full – some idiot having purposefully crashed into me as I walked away from the servery. The pie had slopped all over the plate and I didn't really feel like eating it now.<p>

I was just about to push my plate away and walk out, already feeling the looks of disgust boring into my back, when suddenly a sandwich was held in front of my face. I looked up and saw a hand attached to it – that hand attached to the body of Rory Flanagan. It was funny – I'd never even given a thought to Rory when I'd been popular. He was just that Irish kid, the annoying Irish kid who had no friends and hung around on our coattails trying to gather up our fame. I don't ever think I'd once spoken to him kindly, treated him as my equal. But here he was, offering me his lunch.

"No thanks." I said, pushing the sandwich away but gently, for once taking care with my response. "You eat it."

"Nah, it's ok." Rory replied. "I've already had the other one, I'm full." I looked at him, trying to figure out if he was acting out of fear. He just looked friendly.

"Thanks." Taking the sandwich I smiled at him gratefully, receiving another smile back. The filling was cheese and pickle or some weird shit like that but it was still food. And it didn't taste too bad.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked after a few mouthfuls. Rory seemed confused by the question. "You have no reason to be nice to me. I'm a dick. And I'm not popular anymore."

"No, you're not a _dick_ anymore. And I don't care about that. I just want to be your friend." Well wow. I almost had to stop eating, so overcome by the statement.

"So you don't care that I'm gay?"

"Why should I? You're still the same person. You deserve friends just as much as anybody." And there it was. The truth. It was funny how I felt perturbed that nobody wanted to know me anymore. How many people had I rejected? Teased, made them feel unloved? Rory was the same as me, no he was better, because he realised that nobody deserved to be superior to anybody else. Nobody, gay or straight, had more rights.

"You know what?" I replied. "You're right." Placing my hands on the table I nodded at my own words, finally realising something I should have figured out long ago. "You're damn right." Rory seemed unsure about how to respond, just looking at me. It still felt like he was waiting for me to give him orders. "Do you have a lab partner for chemistry?" My question was met with a confused look.

"No…"

"Do you need one?" Suddenly he realised. A huge grin spread across the Irish boy's face, stretching right from ear to ear.

"Yeah. That would be grand."

"Ok. Sweet." I was just about to say something else, cement my friendship with Rory even further, when suddenly the whole cafeteria went quiet.

I wondered what was happening but then glanced over to the sight of everyone's gaze and froze.

* * *

><p>Kurt.<p>

* * *

><p>Instantly a ripple of faces turned round to stare at me. Everyone was looking - they all wanted to know my reaction. Sensing the disturbance Kurt turned his eyes towards me, obviously wondering what everyone was looking at and not realising it was his ex boyfriend. His face was still bruised, ugly purple marks deforming his beautiful porcelain skin and I felt a stab of self-hatred shoot through my gut at the sight of it, almost making me retch. As soon as our eyes met the hatred immediately turned to a thrill – a coursing thrill that made me want to stand up, almost drawn to my feet by his beauty. Then Kurt turned his eyes away in sadness, and the despair was back. I sunk down into my seat as everyone else stared and he made his way over to another empty table. Nobody was saying anything, so the silence stretched out like a huge blanket, smothering me. Oh God. He still hated my guts. But he was here. He hadn't transferred. That had to mean something.<p>

"Blaine?" Suddenly I heard a voice – looking up to see Rory staring at me worriedly I realised I was shaking, my whole body convulsing in empty sobs that made me seem crazy. Why had I done this to myself. If I had just been honest and gone with my heart Kurt would probably be sitting at this table with us now. I still had Rory – he had nobody.

My head turned round to look at him again. He was right across the other side of the cafeteria, back to me and looking down at the table, his fingers rubbing the back of his neck. What was I doing.

"I'll be back in a minute." Abruptly I stood up, my chair making a loud squeaking noise so people sitting round me turned to look. Rory raised his eyebrows but then realised what I was doing and nodded.

"Good luck." I smiled weakly, before turning in the direction I wanted and closing my eyes. This was it Blaine. Time to completely destroy what little bit of reputation you had left.

* * *

><p>Every step felt like a ton of bricks attaching themselves to my feet. As people around me realised what was happening they all turned to look at me again, watching as I made my way across the cafeteria. If Kurt noticed my impending arrival he didn't show it, not moving an inch until I was right up behind his chair. Oh God, I missed him.<p>

"Kurt." I said after clearing my throat. The fear in my voice was palpable, made worse by the fact that everyone was listening. Kurt said nothing.

"Kurt, _please_." I felt the crushing sadness begin to well up in me again, my voice cracking and tears forming in my eyes. Kurt flinched slightly at the sound but still didn't turn round – my hand hovered over his shoulder like I wanted to touch it, but couldn't bring myself to mark his skin any more. Was this it? Was this how he was going to treat me for the rest of our lives? Yes, I deserved it – I deserved worse. But I couldn't live with it. I couldn't live without him.

"Ok guys." Suddenly I turned round, addressing the entire hall so some of them lurched back and tried to seem like they hadn't been staring. "Seeing as you're all listening to this – I'm just gonna say it. _I am gay_." Gasps rang out through the hall, people turning to each other and exchanging looks. I heard a slight movement behind me but didn't turn round, wanting to focus on making right what should have been a long time ago.

"I like guys. To be more specific, I like one guy. The guy that has shown me what it is really like to care, what it is like to be the person you want to be. That person is Kurt Hummel." Suddenly gaining more courage I spied the table in front of me and without warning stepped up onto it. The people sitting there protested but I ignored them, throwing out my arms as wide as I could.

"I love Kurt Hummel ok? I LOVE KURT HUMMEL! And I don't give a _DAMN_ who knows it!"

"Get the fuck off the table Anderson." Someone shouted. I went to see who it was, but then a cup flew out of nowhere, hitting me on the head. Everyone jeered.

"Yeah, get down you fag."

"Nobody wants to hear you talk out your vagina." More things started flying at me, the noise level rising as everyone became more animated. I didn't move. I had to ride this out – if I got down now my point would be nullified.

"You know what? I don't give a shit! I don't give a shit about _any_ of you!" My voice was struggling to be heard over the hubbub of everyone but I kept on going. "Being gay is _nothing_ to be ashamed of. It doesn't make me different from any of you and it doesn't make you any better. It doesn't make _anyone _better." I looked at the table Puck was sitting on – the table I had once been leader of but was now at the head of my abuse. They were joining in with the attack on me but I could see in his eyes the hidden fear. "_You_. You think being there on that table is the best goddamn thing in the world. _I know_, I did. But it's not. That life of constantly looking for approval, constantly _fucking_? It's not right. You think what you have is love?" I gestured between the two of them – him and Quinn, who had suddenly also stopped looking so happy. "It's not. You will never experience love like_ that_. _I _know what love feels like. And _you_." Finally I turned to look at Finn – the new king of the school. "I'm actually glad you did this to me. Because now I know I never want to go back to how I was. I never want to become you." The hall was silent again, everyone waiting for how my nemesis would react. Suddenly Finn stood up, his body bristling for a fight.

"Shut the fuck up you little fucking prick."

"No! I won't! For once in my life I am going to do the right thing and I'm _not_ gonna shut up!"

"I swear I will knock you out…" A hand grabbed hold of my foot, trying to yank me off the table, but I kicked it away.

"No! I don't care! I will fight any of you little fuckers! You can beat the shit out of me but it still won't make it any less true!" I could feel the anger inside me, my body lashing out as the hands reached forward to pull me, drag me down under. Then suddenly a voice rang out.

"Blaine."

* * *

><p>Instantly I froze. My body whipped round and I saw him standing there. Looking at me.<p>

Kurt.

For a second I was unable to do anything – my whole body motionless as I fixed my gaze upon those beautiful eyes. Then I glanced down and realised he had a hold of my hand. My feet jumped off the table in a flash.

"Blaine calm down." Oh my God he was holding my hand. I stepped in closer, staring in wonder and then bringing up my other hand to encase ours together, holding on like it was the most precious artefact I had ever seen.

"Kurt…I…"

"_Calm down_…" I tried to regulate my breathing, my whole body so pumped up with adrenaline and the shock of what was just happening that it was hard to slow it down. Kurt didn't say anything else, didn't do anything, just stood. I had no idea what was happening in the rest of the cafeteria right now and if there was about to be a slushie ambush headed our way, but I didn't care.

"Kurt, I'm sorry. I am so, _so_ freakin sorry." My words were still coming out in a jumble – I pulled our hands towards my chest and noticed Kurt lurch forward a little, uneasiness in his eyes.

"You should be." He replied, making panic shoot through me. Oh God. Was he just trying to stop me getting into a fight? Just doing what a _friend_ would do?

"No Kurt, you don't understand – I will _never_ do that to you again. I will stand up and say I love you to everyone in the goddamn world. I will go on _national TV_, I will get up here again-" I moved my foot to begin stepping up on the table again but Kurt tugged me back, our chests bumping together momentarily.

"No, Blaine. You don't have to do that."

"But I want to! I want to be with you Kurt – I want to show the world that I don't care what they think. That my reputation means nothing to me anymore. I just want _you_."

"I want you too." The words barely came out – for a second I wasn't sure if I'd heard them. But Kurt was still staring into my eyes.

"You do?"

"Of course I do. I never stopped wanting you. But you have to understand that this isn't going to be easy. You can't-"

"-I know, I know – it's gonna be hard. But I don't care. You will help me and I will help you and we will get through this _together. I promise._" Kurt was silent. It was like a bubble had encased us – blocking out any other sound. I watched the movement in his eyes, the way his tongue flicked slowly over his lips, the minute creases in his forehead as he thought. Then, suddenly, he raised his free hand and ran a finger just over my eyebrow, feeling a scar that had scabbed over and making me breathe in sharply.

"I love you."

* * *

><p>Suddenly I wondered if this was all a dream. A cruel trick God had played on me whilst I slept through calculus. Maybe now I would wake up and Mrs Homeric would be shouting at me – I would get detention and my life would go back to the continual circle until I shrivelled up and died. I'd spent so much of my life hating myself – for the choices I didn't make and then the ones I did. Was now, finally the time where I made things right?<p>

"I love you too." The words spilt from my mouth and I opened my eyes to realise this was all real – Kurt's hand definitely was on mine and his sweet scent was drifting through my nostrils. I didn't care that our lives would be hell. I didn't care that any second now somebody was going to break our tryst - that they would probably try and continue to break it for as long as they possibly could. Kurt was here, he was with me, he was smiling.

I leant forward and pressed our lips together.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Epilogue <span>**

I was nervous.

The butterflies in my stomach had turned into full on moths, and I could feel my hands shaking. Suddenly something grabbed hold of one and gave it a squeeze.

"You'll be _fine_."

"Do we have to do this? Can't we just go back to your place again?"

"_Hey_." Kurt's eyebrows furrowed and he wagged his finger at me. "Remember what we said. _No backing out_."

"I know, I know." I knew this had to be done – I wanted to do it. I was just scared.

"Come here." Licking his thumb my boyfriend rubbed away something on my forehead, then patted down my hair and ran his fingers through it to get rid of some of the kinks, "You look great."

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you." As he blushed I leant forward to kiss him, still sighing like I did every time when our lips connected. I let my arms slip around his neck and felt him grip hold of my hips, our tongues winding together as we became immersed in each other and revelled in the feeling. I was about to pull us back against the wall when Kurt broke away.

"Come on. No distractions." He brushed down the back of my blazer before reaching out to give the doorknocker three sharp taps.

* * *

><p>Dean answered.<p>

"Hello!" He said cheerily. I smiled at my brother, glad he was here for this too and not just my parents. "How are you?"

"I'm good." I replied, trying to hold off a laugh. "This is Kurt."

"Hi Kurt!" Dean stepped forward but completely ignored my boyfriend's outstretched hand, instead throwing his arms around him in a hug. I was a little shocked, our hands being disconnected by the force so I felt like my life support had been ripped away, but once my brother had finished his assault Kurt stepped back and we re-linked them again.

"It's so nice to finally meet you!"

"You too." Kurt was trying to hold off a laugh too, the sheer charm of the fifteen year old too much to ignore, and he glanced at me briefly to show his approval.

"You make Blaine awful happy." I blushed, feeling pressure on my hand and then Dean moved back inside the house. "Do you want to come in? Mum and Dad are in the living room."

* * *

><p>It was strange stepping into my own house this scared. Recently it had become a place of happiness, so to suddenly feel so different was a little unnerving. I had Kurt beside me to remind me of what it was for though, and that made me feel better. As we both slipped off our shoes he tried to remove his coat whilst still holding onto my hand and I laughed, breaking free so he could complete the task successfully.<p>

"Thanks." I whispered, wanting more than ever to kiss him again.

"Your brother is _adorable_!" Kurt replied.

"I know."

Once we were de-coated and ready for action I took a few more deep breaths, closing my eyes and trying to prepare myself for what was about to happen. Kurt fiddled with my collar again and pressed a soft kiss to the side of my face, making me smile.

"Ready tiger?"

"Yes."

* * *

><p>Dad was sitting on the wing-backed chair in the far end of the room. Simone had drawn up her dining room chair next to him and Dean was perched on the floor, ready to get up and do any jobs if necessary. The sofa was empty and ominous.<p>

"Blaine!" My stepmother's greeting was friendly and she immediately stood up, holding out her arms for a hug, I reciprocated, softly muttering 'thank you' into her ear as we drew away, and then she turned to Kurt.

"And you must be Kurt. Blaine has told us lots about you, we've been very excited to meet the real thing."

"The same goes for you." My boyfriend smiled, obviously a lot more comfortable with the situation than I was. There was no element of embarrassment in this meeting – I was happy to show him off to anyone I could. I was just petrified that someone wouldn't like him and we would be forced to part ways.

"Is that necklace from the Elizabeth Taylor collection?"

"Oh! Yes!" Simone clutched hold of the jewellery around her neck, her expression lighting up with surprise. "How did you know?"

"I've been admiring that piece for quite a while. Shame it doesn't come in male." A giggle escaped from my stepmother's mouth and I realised I would pretty much have no problem with her approval. The real test was still to come.

"James?" Turning round Simone signalled to the figure still sitting in the chair and I held my breath, fear creeping back through me. Dad lifted himself to his feet, slowly walking over and stopping in front of my boyfriend, looking him up and down critically. My heart was pounding and I felt like I was about to pass out.

"So you are Blaine's boyfriend?" He asked. Kurt nodded, still seemingly unphased.

"Yes."

"And you love him?"

"_Dad!_" I protested, breaking out of my freak out to blush and look embarrassed.

"Yes. Very much." Kurt responded without hesitance, the same calm look still on his flawless face.

"And he loves you?"

"Yes. Yes he does." He looked over, squeezing my hand so I smiled back. The fact he confidently knew the depths of my feelings for him was something that made me happy every day. I looked back at my Dad, desperately trying to analyse the expression on his face. He paused for a second, his brow furrowing in concentration as he looked between the two of us. The, finally, he smiled.

"Welcome to the family." A hand was held out and Kurt gratefully shook it – I almost collapsed with relief and Simone clapped her hands together, cheering.

Thank God for that.

* * *

><p>Kurt and I took our positions on the sofa, bodies always touching and hands playing with each other's absentmindedly as we talked. Simone wanted to know everything about Kurt so he did most of the talking – Dean even squidging himself next to us so he could get in on the conversation. As my boyfriend's dream for his own fashion line was explained I found myself catching eyes with my dad. He smiled at me, surreptitiously holding up his thumb and I felt delight course through me. Kurt was accepted – I was accepted and we were accepted. By the people that mattered.<p>

"I guess we're not gonna have any girlfriends round here in the near future then." Dad said once the conversation had finished, causing Simone to give him a shove and Dean to laugh.

"No, definitely not." I replied, glancing at Kurt who gazed adoringly back at me, shaking his head.

"Girlfriends are gross!" Dean said, making everyone chuckle.

"Well, don't forget we still have Simone." I gestured to my stepmother and she smiled, holding her hand to her heart.

"Well, actually – about that…"

* * *

><p><strong>The End<strong>

* * *

><p><em>So that is it. The end of Straight.<em>

_I know I say the same things at the end of every story, but I just want to say again how unbeliveably thankful I am for every one of you. Reader or reviewer, this has been my most popular fic yet, and I feel blessed to be able to keep on saying this._

_I know this story was a little controversial and some people may not have liked some parts of it as much as others - but I feel glad that I was able to write something so realistic, and that affected me as much as it affected you. I hope we all take from this (although I assume all of you already know) the realisation that gay is most certainly not wrong, and never will be._

_So once again, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I hope you re-read this (as I know I will) and yeah. I LOVE YOU!_

_I have new projects on the horizon very soon - and one of them is called You Do Or You Dalton - Senior Year :D_

_Liz xxx_


	16. Extra Chapter: The Moments After

_Hello again!_

_Ok, so this isn't a continuation of the fic. Straight has ended. I just felt like with the ending there wasn't really a reunion between Kurt and Blaine, and I wanted to show that. So I just wrote this extra chapter to fill the space between and give you some final Klaine loving._

_This is the last I will write of this story - I swear :D_

_Liz xxx_

* * *

><p><strong>The Moments After<strong>

Kurt and I jumped into the car. I didn't care that we were missing school. I didn't even care that I was leaving my automobile in the parking lot – fully at risk for vandals and angry high schoolers. I couldn't take my eyes off him.

"Ok…" Kurt said, looking like he was having to calm down. Unable to stop myself I leant over and kissed him, feeling him relent as my lips captured his and pushing him down into the seat, beginning to climb across.

"No, no, stop." Suddenly he broke away and I whined, the sound having a noticeable reaction. "Not here not here."

"Why not here." I looked at him, overcome with love, and went to kiss him again, but this time only just got lip contact.

"Blaine!" The shout made me jerk back, and then Kurt looked upset that he'd scared me. "Please. Let's go home."

"Ok." Sitting back in my seat and trying to calm down Kurt breathed in and out a couple of times, patting down his hair so it was immaculate as always. Oh God. I wanted him so bad. The separation had only made my feelings stronger and now we were back together they had all rushed at once into my brain – filling it up completely so I could barely even think straight anymore.

"Ok." Kurt fumbled for his keys and I laughed, him laughing too. This was ridiculous.

"Please get to your house quick" I mumbled, probably making the situation worse. Kurt finally found the right place for the key and started up the engine, the sound making us both jump. He slammed his foot on the accelerator and the car jerked forward, speeding off as he blushed in embarrassment.

* * *

><p>The car journey was a nightmare. I was torn between staring at Kurt, staring at every part of him and thinking about which bits to kiss first, and craning my neck to look at the road, searching in vain for his house. I figured me ogling would distract him further, his eyes already constantly darting over in my direction and his lip being worried by his teeth, so concentrated on reading every street sign, every house number, until we reached his.<p>

The drive was empty and as we pulled in I knew what this meant. Kurt had barely cut the ignition when I was already flinging the door open, sprinting to the door and waiting for him to follow. I wasn't sure if he locked the car or not, but he was over mighty fast, now fumbling for the key to the door and almost whimpering with anticipation. Standing so close to him was making my mouth water and when the door finally opened I almost fell into him in a rush to get inside.

* * *

><p>We stumbled into the hallway and shut the door behind us – immediately I threw myself on Kurt, unable to contain myself any longer. The keys crashed against the wooden floor and he let out a shout, throwing his arms round me for balance and then responding with his mouth, kissing me fiercely. For a second I was so overcome with love that I actually forgot what to do, my body frozen, but then hands moulded into me and I was brought back to reality. I began to head towards the living room but then Kurt jumped up and hooked his legs round me, pointing with a free hand upstairs. I responded, moving towards the stairs, but it was hard to keep my balance. I crashed into the banister and Kurt laughed, pausing only for a second before going back to kissing me again. Man. This was so hard. People always made it look easy in the movies.<p>

Grabbing hold of the banister with one hand and keeping Kurt in place with the other I stumbled up the stairs, the process taking much longer than I would have liked, and then when we reached Kurt's room I moved straight towards the wall. He thought we were going to the bed but then I slammed us against it and he cried out, dropping his legs to the floor.

"Blaine…why…bed…"

"No," I said in between kisses, "I want…you…undress…" It was much easier for me to undress Kurt standing up, and that's immediately what I began to do, my hands reaching to tug at his shirt and pull it over his head. My boyfriend moaned at the loss of lip contact and then when his shirt was discarded immediately began sucking on my face again. He wasn't making any attempt to remove my shirt – just pawing at my body relentlessly and I let us kiss for half a minute or so before speaking.

"Kurt, take my shirt off." He seemed not to respond, still pulling me in closer, kissing me deeper, and eventually I had to move his hands to do the work for him.

"I love you…just…want to…kiss…"

"Ok, yeah…" I shifted my feet closer to the wall, pressing my whole body flat against Kurt's so he moaned and then stretched out our arms to link our fingers against the plaster. This was everything – this was hot, sexual, loving, caring all rolled into one. I ran my hands down Kurt's arms as we kissed, passing over his armpits and then trickling down to his sides – my boyfriend shivered in pleasure, bringing his own hands down my back in a soft scratching motion and then cupping my ass. Oh sweet Jesus. I wanted to grind against him but didn't, focusing on channelling my sexual desire into my kiss and eventually after what seemed like hours we broke away.

* * *

><p>"God…" I sighed, my breathing heavy but happy. Kurt stared back at me, a dreamy look in his eyes and at that moment he had never been more beautiful.<p>

"I love you." I said again, unable to express how much I truly meant it. "I love you I love you." Leaning in to kiss him again I dragged my teeth across his bottom lip and then when I went to move along his face he stopped me.

"Bed." Ok, yeah I wanted that. Moving swiftly across the room Kurt lay down on the mattress and I climbed on top of him, eager but still moving gently. My legs straddled him on either side and then I lowered my body down, propping myself up with my forearms and stroking his hair with my fingers,

"I love you." We kissed semi roughly again several times, before I went back to travelling across his body. My lips trailed over his cheek, pressing soft kisses until I reached his jaw and then began to make my way down his neck. Kurt arched his back up into me and it was hard not to respond. His skin was smooth, beautifully smooth and when I reached the area around his collarbone I couldn't resist biting my teeth down and sucking.

* * *

><p>"Aaah." The sound was one of pleasure, but it was enough to get me to break away. Kurt immediately whined, pulling me back down towards him but I resisted. For the first time I looked critically at his body and was taken aback. There were bruises everywhere. On his shoulder, his chest, his arms… A small gasp flew from my lips and Kurt looked concerned, before realising what I was looking at and sighing.<p>

"Blaine…"

"No." I batted away his hand and continued to stare in horror. Who had _done_ this to him? Was this all my fault?

"Blaine please it's ok-"

"No it's not! Look at you…" My fingers ran lightly across Kurt's chest and he shivered. How could I give him so much pleasure but then at the same time have been the cause of so much pain?

"_Blaine_." My boyfriend took hold of my hand a squeezed it, staring deep into my eyes. "Go back to what you were doing." I felt my eyebrows furrow for a second before glancing back at his neck.

"What? That?"

"Yes."

"No." I shook my head. I couldn't do that. I couldn't add another mark to Kurt's body.

"Stop saying no."

"I can't…" I continued, still gripping onto his hand but still shaking my head. "I can't…do that to…"

"_I want you to_." I flashed my head round. Kurt looked serious – his eyes weren't lustful but they were loving and the look seeped into my soul and made me feel complete. "I want that mark there. _I belong to you_." He tugged on my hand and I let myself fall forward, adjusting myself gently to the position I had been in before.

"I belong to you too." I said, before capturing his lips again. Kurt sighed, bringing up his hands to twine in my hair before I worked up the courage and went back to his collarbone.

* * *

><p>Despite his blessing I still didn't want to actually hurt my boyfriend, so let my teeth graze over the area lightly as my tongue licked at it. Kurt groaned but I didn't change my speed, slowly pressing my lips down and then beginning to suck. In a way this was actually better – sexy but without any pain. Kurt went crazy, writhing underneath me so I had to press my body down slightly harder to curb it.<p>

"Mmmmn…yes…" I got into a rhythm, occasionally letting my tongue run along the skin and then felt a leg slip out from between mine to wind round and rub up against me. Wow. This was super nice. I don't know why we hadn't done it before. Of course I wanted sex with Kurt more than anything – there was no experience comparable. But somehow at the moment this was all we needed. Just, closeness.

As Kurt's hands traced patterns over my back and he mumbled unintelligible sounds I rested my weight on my forearms and threaded my fingers through his hair, making contented murmurs of my own. We stayed like that for a while – neither of us making any sense but both of us knowing exactly what it meant.

* * *

><p>When I finally let my lips pop free from my boyfriends skin he let out a sigh of disappointment. I relaxed my arms, settling down on top of Kurt and then rolled lazily off him to lie on the bed. Kurt immediately turned his body to follow me and we both lay on our sides, gazing deep into each other's eyes.<p>

"Did you leave a mark?" He asked after a few seconds of silence. Our eyes didn't break contact even to look at the patch of skin.

"No." My boyfriend's nose crinkled and I found myself almost cooing, so overtaken by every part of him.

"I wanted you to."

"I know. But I'd rather leave a mark on here instead." I moved my hand to rest lightly on his chest, just over his beating heart. Kurt sighed and placed his own hand over mine.

"You already have." I shifted my body a little closer, pressing our chests together so our hands were crushed and winding one of my legs between his. Our noses were touching and I could feel Kurt's breath tickling against my skin.

"I am still so sorry." I whispered, still unable to get rid of the guilt that coursed through me every time I thought about how we had both been a couple of hours earlier.

"Sssh…" Closing the last few millimetres Kurt kissed me, long slow and tender. I kissed back but then when we broke away carried on talking.

"But Kurt I still feel terrible-OW!" Had he just bit my nose? My boyfriend giggled, my eyes wide from the shock of the sharp light sensation that had shot through my face.

"Stop trying to ruin our romantic moment." I scowled and Kurt giggled again. It was hard to be serious when he was that goddamn adorable.

"I'm not ruining it. I'm just trying to make up for what I did."

"You've already made up." I tried to shake my head but Kurt stopped me, bringing the hand that wasn't still linked with mine up to play with the hair round my ears. "I know what you did was very wrong, but you didn't mean it. I know that and so do you. Otherwise I would be in Biology right now." I snorted, making Kurt smile and his hand move up to massage the top of my head.

"I still can't believe we skipped school. I can't believe _you_ skipped school."

"What can I say – you're a bad influence." I sighed and closed my eyes for a second, almost purring at the feeling of my boyfriend taking care of me, loving me.

"All I ever wanted was for you to love me – and you do."

"Oh God yes, _God_ yes I love you." Kurt smiled – that same smile that seemed to light up his face whenever I revealed my feelings for him – and it was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"So lets just, _be_. You and me."

"You and me."

"Kurt and Blaine. Together."

"No matter what anybody says."

And in that moment – **we were.**


End file.
